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hey hi hello

@emwarfield / emwarfield.tumblr.com

college grad. northwestern university. 24. gay. he/him/his. ESTJ.
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It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

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schakira

okay… i can still see the folds on your wizard robe… iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it’s really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn’t being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

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hold the fuck up I just noticed there’s an apple juice emoji

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SCREAMING

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t4tsonadow

Thats a GRAPE JUICE BOXBDBDBDND

OH SHIT.

God I wish I could have some apple juice :(

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tigwex
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what the shit is this????? boiled egg????? boiled egg juice???

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its orange juice clearly

🧃

Is appl

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dualclock

J Ü C E

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spelledslots

Juicebox tower of Babel

Some people have sunny juice even

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gayluigi

Can we talk about how OpenMoji has people straight up drinking lemon juice from a juice box?

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owiez

Lemonade ..... youre talking about lemonade

Everyone in this post has brain damage

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every semicolon i’ve ever used has been a shot in the dark

Semicolon use is actually quite simple; semicolons separate two complete, related sentences.

cool; bro

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reblogged
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oak23

seeing people’s Disney’s Belle doll collections nowadays

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srhuevos

I’ve seen The One in person and it’s horrifying

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reblogged

imagine not liking mamma mia. like imagine having so much hate in your heart that you can’t sit through an hour and a half of amazing ABBA songs and Meryl Streep. can’t relate

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thanks keyboard, when I accidentally typed hest instead of best I totally wanted the hest (norwegian word for horse) emoji

It can happen to the
of us
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ladies? i have GOT to ask. what is going on

Well, I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take a deep breath and I get real high, and I scream from the top of my lungs.

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