@dalish-loser / dalish-loser.tumblr.com
“Everyday at dawn, a postboy delivered the mail to the entire town. One of his most exciting, yet scariest stops, was the mysterious house buried within the forest, where sunlight had to fight to reach the ground. He had never seen anyone enter or leave the building, but the picture was always the same: warm light coming from the windows, a chimney working cheerfully, and an expectant owl ready to snatch whatever he had to turn over."
Instagram: celia.rguez
some people today complain that having the internet at our fingertips has spoiled millennials but like, i’m so glad i can look shit up whenever i want to. like can you imagine what it’d be like living in ancient greece and having to rely on herodotus when he says shit like “lions can only give birth once bc their cubs claw their way out of the womb”? i’d have to be like “o damn, guess that’s true” before going back to farming and dying of malaria bc i just thought my neighbor was cursing me again and didn’t go see a doctor
me: i wanna write
someone: then… write?
me:
Beethoven — Fur Chiken
I haven’t even watched this show and I already know who my favorite is.
(via lowghen)
MAKE HIM REGRET
*spec prep*
*spec prep*
So my husband tells a story about a guy he worked with at his first job. They’d regularly go to a Thai restaurant near their office - one of those really legit places where grandma is the chef. So the guy says one day to their server, looks this girl dead in the eye, and says “You can’t make it hot enough.”
Server gives him this look like “your funeral” and takes the order to the kitchen. GRANDMA COMES OUT AND LOOKS AT THIS POOR WHITE BOY, shakes her head, and goes back in the kitchen.
When the dish comes out, it’s a solid mass of just RED. Dudes at the table are dying just sitting near it. This guy tries his damnedest, gets about five bites in, and can’t do it. Mr You-cant-make-it-hot-enough was fucking obliterated by Chef Grandma.
And to add insult to injury, they replaced the dish for him, and GRANDMA BRINGS IT OUT, gives him a look and shakes her head.
I think there’s a reasonable chance this was his receipt.
HE BROUGHT IT ON HIMSELF BY TALKING SHIT ABOUT THEIR PAD THAI
HOLY FUCK WHAT!!!
what's your best meme Claudia?? I wanna see what you got.
Candid pics? No, take cryptid pics of me. Make me as blurry as possible. My eyes glow. I’m in places I logically can’t be in.
me when i finally watch the old hollywood classic that everyone berates me about never having seen before
Greater Boston AU where Michael uses this instead of the I Ching
For my Tarot peeps
The bisexual stereotype is true. I am bi and I can’t decide anything. I have never made a decision in my life.
When u wake up and ur teddy bear is on the floor
me: i love sumer!
someone: did you mean summer?
me, hanging out in a ziggurat with my hands full of cuneiform tablets : no
