Confessions of an Opinionated Book Geek

I just want us to be friends.

"I'm telling you this because you worked so hard to know me, but, you know nothing."/"Why is it so important that I know the real you?"

Hannah’s a witch, but not the kind you’re thinking of. She’s the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she’s ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans.

But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah’s concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah’s sure it’s the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica.

While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she’s going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem’s witches become deadlier by the day.

• He is not in drag.
• He is wearing a dress and a bonnet.
• He is the only one who seems unaware/does not acknowledge that the 5 Bennet sisters are obviously adopted
• bonus points if they're cast race-blind so they're OBVIOUSLY adopted
• It's played straight that Jack Black was a renowned beauty in his day, which is how he snared a genteel husband
• He is the only cast member not required to do a British accent
• He is in fact encouraged to do a bad British accent but only sometimes
• The bonnet that Jack Black wears is possibly the most ostentatious bonnet anyone has ever seen HOWEVER
• Each time the camera cuts away and back, Jack Black is wearing a different bonnet.
• A significant portion of the costume budget should go towards Jack Black's various bonnets
• Mr. Bennet can wear the same outfit for the entire film that's in character for him
• The changing bonnet gag is absolutely key to this film