When you have to explain to the judge why opposing counsel deserves sanctions

https://openquotes.github.io/infographics/index.html#bsgqb6

Transcribed under cut!

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I found a company called “Frantic Meerkat” who makes journals whose sole purpose is to call me out

This is by the Mincing Mockingbird guy (of “I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip” and “The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math” fame) and you can buy them here

https://www.mincingmockingbird.com/collections/frantic-meerkat

I….I need all of them

This speaks to me on a fucking spiritual level.

When you’re in the middle of procrastinating and suddenly the Will to Work™ hits you

ME! + SOME similarities with musicals

theatre productions about teenagers be like: *puts 30 year old man in a hoodie*

then on the other hand you’ve got college theater

*puts a 19-year-old in a sweater vest* BEHOLD, A DAD

When you haven’t saved your file in awhile and suddenly the cursor freezes 

punctuation in work emails is the flower arranging language of our generation and nothing says FUCK YOU like replacing every exclamation mark with a cold hard period

I made some lil info pieces let me know what you think!

“I can’t fucking do this” - I mutter for the twentieth time as I continue to fucking do it

Full offense, but when lawyers talk about how their profession is still quite “traditional” or still a bit “conservative,” that is just code for “white, sexist, and very, very classist” 

Fun fact but when we are hiring new staff (clerks / articling students etc.), I am very clear that this is not an “old school” law firm. And I have worked very very very very very hard over the last four years to help my Senior Partner unlearn some of his problematic language choices (he is genuinely a very nice person, and like all of us, shitty behaviour is learned and can be unlearned) to make it even less “traditional” even at our highest person. 

When I was doing interviews for my first job, anytime someone said their firm was “traditional” I was ready to bolt out of the door. 

Coming Up With A “Super Strong” Rebuttal in Moot Court

My boss is lighting sage in the office to “get rid of all the bad spirits that keep bringing him crazy clients.”