@bananacracker33 / bananacracker33.tumblr.com
kill yourself lesbophobe
honey i haven’t posted on this blog in two years but this popped up in my email and gave me a good laugh so, here. i’ll bless you with the knowledge that i was raised by a lovely lesbian couple. genuinely thought it was the default until i was like ten. i knew people had dads i just thought that the dads would just keep visitation and get replaced with a butch from the gas station down the road like mine was
TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY
wow this is just a bad date in fiction
It’s the fucking Ides of March people. Todays the day Julius Caesar was stabbed like 23 times
DAY 15!!! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15!!!
Number 15 burger king foot lettuce
today is video games’s birthday.
Happy birthday videogames
May 2020 Illustrations ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ
Not sure who needs to see this, but if a Service Dog starts backing into you, pushing you away from their handler, or they sit down at a leash distance from their handler
You Should Move Away.
They are performing a task known as “spacing” or “blocking” that helps reduce or prevent anxiety in their handler.
They are NOT “asking for pets” or being disobedient or asking to be spoken to. All you have to do is stay back from the dog and handler.
This is not a capslock PSA because I’m not sure how many people that don’t have a SD actually know this is a trained task.
I did NOT know and this is both very cool that SDs can be trained for this, and very important that we all know how to respect it.
I did not know this, now I do. Passing it on.
🎤
the whole squad
Thanks I hate it: sarcastic disdain, you don't enjoy this at all that's insufferable, I love it: prankster solidarity. A compliment for mischief. You gotta try this dude, it sucks: solidarity through communal self-flagellation It's terrible, watch it immediately: Your classic so-bad-it's-good media
john mulaney is smack dab in the middle.
truly cannot stop thinking about this
“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma
and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND
I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody:
zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/
noun
ISN’T THAT AWESOME??
She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.
What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?
IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!
My high school English teacher always explained it with: “He took his hat and his leave.”
Omg this is great
every time…
Some Gremlin is best
omfg I can’t BELIEVE I hadn’t reblogged this adorable addition to my post yet. I love the balloon and the flower crown.
I love u Some Gremlin!
Me: writes entire separate storyline outside of canon for Some Gremlin
I saw this and just absolutely had to
I messed up the writing but HE’S SO CUTE
OH MY GOD he’s SO cute!?? This is amazing! I feel so honored that you liked my comic enough to make this precious creature.
Stokeley Carmichael knew/knows what’s up.
you have encountered a group of trilobites! reblog to help them on their journey
meirl
my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you
bruce wayne, incapable of not supporting children: good job out there today shazam. you should be proud
the rest of the justice league who don’t know about billy: what the FUCK is happening right now
I feel like it would be even funnier if Bruce didn’t actively know Shazam was a kid, but its just his dad instinct goes off whenever Shazam is around and even Bruce is kind of weirded out by it.
Batman: You need to be more careful out there Shazam, your look before you leap attitude is going to get someone hurt.
Shazam *Visibly pouting and looking glum* yes sir.
Batman: *Sigh* I can’t stay mad at you. Look, how about you hit the showers,, then we get some pizza for the watchtower. My treat. We can discuss strategy then.
Shazam: Sure thing Batman! Thanks. *flies off*
Green Lantern: Okay Bruce? The fuck is going on with you and that guy?
Batman: I DON’T. KNOW. Its like every time I see him I find myself planning a college fund for the guy.
Green Lantern: He’s like in his thirties right?
Batman: I think so? I mean I don’t really know anything about him outside of work. I think I may need to do some digging here Hal because this is starting to freak me out.
when i say “unfollow me if you support trump” im not saying it ironically. no, seriously, if you support trump then i dont want your disgraceful ass to be in any way associated with my blog. get out.
I saw screecaps of this going around and they do not capture just how much he was cracking up and y’all need to see it
