here’s some caps of stanley tucci crying with laughter after being asked what wine pairs best with eating ass 

The face of a man who knows the answer but doesn’t want to say it

does anyone else ever click on an obvious rickroll because youre like yknow what yeah i do wanna listen to never gonna give you up by rick astley right now

ALWAYS ITS THE BEST SONG

Barn is reopening next week... But we can only come during pre-determined time slots of max 2 hours. And we have to register in advance on a weekly Google doc schedule. And it's limited to max 4 people per time slot.

Imma telling you this is a bloodshed, everyone is battling for the end-of-day time slots (because work hours)..... They didn't even email or text us, they put the info up on Facebook... By some miracle I checked their page tonight and saw it less than an hour after they put it up...

There was already 15 people on the Google doc, lemme say I panicked and like a bitch I took any slot I could 😬 may be feeling slightly guilty as some people won't get any slots at all.... anyway, we'll see how it pans out, I'm ready to give up 1 or 2 slots if needed

How big is your barn?

The one I work at has been doing staggered trips so no one is in the cross-ties together or in the tackroom together and if someone is in the outdoor you go in the indoor but the facility itself is large enough that it's not a problem to have more than one boarder there at a time. Benefits of a sales barn though is that there's only a small handful of boarders anyway.

My barn I board at isn't doing any staggered schedules but also so far I've only ever been there when it's just the barn owner and her family around. I met one boarder briefly when I dropped equipment off last week. It's also a small facility so I think a schedule could be accommodated if need be... But also seems like not a lot of frequent riders (at least not when I've been there in the middle of the weekday 😂).

We have been doing the time slots for weeks now. We submit our times to the barn manager and she sends an excel sheet every week. She also manages if there are time conflicts. We are not that many people, maybe 20 or so; so it works out well and I got used to it quickly. I have 3 slots per week and that’s fine

It’s stuff like this that really makes me appreciate humanity as a whole

Colonels Lone Gun

(x)

WEG Endurance debacle

via:  Patrick G McGaughan

THE GREAT RACE GOES OFF THE RAILS

Of course, with all the events of the day today, many of you are screaming at me for burying the lede. The big story of today is that after 100 km of endurance racing, we will crown no world champion here at Tryon. After dinner we cornered a young Englishman who worked with a middle eastern country’s endurance squad and got the whole story and it’s a doozy.

The endurance race got off to an epicly bad start when FEI officials sent the field or a portion of the field in the wrong direction. That, apparently, has never happened before. Of course it begs the question - how is it that riders do not know which direction to ride in after someone yells “on your mark, get set, GO!” I guess someone official looking pointed right instead of left and no one mounted said to themselves “Wait. What?”

After a tearful meeting with massive apologies from the FEI officials in charge, the entire field had to be collected at the first vet stop, regrouped and restarted. By that time however, several competitors had already been eliminated for lameness, including a Prince from the UAE, the son of a Sheik who had financed a large portion of the event. (I will leave it to others braver than myself to detail the story of the “Sheik Shack in shambles”.)

Oh but wait, there’s more.

Apparently, the endurance competition may have been too much for the horses once the sun came back out and many of the quickest horses were not doing well. Indeed, many of the favorites from the middle eastern countries did not look likely to complete, leaving the ultimate championship within reach of smaller countries within the sport.

Not satisfied with the directional start debacle, FEI officials said “here, hold my beer, watch this.” And did something that will live in infamy. With the leading horses not looking good and heat and humidity a problem, the ground jury decided to abandon the competition and call it a day. Yes that’s right, the race was “abandoned.” The official reason given was that after the mid day deluge, the weather was just too hot and humid to let them finish. And to be clear, this has never happened before either.

Predictably, having their chances at a world championship title taken away because of weather made people who had been going well quite angry. What would you do if you had flown to Tryon ahead of a hurricaine just to have the race abandoned two thirds of the way through because a bunch of guys were riding too hard?

Well what happened next will make Tryon go down in history for all time. I don’t have all the details but it includes competitors becoming violent, destroying the vet enclosure, a Frenchman cold cocking an FEI official then getting arrested by policemen who had been called to protect the officials from the angry mob, the appearance of the remaining French team challenging the police and trying to free their teammate (swooping in mounted like Knights of the Round table but, you know, French), an angry mob empowered by the spectacle of Frenchmen on horseback advancing on police oppressors like a scene from Les Miz, then the Brazilian and Spanish contingent joining in like it was the crusades … it was in a word biblical.

