I'm having a hard time figuring out if I'm happy. I'm so in love w my bf, he makes me so happy like after a few drinks on my bday I started crying happy tears bc what we have is so pure and lovely and I don't think about boys who have shit all over me in the past anymore even if what they did still affects me. On the other hand I don't feel like I'm doing great at the whole uni thing, I literally hate going out now and I'm too depressed and tired to socialise much but sober I'm so bad at conversation so I'm not making many friends at all. I feel guilty for being on my own rather than hanging with people but I just like my own company most of the time tbh. Also my course is so demanding and I'm so stressed with it even if I do love it so idk how I am at all.

So my job is making my anxiety make a reappearance. It's very apparent that I can't talk to adults and they all think I'm weird and treat me like an injured animal or something plus my boss makes me so nervous and has a huge problem with the fact I'm quiet and I hugely fucked up yesterday and everyone was okay about it but now there's an urgent meeting on Wednesday and I'm worried I might get fired??? like I hate it but I need the money badly :(((((