Part of the Precipitate

no offense but a waiter could literally murder me and i’d still tip 20%

I would actually tip more if they murdered me. That’s great customer service

Clementine von Radics (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

Goldfish Bowl

thanks duolingo but i know that one

I’m not gay but I think Dwayne Johnson could give a mean shoulder massage.

I’m not straight but I also think Dwayne Johnson could give a mean shoulder massage.

Reblog if you want Dwayne’s Gentle Meaty Hands to knead the lactic acid out of your flesh.

LGBT:

Let’s

Get massaged

By

The Rock (Dwayne Johnson)

yo bro is it safe down there in the woods? yeah man it’s cool by Tomislav Jagnjic

I thought this was just a joke but nope, that’s literally what the artist named this piece.

Some other gems by Tomislac Jagnjic:

@saathi1013

I will never understand why this Christmas song goes so hard.

OKAY MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

so during the bosnian war (which was this nasty-ass conflict in bosnia and herzgovina) there was this badass cello-playing motherfucker named vedran smailovic. He was from Sarajevo, was upset about all the shit and nastiness that came about through this war (this was full-on brother-killing-brother shit!) that he went around to bombed-out, blown up buildings and funderals––where he was at risk of FUCKING SNIPER FIRE––and playing the cello. This guy was so set on providing one tiny spot of beauty in a seriously nasty war he was risking being fucking SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

He’s why there’s the calm cello part at the beginning before everything gets all violent-sounding. It’s THEMATIC.

THAT’S WHY THIS CHRISTMAS SONG GOES SO FUCKING HARD.

Knowing and understanding history makes everything better. :)

My goosebumps are like knives

The song was originally recorded by the metal band Savatage as part of a concept album about the Bosnian war called Dead Winter Dead. Savatage by this time was basically a collaboration between the band and their producer Paul O'Neill, who served as co-writer of their music and came up with their lyrics and concepts.

So one day Atlantic Records came to O'Neill and said “hey we want you to form a band.” And so he grabbed some of the guys from Savatage and came up with TSO and he put that song up there on a Christmas album and…now no one knows Savatage did it first. The version on the TSO album is the same track.

It amuses me because with the same basic sound as TSO Savatage wasn’t all that successful. But somehow marrying that music to Christmas albums WORKED and now TSO is a monster. Funny how that worked out.

reblog if you’re gay because of ghosts

the best part of this image is that the website it’s from is dead fucking serious

I found the page and it’s better than I could have even imagined.  apparently lesbians are possessed by male ghosts that cause attracted to women and gay men have female ghosts.  Also this line: 

“Spiritual research has shown that the cause for homosexual preferences lie predominantly in the spiritual realm.”

Part of me wishes it did have a citation 

WAIT FUCK THERE”S MORE

Reblog if your homosexuality was a slippery slope to your interest in murder 

@bechdels……………

Wait, best part about the percent tables above:

100 swear words = 1 murder

OMG

This mushroom is doing its best

Same

HE’S GONNA DO IT!

A+++ CONTENT.

Where’s this from?

the jungle book (1967, dir. wolfgang reitherman)

me at every mild inconvenience

Why are Ross and Rachel so iconic when Chandler and Monica’s relationship is 50,000 times more romantic, cuter and HEALTHIER than Ross and Rachel’s?

theres an episode where monica catches chandler watching porn so he changes the channel to a shark documentary but he still has a boner so monica tries to do shark things next time they sleep together and if that isnt romance i dont know what is you know

Run the Jewels drop some major truth a year after Ferguson

“Riots work.” At least, that’s according to Run the Jewels. In a video exclusive to the BBC, Killer Mike discussed how the events that unfolded on the streets of Ferguson last year forever changed the city for the better. And Ferguson’s own law enforcement actually agrees.