...and the world laughs with you

actually, growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i’ve been eighteen for years. fifteen year olds seem so young. wasn’t i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still twelve. i’m closer to thirty then to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can’t talk to my mom. i want to sit in her lap forever. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do.

The relentless campaign. Nemfrog. 2018. Source. 

Nouvelle Calédonie, 1965

@oso_seoul

Fine Crop of Kitties (by LisaGenius)

Black Cat, 1896

“no more half loves” by Chloë Frayne

Comic book moon. My Secret Life. n.d.

Internet Archive

Grammistes sexlineatus, goldenstriped soapfish.  Salt Water Aquarium Fish.1963. 

I have to work on not mourning him and not waiting for him to reach a point of lucidity where he suddenly understands everything I have to believe he understands and he is too cowardly to ever pursue what’s true or confront it And so I have to slowly amputate this phantom feeling or phantom wait like I’m leaving my door unlocked for someone who is never going to make it back to my house He is not different frm any other man. He just was able to sustain his imposterhood long enough for me to feel safe (r ) than ever) and that is the violation I have to work on pushing thru. Bc it’s all of this but it is also a much deeper violation of the first and only one who broke thru a threshold (or the threshold of me or my threshold) and then abandoned and retreated

Happy Father’s Day

Jonathan Delafield Cook, Eucalyptus, 2006