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Something Clever

@rumandsaturdaymorningcartoons / rumandsaturdaymorningcartoons.tumblr.com

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis
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sndwave

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

*stands majestically in a bucket*

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

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prokopetz

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

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musicalhell

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

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glumshoe

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

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pantheraj

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

European swallows or African swallows?

this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn’t their idea in the first place

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ruptorune

Please don’t fucking log off tumblr on the 17th as a protest. All that’s going to do is give tumblr more reason to shut this place down because of revenue loss.

Please don’t fucking log off tumblr on the 17th as a protest. All that’s going to do is give tumblr more reason to shut this place down because of revenue loss.

This is blatantly untrue

Companies do not experience one day of revenue loss and pull the plug, destroying years of work and firing dozens if not hundreds of employees.

Companies which experience loss in revenue and consumer interest make investments and changes in order to regain their users/customers. That’s why organized protests and boycotts WORK. Tumblr will NOT go down after one bad day or week, but they might be willing to listen to its userbase if we put up an organized protest. (If you don’t believe me, think about how long sites like MySpace and Google+ hang around with fractions of their previous user base, often for years.)

Yahoo paid over one billion dollars for Tumblr, and the website will not go offline because of a one-day event, so in conclusion,

DO log off on December 17th to show Tumblr that you disapprove of its recent content ban and clumsy execution of censorship.

Please reblog this version of the post to stop the spread of misinformation.

I didn’t know how this kind of stuff works so I apologize for spreading misinformation.

@charmingsides You were right!

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god i just found this again while folder cleaning

one of the few crossdressing ducks that didn’t make me break out in hives, on account of not having been forced to do it for emasculating reasons or anything, it’s just a practical solution to daisy having too many obligations since they look exactly, and i mean exactly the same

one of those obligations was manning a kissing booth for charity and donald punching a catcaller in the face escalates into guys just fucking lining up to get decked by a cute little duck

get on his fucking level, mickey

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podle5

GET ON HIS FUCKING LEVEL, MICKEY

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why did they use the iron helmet in all of the skyrim promo material it’s the ugliest and stats-wise one of the worst helmets in the game. fuck bethesdo

fus roh dah

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mintamenapie

Shout out to all your internet friends who are gone.

Those messenger screen names that haven’t logged on in ages, some before detailed profiles were a thing on those services.

Those emails that are long since abandoned, some with domains that no longer exist.

Those online friends you knew years ago and who then helped shaped you in some way, who you just can’t FIND anymore.

Those people who once were, and hopefully still exist IRL, that seem to have no known internet life anymore.

And those who have actually passed on, and their online lives are now a memorial to them.

I miss you all. I hope life is/was kind to you, and maybe one day, we’ll somehow connect again.

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You know we’re in the dark timeline when Stephenie Meyer has minded her own damned business for years and J.K. Rowling keeps tumbling down the metaphorical steps of murdering her own universe and personal character in the public eye for everyone to see.

Like, if in 2008 you had told me Stephenie Meyer would quietly retire and stay in her lane instead of continuing to write weird Mormon fantasy with nothing but white characters and J.K. Rowling would be on Twitter spouting some shit like “THE GOBLET OF FIRE WAS ACTUALLY ONCE A TRANS WOMAN, I’VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS SINCE 1986!” I’d say you were a fucking liar.

But here we are.

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sexioto
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crilbyte

Oh shit. No. Shit. Thank you

Just gonna reblog this out of gratitude because I actually did forget…

Fffffffff let me get right on that. 

and then reblog for the next forgetful son of a bitch

I’m so great full for everyone that is reblogging this. I totally forgot to take mine

I think that there is some sort of unspoken fairy godparent thing where you see this, realize that you forgot your meds, and rebagel it because if you forgot someone else must have. And in our turn we all take care of each other, even if we don’t know it.

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I just. I don’t like this view of “millennials vs Gen Z”. This is NOT supposed to be a competition of who got fucked over the most and who’s “actually fighting back”.

Millennials are fighting back just by surviving in a job market where the minimum wage doesn’t cover the living cost. Millennials are awesome at “killing” the diamond, golfing and napkins industries. Millennials are using the internet to make sure things that corporations want to keep in the dark are exposed. They’re open LGBTQIA-friendly business, they’re supporting each other with online donations so everyone can survive this shitty economy.

And the Gen Z kids? The Gen Z kids are rad. I remember a post about something like the millennials making a collective promise to never become a disenchanted generation that only criticizes the next one and I want to point out that this “millennials vs gen z” trend is trying to do exactly that: split us apart. Prevent millennials from being the older siblings that teach the younger siblings to throw a good punch and turn them into the annoyed adult complaining about “those kids” on their lawn. We are the two groups that grew in a connected world of information. We are two very unique generations.

I think that it’s our duty for us millennials, as a disrespected, underpaid, very angry generation to stand up by our younger siblings, and fight together the oppressive systems that brought us all to this point.

They’re trying very hard to pit Millennials and Gen Z against each other because I honestly think they’re terrified of what the two will accomplish together.

As I said, fuck it up kids.

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