• ❝ Put my laptop down and stop chewing on it! ❞
• ❝ Hail Satan! ❞
• ❝ I asked you to do the dishes four hours ago. ❞
• ❝ So you know how you talk in your sleep? Well last night you had a dream I was a three-headed llama, but despite that you still loved me. ❞
• ❝ Damnit the cat was in the washer again. ❞
• *hears children crying and screaming out in public* ❝ are you sure you want kids? ❞
• *hears children crying and screaming out in public* ❝ I can’t wait til we have kids. ❞
• ❝ You can’t ground our future children. ❞
• ❝ Of course I can ground our future children! ❞
• ❝ Normal couples go out, and have couple-friends, and do stuff… ❞
• ❝ We have never been a normal couple. ❞
• ❝ Baby, I will *never* feel ‘less manly’ if you ever make more money than I do. In fact, that would be awesome because then I wouldn’t have to work! ❞
• ❝ If you want me to get you that drink, you gotta actually let me up off the couch… ❞
• ❝ You call your car babydoll. You call your computer babydoll. You call me babydoll. I literally rank on the same level as your car and your computer. ❞
• ❝ No baby, you are way more important to me than my car and computer! ❞
• ❝ Who do you think is hotter: Captain America, Thor, or Star-Lord? ❞
• ❝ That is so unfair! You can’t make me pick between the Captain, Thor, or Star-Lord! I couldn’t possibly pick between one of the Chrises!❞
• ❝ I would totally bang Kiefer Sutherland. ❞
• ❝ Really? Of all the celebrities, you would bang Kiefer Sutherland? ❞
• ❝ Are you writing more gay porn? ❞
• ❝ What!? No I’m not writing more gay porn… ❞
• ❝ No you caNOT MAKE THE CAT FLY PUT THEM DOWN!!! ❞
• ❝ Wait- do you like… what do you call it? Ship those two characters? ❞
• ❝ Wait, which friend is that? ❞

• “Please, come with me.”
• “You’re always number one.”
• “I can’t do this.”
• “I won’t let you.”
• “Maybe I’m just crazy.”
• “I’m not even sorry.”
• “Honestly, just stop it.”
• “I believe in you.”
• “Don’t be an ass.”
• “Who were you with?”
• “Please talk to me.”
• “I can’t trust you.”
• “I need you, though.”
• “Don’t be fucking rude.”
• “Is that my shirt?”
• “So, it was you.”
• “I need to go.”
• “Just stay with me.”
• “You can trust me.”
• “Alright, I love you.”
• “I’m sorry, but no.”
• “Will you help me?”
• “You’re a terrible cook.”
• “Can you shut up!?”
• “You love me, right?”
• “I really need you.”
• “I don’t love you.”
• “I’m not doing this.”
• “I really need you.”
• “You don’t want me.”
• “Let me help you.”
• “You’re such a bitch.”
• “I can’t do this.”
• “You think you’re funny?”
• “Hey, I said stop!”
• “Will you marry me?”
• “Wanna go out sometime?”
• “I don’t want this.”
• “You always this quiet?”
• “Are you fucking insane!?”
• “I don’t want you.”
• “I’m not wearing that.”
• “Sorry, were you sleeping?”
• “This was never right.”
• “You look really tired.”
• “I’m out of here.”
• “You need to go.”

