BABY OH NO

my cat: *gets a claw caught on my sweater*

my cat:

as a child i was always amazed by how fast adults could chop onions and then before you know it you’re chopping onions very fast and that’s it that’s life

*takes a fat sip of my tea* what a great day to remember that you cannot “detox” your body, nor do you need to!!! your liver works very hard to do that for you (your liver, coincidentally, does not need to be “detoxed” either).

also a fantastic time to remember that detox/weight loss teas are diuretics and are designed to shit yourself to a certain weight, activated charcoal is useless unless administered as poison control by a medical professional, and please get yourself vaccinated!!!

just saw one of those dumbass posts on my dash so i’m posting this. remember to tag your reblog bait if you’re gonna spread those around so people like me don’t have to keep posting these fucking dogs!! c:

Item: double cheeseburger made entirely of gems; a delicacy among lithophages like Xorns, Delvers, Earth Elementals, &c.

WARNING

NSFW ADULTS ONLY 

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do no read this at work!!!

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hen tie lmao

ba groba naby dooni tudem

So my brother tried to pet an iguana today…

People always forget the tail….

BEGONE

thief..

elmo thinks bc i give her eye drops and feed her and kiss her im her mom now

everyone say feel better elmo

good: “may i have this dance?”

EXCELLENT: “may i have this dance?” *draws sword*

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby

feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

…

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever

I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby

Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby

“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER.

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby

SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING

FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?

They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.

I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol

I’ve never seen the movie, Child’s Play, but I imagine this is what it’s about.

a precious baby

OH MY GODS ITS A BABY