"i won't do polyamory because i don't think it's for me and i'm personally uncomfortable with the idea" <- wonderful i love you live your life however you want youre amazing youre incredible
"i won't do polyamory because it's wrong/it's just cheating" incorrect i'm killing you then my boyfriend is killing you then his boyfriend is killing you then his boyfriend is killing you then his boyfriend is killing you then h
If this ain't me
Me, bleeding profusely from a missing leg as I’m being dragged onto the beach: THIS WAS A STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY OCCASION, IF THE SHARK WANTED ME DEAD I WOULD BE DEAD. SHARKS ARE IMPORTANT FOR THEIR ECOSYSTEMS I DO NOT CONDONE ANY ATTEMPTS TO HUNT THIS SHARK
if an animal kills me, that was on ME. it caught ME slackin. let it eat me
(Clawing at the dirt as underpaid EMTs drag me away from the scene) The measurement of danger in relation to any thing must be weighed against the level of ignorance of the party who wishes to accept known risk, and anything at all can be "safe" or "unsafe" given the correct set of variables, this easily could have been tainted grains or a vending machine mishap but that doesn't make for a strong headline now does it
Guy came up to me and yelled so loudly that it made me jump. All caps isn't enough I need wordart to describe how loud he was. This was not "I can't tell I'm being loud" this was "In another life I was the town crier" loud. Hear ye hear ye loud. He was friendly, but holy crap
no more sex. we ran out of sex
The community guideline violation pic is arguably more funny than whatever the original response to “check in the back” for more sex was.
tumblr being all adults nowadays is so funny because my mutuals are either unemployed chainsmokers or Ezra, Bioengineering PHD Candidate at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
one of the important lessons to learn about adult life is that the gap between an unemployed chainsmoker and a bioengineering phd candidate is actually not that large
My dude, I might not even want my businesses to run like a business, the way businesses have been run lately.
"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick
i immediately thought of this
I remembered that there were paintings of The Morningstar Family in the Hotel.
genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
Well played 🤝
Obsessed with this post
Still the favorite!
So I’ve been teaching 6th grade since January, and one thing about my female students which made me upset to realize is how many of them are obsessed with skincare. I've heard the girls in my class discussing the EYE CREAM they use. Like tf you mean eye cream? You're ELEVEN!!! I'm a decade older than you and have never even touched eye cream!! The most skincare a middle schooler needs is cleanser and moisturizer, maybe some acne cream. Who tf is selling you all this other stuff? Who tf told you you needed all this?
It hurts me to see. Their brains are too young for these types of insecurities 😭 no 11 year old girl should be obsessed with wrinkles, I wanna beat tf out of whatever tiktoker made them believe they needed skin that perfect
Do you know how fucking miserable it is to watch a group of 11 year old girls obsessively check their skin on pocket mirrors? And hear them talk about how they need new products to fix “imperfections” created by tiktok?? I just taught them last week what the OCEAN TIDES are. I helped one of them spell the word “conduction” yesterday. They just learned what the atmosphere is. Who the fuck is telling these literal children that they need eye cream??!! When I catch you!!!
Alastor's presentation.
This would be an absolute amazing way for Angel’s contract with Valentino to break.
And huskerdust points
Another Huskerdust doodle because I’m feeling romantical💖