Why I hate writing director's notes.

this person spent $100 on this application

a person spent 100$ on this application and had the actual credentials to get in the school

God Bless America.

Bukowski’s Latest Book Isn’t About Women, Alcoholism, or Self-Loathing... It’s About Cats

“If you have a hundred cats, you’ll live 10 times longer than if you have 10,” wrote Charles Bukowski. “Someday this will be discovered, and people will have a thousand cats and live for ever.” The Guardian reports that publisher Canongate will bring together Bukowski’s previously unpublished musings on cats, aptly titled On Cats, for an October release this year. “We associate him with a kind of righteous, barfly-esque, dangerous, rock’n’roll way of life,” explains Canongate’s publishing director Francis Bickmore. “But there is a gentleness to his writing, and a love of pets, which we’re bringing out here.”

On Cats will follow the July release of a collection of previously unpublished Bukowski letters about the art of authorship — the also-aptly-titled On Writing.

IT’S ALMOST 1:00 AM AND I GOT THE BEST WRONG NUMBER TEXT EVER.

here, by request of more than one person:

so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails

This should be protocol everywhere

Today in the park I was walking my dog and there was this other girl walking her poodle. She was really pretty and very very nice. Our dogs played for a little while. And then her poodle squatted and pooped, and when she leaned down to pick it up a dude started yelling obscenities about how he’d like to put his dick in her ass.

She got up and literally threw the bag of warm poop at him.

It hit him in the face.

I got to witness that. This might be the best day of my life. 

how are people so worried about false rape accusations ruining people’s lives when true rape accusations don’t even ruin people’s lives

they teach theatre kids how to project their voices but they don’t teach em how to shuT THE FUCK UP

okay when I direct hamlet I know exactly what I want in the opening scenes

the audience will be in traverse. when they come in hamlet will be sitting in his designated seat, on his phone. audience comes in, house lights down, stage lights up, hamlet is still on his phone. audience to either side confused, maybe annoyed like ‘who does this guy think he is smh smh’. opening battlements scene happens, hamlet pays no attention, doesn’t draw attention to himself, just sits in the audience, probably reading cracked.

end of scene one, start of scene two. claudius gertrude et al enter, take their place up on the raised stage at one end of the traverse. hamlet looks up, takes note, puts away phone. claudius starts his big long speech. hamlet pulls out bag of doritos and very loudly opens them. claudius pretends not to notice as hamlet loudly eats doritos while he tries to do his big diplomatic speech. gertrude is very embarrassed. hamlet is being a little shit. probably annoys audience to either side - offers them a chip, nudges them so he can roll his eyes at something claudius says to them, etc. claudius finishes with laertes, turns to address hamlet. ‘and now our cousin hamlet, and our son (and lil shit I s2g if I didn’t love your mother)’. hamlet addresses his first line (‘a little more than kin and less than kind’) to his neighbour in the audience. not until gertrude suggests that it only ‘seems’ with him does he drop his doritos, stand up, and address his mother. once he’s done with his ‘I know not seems’ speech, he’s embarrassed and angry at having shown such emotion, and sits angrily back down in the audience. he doesn’t get up until partway through ‘too too solid flesh’, which he starts off addressing to his neighbours

(photo via jaytee2400)

omg

it never occurred to me that snails have mouths.

I ball every single day of my life

Coping strategy for when you are trapped in conversations with obnoxious people:

1. Pick a spot nearby, around eye level, preferably a small object. That is now the camera. 2. When they say something you just cannot stand, look directly into the camera like you’re on The Office 3. Repeat as often as needed

i feel that if I scroll past this and don’t reblog it the snail is going to look to the ground and cry

that comment

im sold

gotta do it now

this is my favourite thing