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Just an average Joe

@thatrandomgaydude / thatrandomgaydude.tumblr.com

hi
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Broken Glass Cupcakes Ingredients 1 Can white frosting 1 Box Red Velvet Cake Mix Sugar Glass: 2 cups water 1 cup light corn syrup 3 ½ cups white sugar ¼ teaspoon cream of tartar Edible Blood: ½ cup light corn syrup 1 tablespoon cornstarch ¼ cup water, or more as needed 15 drops red food coloring 3 drops blue food coloring Directions Prepare Red Velvet Cake Mix According to box, line cupcake tins with paper cupcake liners. Divide cake batter between lined cupcake tins. Bake according to box instructions. Let cool and frost cupcakes with white frosting. Make the sugar glass. Mix 2 cups water, 1 cup corn syrup, white sugar, and cream of tartar in a large saucepan; bring to a boil. Use a candy thermometer and boil sugar syrup until temperature reaches 300 degrees (hard ball), stirring constantly. The mixture will thicken as water evaporates. When sugar reaches 300 degrees, quickly pour onto a metal baking pan. Cool until completely hardened. Break into “shards” using a meat mallet. Make the edible blood. Mix together ½ cup corn syrup and cornstarch in a large bowl. Slowly stir in the ¼ cup of water, adding more if necessary, until the corn syrup mixture has thickened to the consistency of blood. Stir in the red and blue food coloring. Stab each frosted cupcake with a few shards of broken sugar glass. Drizzle on drops of “blood” to complete the effect.

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Broken Glass Cupcakes Ingredients 1 Can white frosting 1 Box Red Velvet Cake Mix Sugar Glass: 2 cups water 1 cup light corn syrup 3 ½ cups white sugar ¼ teaspoon cream of tartar Edible Blood: ½ cup light corn syrup 1 tablespoon cornstarch ¼ cup water, or more as needed 15 drops red food coloring 3 drops blue food coloring Directions Prepare Red Velvet Cake Mix According to box, line cupcake tins with paper cupcake liners. Divide cake batter between lined cupcake tins. Bake according to box instructions. Let cool and frost cupcakes with white frosting. Make the sugar glass. Mix 2 cups water, 1 cup corn syrup, white sugar, and cream of tartar in a large saucepan; bring to a boil. Use a candy thermometer and boil sugar syrup until temperature reaches 300 degrees (hard ball), stirring constantly. The mixture will thicken as water evaporates. When sugar reaches 300 degrees, quickly pour onto a metal baking pan. Cool until completely hardened. Break into “shards” using a meat mallet. Make the edible blood. Mix together ½ cup corn syrup and cornstarch in a large bowl. Slowly stir in the ¼ cup of water, adding more if necessary, until the corn syrup mixture has thickened to the consistency of blood. Stir in the red and blue food coloring. Stab each frosted cupcake with a few shards of broken sugar glass. Drizzle on drops of “blood” to complete the effect.

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1990: don't drink and drive
2000: don't text and drive
2016: don't pokémon go and drive
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She’s going to heaven

quain

No lie, I’d do it too.

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uber driver dropping me off: is this good? me: there’s actually a Snorlax down the street so if we can just- uber driver: get out

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sjp

list of things she did: 1. that

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sridevi

she really did!

FUCKING GOOD

look at him throw it back as if he’s not the arsehole in this situation…?

I really hope she didn’t get fired for this cause he deserved that and more.

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Anonymous asked:

Jackson, just thought you should know that FYI, your likes aren't private, the porn you like is public. I didn't know you liked Asian boys so much, haha. Just thought you should know we can all see it! -anon gay guy

I'm def into Asian guys. Thanks for the heads up. It used to be private... FML. Thanks for stalking me, or I would never have known.

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“”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.” 

“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”

“He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes”

“My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters.

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freedom of speech means that the government can’t imprison you for what you say, not that the rest of us can’t tell you to shut the fuck up

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i was at an ap physics saturday session and the teacher was talking about gravity, saying that we’re all attracted to each other

behind me, one kid says to his friend “i’m attracted to you”

and with absolutely no hesitation, he replies “my foot is attracted to your ass”

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