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we are such stuff as dreams are made on.

@jamielikesyellow / jamielikesyellow.tumblr.com

i'm figuring it out.
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There's nothing quite like the holidays. Sleeping in, going to my favorite restaurants, getting ridiculed for having an opinion... Most wonderful time of the year.

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alectobarbie
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laclefdescoeurs

My Wife’s Lovers, 1891, Carl Kahler

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loppytaffy

God I hope I am immortalised by my husband for having 40 cats

Fun facts:

  • It cost $5,000 in 1888 to have this painting made, which is more than $120,000 in today’s money.
  • I say 1888 because it took three years for Kahler to complete, reportedly because he spent most of the time studying and sketching each cat to get a feel for their personality.
  • It was painted for Kate Johnson, the title was her husband’s idea though, proving him the most patient and good-humored husband in the history of crazy cat ladies.
  • Speaking of cat ladies, the picture actually contains 42 cats. Or more specifically, Mrs. Johnson’s 42 most favorite cats. She had 350 in total.
  • It sold at auction via Sotheby’s a few days ago for over $800,000 dollars, vastly more than its $200,000-$300,000 estimate.
  • The buyer is a private collector in California.
  • Probably someone who really, really likes cats.
  • I mean, really likes cats.
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There's nothing like having a cute recruiter come in to talk to your kids about the military (he was not scheduled to come in- my coworker saw him and decided to send him my way because my fellow teachers are on a boyfriend hunt for me) and having all of your freshmen decided to start chanting "Ms. Billiou and Army Guy sitting in a tree" WHILE HE'S STILL IN THE ROOM. Oy vey children are embarrassing.

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I'm so excited to go back to school. I just applied to a JC by my work, and I'm going to take French next semester. I get to learn a beautiful language and have some social time and I cannot wait.

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jett-setting
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acutelesbian

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

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fat-thin-skinny

this fucks me up every single time

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acutelesbian

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

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humansofnewyork

“I wish I had more backbone. We’ve been dating five years, and he seems more willing to walk away, so he has all the power. Whenever I question something he does, he says: ‘Then maybe we shouldn’t be together.’ I can never bring myself to say the same thing to him. So if he does something that bothers me, I think: ‘I can stand it.’ But if I do something that bothers him, he says: ‘I’m not going to tolerate it.’”

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jamielikesyellow

Never again.

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