Carpe Noctem

they're always doing this shit

°˖✧ MASHLE SO2 OPENING ✦ BBBB Dance ✧˖°

Okay, so granted not all of these are dirty. They’re more corny/stupid. I still have 10 more to make then I am DONE! Which means a total of 40 LOTR Valentines.

@theopeninvite on Instagram

for context: I read the hobbit first over the course of two years when I was like 13, but I’m only now starting to read lotr. having a blast tho!

anyways, reblog if you feel like it 🙌🏻

Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn’t be in this mess

If AO3 had a slogan

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) "The Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors."

"i have to water the shitbird wait a minute"

"prosper stupid poultry"

Gotta briefly water the damn bird, wait a bit.

Flourish stupid feathered beast.

Germans use shit the way English speakers use damn or fucking, as an emphasizer. Sadly, they are of the opinion that we use shit in the same way, and will just stick it in all over the place, when contextually I have never met another English speaker who uses that particular expletive in that way. If you want to read something funny, Mark Twain on the German language is good. He comments on a similar phenomenon.

you better watch out. you better watch out. you better watch out. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT.

if anyone needs me i’ll be ripping the LED headlights out of every vehicle in the country

The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.

Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.

Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.

Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.

the crown s6a spoilers without context: