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look around, look around.

@sch-wartz / sch-wartz.tumblr.com

hi, i'm anna, i like laughing at my own jokes, a lot of TV shows, and tacos. also, i really love ben schwartz (!!!). currently in love with: ▫︎ andy samberg ▫︎ mandy moore (!!!) ▫︎ natalie dormer currently binge watching: ▫︎ grey's anatomy, season eight var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5120182"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "http://freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=low-cal calzone&e2=low-cal calzones&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("<span id='o_"+fhs_id+"'>");
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hello everyone it’s been six months but here i am! lol. i graduated from college, got my heart super broken, and am now on the job search. life is boring and i suddenly have enough free time for tumblr. wooohoooo!

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“Cool girl”. Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment: “She’s a cool girl”. Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for fucking. She likes what he likes, so evidently he’s a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, she’s a mall babe who talks for football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters. When I met Nick Dunne I knew he wanted “Cool girl”. And for him, I’ll admit: I was willing to try.

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neilnevins

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

Is this an episode of Black Mirror

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spindletrees

like, yes, ‘one direction’ is the creation of a capitalist monolith, closely managed with the central purpose of provoking a money-spending reaction in the young female demographic.

but also.

they are my sons.

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Actual Ravenclaw™: Barely passes any classes because they never study, constantly procrastinating, forgot the word for "nightstand" and spent ten minutes at 12am trying to Google it, has a folder on their phone just for memes, alternates between weeks without reading at all to devouring three books in six days or less, they have no idea what's actually happening in their lives, Fake It Till You Make It
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for those of you who are confused abt the colours in the bisexual pride flag:

the pink represents attraction to same/similar genders the blue represents attraction to genders different from ones own and the purple represents donatello, the best ninja turtle

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marimopet

i don’t appreciate the fact that voluptuous bodies are praised only if there’s skinny arms, a flat stomach and a chiselled face but you want thick thighs, a big bum and breasts. but you also don’t want stretch marks, cellulite, scars. …….like how do you think bodies work

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