"A few, actually," he grunted through his teeth. His fingers tapped along the opposite forearm with an almost nervous sort of energy. "Namely in that, despite all of the information he is supposedly gathering, I haven't heard so much as a whisper of it. Then I begin to suspect he's hiding something. Next thing I know, other sources tell me he's been in extensive talks with the clown of all people! Though on what matters I don't know." The blond grumbled somewhat irritably. "And when I ask directly, he says nothing still. It's just so infuriating is what it is."

treat yourself like you would treat your favorite character

As a fanfiction author I think this is a bad idea.

Winona Ryder - 2017 SAG awards

you know what

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

“Bees?”

“HE PICKED THE BEES!!” *chefs angrily shake jars of bees*

when someone greets you by your name but you completely forget theirs and you don’t remember ever talking to them

Standardized Tests:

Select the best option to replace the underlined part of the sentence.

Oh, right, the poison.

A) the poison.

B) the poison for Kuzco.

C) the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco.

D) Kuzco’s poison.

when you hear the THUD of a cat landing on the floor that shouldn’t have been on the counter in the first place

tfw ur trying to write plot but ur brain only provides you with out-of-sequence snippets built on vague ideas and an endless number of potential outcomes that develop and branch out unnaturally over an unspecified timespan

this is the perfect grade of good luck

reblog in 5 seconds and all of your grades will inch ever closer to perfect

trying to get your story together like:

Explaining your story to a willing ear:

There needs to be more cosplayers like this.

“That’s the worst Batman cosplay I’ve seen in my life!”

“BATman? Well that explains it”

“What?”

“Why he looks like he dressed in the dark!”

“D’OOHHHHOHOHOHOOO”

This may be the best cosplay ever. EVER.

Cats That Don’t Care About Your Personal Space