Into the garbage chute, flyboy

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

Sorry for being incapable of answering a question without like 900 "It dependssss" prefaces. Unfortunately too many things depend on too many things

“it’s going to be WW3!!” no bitch it’s going to be vietnam, korea, afghanistan, it’s going to be another war wherein the US commits unspeakable and indefensible acts against a severely weakened people seeking self determination. it’s going to be another war where protesting is criminalized and “freedom of speech” is gutted in the interest of pushing propaganda. it’s going to be another nation of people added to the long list of victims of US imperialism and another demonstration of the strong undercurrent of fascism running through the foundation of america

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

#oh it raises money thru ad revenue and ur click confirms the value to advertisers. neat

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

me seeing a mutual's happy post: "hell yeah buddy :)" *hits like*

me seeing a mutual's sad/vent post: "aww no buddy :(" *hits like*

its so unfortunate when different peoples neurodivergent traits clash horribly. like yes i totally understand that the man at the other table cant control his stimming and loud vocal tics and i think he deserves to have a nice day out at a restaraunt without judgement. however if i dont remove myself from the audible vicinity in the next 20 seconds i will explode.

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY | Alex (3.09)

"Ziva must've told her. She knows me." || "I guess Tony didn't feel safe enough to send it up until now."

Being on your phone in bed at home during your free time: this sucks I'm wasting my life away what am I doing

Being on your phone at work:

ID: an idealistic ocean reef scene with dolphins leaping and rainbows and colorful skies and coral with the caption that says “Yay.” End ID.

Sometimes self-care is, actually, NOT getting onto the computer and little treats and watching youtube videos. Sometimes those things are self-care, but sometimes they're also avoidant behaviors.

Sometimes self care is waking up and just. Fucking getting in the car. And driving to the bank. And the store. And buying the cat litter. And changing the cat boxes you've been avoiding because your brains been stuck in a hole. And picking up the trash you've been piling up. And getting a load into the wash. And mowing the lawn before the village council sends you a formal complaint and potential-fines warning.

Like its hard and annoying to do because it sucks. It sucks so much. But if I don't start working on this pile of bullshit I've let build up because it stinks and i was stuck in deer-in-headlights mode, I risk letting it turn into fuckery. I do not have the patience for fuckery that I once - foolishly! - thought I had.

This mentality helped me so much. Framing my "chores" and mundane tasks as self care and something I can do for myself, really helped me. On a good day I feel like I can genuinely enjoy basic to-dos because I get something nice for myself afterwards, even if that nice thing is just a better living environment. And sometimes it's still too hard, and that's okay too.

I am extremely online but in like the Loser Way. if you try to make me use instagram or tiktok I fumble around with it like a grandma who has never seen a phone before. if you send me a tumblr screenshot however, I will tell you that not only have I already seen the original post but that I'm mutuals with OP

google how to ask a good friend to hang out without embarrassment. google how to send text to friend without sounding like an insane weirdo whos never talked to another human being before. google how to text like a normal person. wikihow to talk to anyone

"I'm going shopping on Tuesday you wanna come with?"

"Hey I'm at the park you wanna chill?"

"Do you need a grocery buddy I'm headed to the store in an hour"

"You do you have plans after work tomorow"

"I'm getting slusheeeeeeeees do you wanna come"

"I'm downtown rn wanna be hooligans with me"