Pinned
Reblogged thisnightsrevels
MY FAVORITE DAY
Reblogged thisnightsrevels
I can’t get into it without outing myself and my job, but damn I wish people could figure out how to break the rules on their own. If you involve me, if you tell me you’re going to violate a contract, I am required to do something. I’m not a cop! I’m not a narc! You could simply not tell me this shit! I am begging you to not tell me! Don’t send me an email to my work address that says “I’m going to violate our contract, how would you suggest I do it?” Well first things first don’t fucking tell me
Like one time I was working at the bar years before weed was legal. The owner hated pot and pot smokers. And this regular was standing in front of the front door smoking his little glass pipe
“Hey man, go around the corner”
“Naw it’s cool”
“It’s really not. (The owner) will ban you if he sees you doing this in front of his bar like an idiot”
“He won’t see me”
“Yeah but I see you. And I’m asking you to go around the corner so you’re not right in front of the fucking bar”
“It’s just weed. Are you scared of weed?”
“Listen you stupid hippie I use drugs that would blow your burnout mind. I don’t give a shit about weed. But do not fucking involve me, do not involve the bar. Just take seven steps to the corner and smoke your heart out”
“Naw man it’s cool”
Then the owner came outside and blew his fucking stack and the guy was barred for life. And then the owner got mad at me for not running to him and telling him hippie Dave was burning it down in front of the bar. I’m just begging you to not involve me in your poorly thought-out crimes in a way that will get us both in serious trouble. I am begging you
Bringing this back in a general way to remind people who might be considering breaking rules that maybe not telling strangers you are about to break some rules might be wise. Because you do not know where that information is going to end up
Reblogged thisnightsrevels
Got bootlace code and hanky code confused for a second & tried to remember what yellow laces mean & thought to myself "piss? No"
What has absolutely no precedent though is that my second thought was "killed a taxi driver"
Reblogged thisnightsrevels
happy neil banging out the tunes day to everyone who celebrates
Reblogged thisnightsrevels
tom demonstrating the appropriate response to any mention of the woman
Reblogged bluehairedspidey
i just beefed with someone online and I got tired of it so I said "I ate some really good blueberries today" and they replied "I had a fire ass peach today". world peace
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she's a nurse. she's the ancestor of an anglican solider. she drinks expired milk for dinner. she's the queen of a distant planet. she gets yelled at by both her housemates. she survives a rift through time. she ends a war in less than an hour. she still remembers her old boyfriend owes her 50 pounds.
she calls out the doctor for scanning her without permission. she has trauma around being corrected and shushed and talked over. she takes all kinds of insanity in her stride and goes to start helping people in need. she kills an incel so hard he gets un-conceived.
Reblogged shaggydogstail
Reblogged andhumanslovedstories
Reblogged cvsgiftcard101
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was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast
roeddwn yn mesur allan 'chydig o siwgr a wnes i lwyo un llwyaid allan a ffycin dweud "dau." doeddwn i ddim hyd yn oed yn gwybod dy fod yn gallu colli cyfrif mor gyflym â hynny