• “He loves me, he loves me not… oh.”
• “She loves me, she loves me not… oh.”
• “I don’t think it’s love…”
• “So, is there anyone you’re secretly crushing on?”
• “I don’t even like chocolate.”
• “Yeah, nothing says ‘I love you’ more than a bouquet that’ll die in two days…”
• “I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker… but at least they have good taste in gifts.”
• “Oh! It’s my favourite time of year.”
• “If I send a mass text to all the people I like, I don’t need to get all of them gifts do I?”
• “I’ve never had a Valentine.”
• “Will you be my Valentine?”
• “Do you have a Valentine yet?”
• “No one ever serenades me any more.”
• “Just don’t write a song and play it in front of everyone again… it’s embarrassing.”
• “Any secret admirers?”
• “Oh, so you’re my secret admirer?”
• “I may have been admiring you not so secretly.”
• “Just because you like me doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual.”
• “Seeing as we’ve both not got anyone, do you want to come to mine and watch a film?
• “We’re never getting back together.”
• “So, he got me a teddy bear, but we fought and he tore off it’s head.”
• “How about instead of being ridiculous on one day of the year, you just be a decent partner for the other 364 days?!”
• “We’re not together any more.”
• “If you haven’t booked a table we definitely won’t get to eat there on such short notice.”
• “It’s just Valentine’s day… I don’t see the big deal.”
• “What do you mean you didn’t get me anything?”
• “I’m feeling sick, is it okay if we arrange our date for another night?”
• “I’m not sure if they’re a secret admirer or a stalker….”
• “Well… they don’t know I’m going out with you so we’re going to have a girls night sitting in and cry about being single…”
• “I’ve got the lube and strawberries, we’re all set!”
• “I got out the whipped cream and she slammed the door in my face.”
• “I am not wearing that.”
• “When he said he would give me a pearl necklace, I thought I was getting actual jewelry.”
• “It would have been a lot more romantic if you de-thorned the rose before you put it in your mouth…”
• “I’m all for dressing up… but, how do you wear this?”
• “If I see another couple holding hands, I’ll… I’ll-”
• “Young love, isn’t it sweet?”
• “Who did you get all these roses for?”
• “I don’t love you, I’m just here for the chocolate.”
• “So, let me get this right, you want me to be a stand in to make the person you like jealous?”
• “Valentines? Pft!”
• “That’s the least romantic thing anyone has ever said to me…”
• “What are you doing? Why are you on one knee? Get up! Get up!”
• “My mum gave me a rose because she felt sorry for me.”
• “Look, you can buy me all the chocolates in the world, I still won’t go out with you.”
• “A diamond ring? I appreciate the offer… but don’t you think this is a bit… excessive?”

THE ULTIMATE HOLIDAY THEMED ASK MEME {part of: ❄ twenty-five days of elle} 

SEND ME A SYMBOL

▲: One of our muses tries to catch snowflakes on their tongue. ☾: Your muse asks for help decorating a gingerbread house. ♪: One of our muses inviting the other for a Christmas duet. ♦: Our muses wrap presents together. ☃: Our muses build a snowman together. ✈: Our muses travel somewhere for the holidays. ✎: My muse’s Christmas card to yours. ✘: My muse runs into your muse while trying to buy them a Christmas present.  ✆: My muse calls your muse while drunk on eggnog.  ツ: Our muses go caroling.  ✿: My muse gives your muse a Christmas present. ø: Our muses cuddle by the fireplace with hot cocoa.  ✌: Our muses argue over which Christmas movie to watch.  ♡: Our muses kiss under a mistletoe.  ♛: Our muses kiss at midnight on New Year’s.  ➸: Our muses decorate their house together. ♘: Our muses put up a Christmas tree and decorate it. ✰: My muse invites your muse to dance to Christmas songs. ☼: Our muses volunteer to help out for the holidays. ∞: Our muses go tree shopping. ❖: Our muses go ice skating together. ☁: Our muses go sledding.  ✉: Your muse hits mine with a snowball in order to start a snowball fight.  ϟ: Our muses bake Christmas cookies together. ↺: Our muses doing something holiday-themed with their kid(s).

SENTENCES

“Look! It’s snowing!” “Do we really have to leave cookies for Santa?” “Santa’s not real! There, I said it!” “Where do we hang the stockings if we don’t have a fireplace?” “You really don’t have to get me anything this year.” “Do we really have to go to your parents’ house for Christmas?” “Let’s just sit in our pajamas and watch Christmas movies all day.” “You’re gonna become huge if you keep eating all of Santa’s cookies.” “Oh, put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it.” “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.” “This is the worst Christmas ever.” “Is that mistletoe?” “You look cold. Here, take my scarf.” “I’m just not a fan of the holidays.” “You’ve had the Christmas radio on non-stop for five hours.”

TEXT MESSAGES

[text]: I just accidentally told our son/daughter that Santa isn’t real. [text]: The Christmas tree is on fire. [text]: So cold. Need cuddles. [text]: Christmas is a time to be honest, so this is it — I’m in love with you. [text]: I may or may not have eaten the entire gingerbread house we made two days ago. [text]: I just saw two people dressed as Santa fist fighting in a mall. Christmas is ruined! [text]: I’m may or may not be wearing mistletoe underwear. Wanna find out for sure? [text]: I made an oopsie and let’s just say we have over 500 candy canes in our apartment right now.  [text]: I can’t believe I have to spend Christmas Eve in a hospital.  [text]: So what if I made out with a guy dressed as Santa Claus?! I was drunk! [text]: I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken, but Merry Christmas. [text]: Just fought a 50 year old lady over a pair of gloves for my dad. He better be grateful, because she almost clawed my eyes out.  [text]: If I see one more picture on Instagram of a snowman with Frozen lyrics underneath, I’m gonna explode up in this bitch. 

Send one to my muse for their reaction

• “You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love.”
• “What do stars do? They shine.”
• “You want to grow up and get over yourself.”
• “Wait! How do I know you can be trusted?”
• “Have you not got it into your thick head yet? I’m not walking anywhere!”
• “You seriously think I could kill anyone?”
• “Do I look like I’m your mother?!”
• “Honey… you’re wearing a bathrobe.”
• “But of course! Nothing says “romance” like the gift of a kidnapped injured woman!”
• “You saved my life. Thank you.”
• “Ending up with my heart cut out - that will serve me right, will it?”
• “Look at me, I’m unarmed. Please!”
• “You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.”
• “Hold me tight and think of home.”
• “They’re going to kill us, aren’t they?”
• “I think I love you.”
• “Why would I want this? It’s just a measly handful of stardust.”
• “How do you know my… Who are you?”
• “Has excessive begging or pleading ever persuaded me to spare the life of a traitor?”
• “Can I see it? Is it beautiful?”
• “I don’t deal with time wasters.”
• “I could never have imagined an adventure this big in order to wish for it.”
• “Are you all right? Do you want some help?”
• “I think you’re in my bath.”
• “My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you.”
• “You’d better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog.”
• “There is someone following your tracks.”
• “Do you see anything non-human? No. And you know why? Because it’s a field!”
• “You look like the wrong end of a dog.”
• “Don’t you ever sleep?”
• “I’m not being silly. I’d do it. For you, I’d do anything.”
• “Oh, please, you’re not annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you?”

1. “Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile.”
2. “It reminded me of you.”
3. “No, no, it’s my treat.”
4. “Come here.  Let me fix it.”
5. “I’ll walk you home.”
6. “Have a good day at work.”
7. “I dreamt about you last night.”
8. “Take my seat.”
9. “I saved a piece for you.”
10. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
11. “You can have half.”
12. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”
13. “Sorry I’m late.”
14. “Can I have this dance?”
15. “I made your favourite.”
16. “It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
17. “Watch your step.”
18. “Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”
19. “Can I hold your hand?”
20. “You can borrow mine.”
21. “You might like this.”
22. “It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”
23. “I’ll wait.”
24. “Just because.”
25. “Look both ways.”
26. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”
27. “Try some.”
28. “Drive safely.”
29. “Well, what do you want to do?”
30. “One more chapter.”
31. “Don’t worry about me.”
32. “It looks good on you.”
33. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
34. “That’s okay, I bought two.”
35. “After you.”
36. “We’ll figure it out.”
37. “Can I kiss you?”
38. “I like your laugh.”
39. “Don’t cry.”
40. “I made this for you.”
41. “Go back to sleep.”
42. “Is this okay?”
43. “I picked these for you.”
44. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
45. “What do you want to watch?”
46. “You can go first.”
47. “Did you get my letter?”
48. “I’ll do it for you.”
49. “Call me when you get home.”
50. “I think you’re beautiful.”
51. “Are you sure?”
52. “Have fun.”
53. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”
54. “I made reservations.”
55. “I don’t mind.”
56. “It brings out your eyes.”
57. “There is enough room for both of us.”
58. “You don’t have to say anything.”
59. “Wow.”
60. “Happy birthday.”
61. “I’ll pick it up after work.”
62. “It can wait until tomorrow.”
63. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
64. “It’s two sugars, right?”
65. “I’ll help you study.”
66. “Stay over.”
67. “I did the dishes.”
68. “You didn’t have to ask.”
69. “I bought you a ticket.”
70. “You’re warm.”
71. “No reason.”
72. “I’ll meet you halfway.”
73. “Take mine.”
74. “We can share.”
75. “I was just thinking about you.”
76. “I want you to have this.”
77. “Call me if you need anything.”
78. “Do you want to come too?”
79. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”
80. “Is your seatbelt on?”
81. “Sweet dreams.”
82. “I was in the neighbourhood.”
83. “Stay there.  I’m coming to get you.”
84. “The key is under the mat.”
85. “It doesn’t bother me.”
86. “You’re important too.”
87. “I saved you a seat.”
88. “I’ll see you later.”
89. “I noticed.”
90. “You can tell me anything.”
91. “I hope you like it.”
92. “I want you to be happy.”
93. “I believe in you.”
94. “You can do it.”
95. “Good luck.”
96. “I brought you an umbrella.”
97. “I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
98. “Take a deep breath.”
99. “Be careful.”

1. “I love you.”