I am not sure I have all the facts straight. What I learned is all second hand and I have been known to embellish a good story. But it is true that endurance will have no champion this year. I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask why the officials couldn’t find a way to crown a winner. It is what they came here to do after all. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the endurance race at this World Equestrian Games will forever be known as the Great Goat F$#@ of Tryon 2018.

What the actual fuck.

The way this is written is giving me life lmao

LOL What the fuck?!?

Hello tumblr! I need your help today.

I’ve been volunteering at a horse rescue in Hudson, Quebec called A Horse Tale for about a year and a half. It’s an absolutely amazing place. We take in elderly and unwanted/neglected horses and give them a safe home to live out their retirement in peace. Being involved there has helped me, too, giving me a sense of belonging and purpose when I had none otherwise. And I know other volunteers feel the same. But we need help!

Every summer we run a fundraiser to buy hay, which is our largest expense. We have eleven horses, three of whom are retired carriage horses and they go through a bale a day /each/. So it’s basically our most important fundraiser!

Unfortunately, the response to our fundraiser this year has been super limited. We’re three weeks in and less than one fifth of the way to our goal. By comparison, last year we were ¾ of the way to our goal in a week, largely thanks to amazing support from tumblr folks.

If this fundraiser is unsuccessful, we’ll have to use emergency vet/repair funds just to keep our horses fed, which is not a great precedent to set and which could lead to struggling to afford vet care down the road. A huge problem when you have a lot of elderly horses with health issues!

Purchasing a bale of hay only costs $5CAD (around $3.75USD) and if we get even close to the support we got last year I know we’ll be okay.

Please please consider helping this amazing place by buying a bale of hay or sharing this post, I would be hugely grateful! The page to purchase hay is here: ahtrescue.org/en/helpfeedtheherd/

Thank you for reading if you got this far! And thank you too from Chocolate, Zephyr, Jack, Balou, Buddy, Rocky, Smooch, Ulysses, Blanco, Saari, and Danny! Your support means the world to them!

Ps, if you’d like to follow the goings-on at the barn, our official tumblr is @ahorsetalerescue

❤️🐎

Schimmel and me say hi from Germany and we just donated 8 bales.

This just in: I have the coolest horse and the coolest friends

Happy Lupine Day y’all

I have a lot of purple on my horse 

2018 Kentucky 3-Day Event | via Facebook

Michael Jung and ROCANA : 27.1pts (72,93%)

Yaaas stretchy canter 🙌

Every time these two step into an arena I’m stunned. They are always outdoing themselves.

My king and queen ❤

Don’t feed your horses treats like I do, kids

rush is a dork but I love him

but this is the best way to do it 

AL Zanadik

Damir El Shaklan x Zarba 

Arabian, Stallion

15.1hh

Born 2002

honestly the picture with the western saddle and the double bridle is abslute tack + riding skill goals for me!!

So I have a rant about my boss(yes again) and one of her horses.  So this horse is turning 6 in April, he was born at my work, has been handled since the minute he was born, he should have good ground manners right? Especially since we’re a lesson barn and have little kid running all over the place. Wrong. His ground manners are bad, like bad, he won’t stand still next to you, he jerks on the rope, dives for grass, will try to bite/kick other horses when leading, bangs into you with his body, he will bang and push you with his chest/shoulder to get you to move, tries to hit you with his head, will step on your foot and not get off, will try and push out of gates, and once reared while I was leading him. He’s a complete asshat. He doesn’t do all these things all the time, but he will do them and often, he is only 14.1hh, but still. Now  if this was almost any other horse my boss wouldn’t let this kind of behavior go on, but he’s her “baby” so can do almost no wrong.  The other day I had taken him and two other horses out to the dry lot pasture, its very muddy around the gate thanks to all the rain we’ve had, so we open the gate the outside enough for one horse to go through un-halter them with them on one side of the gate and us on the other so we can stay out of the 6″ mud. Well since I had three horses and only two hands I let my horse go and he went to the side to eat the imagery grass, but was still holding the other two, I let the first one go no problem, then I go to put asshat in the pasture, I lined him up right in front of the gate opening, but we were about 2 ½ feet away from the gate so there was a 2 ½ foot gap between me and the end of the gate with my horse hanging out off to the side, well asshat decides that he doesn’t want to go into the pasture he wants to go to my horse. So at the same second I start leading him forwards he goes for the gap between me and the gate banging into me pushing me out of the way, stepping and pivoting on my foot, he got off it a second later but it still wasn’t fun. And I have to say I’m not pound of it but I did go off on his ass, he knows better, he knows he can’t get away with that shit with me and my coworker. And I mean what if a kid had been next to the gate?  Say with I will about him but he did walk into the pasture the next time without a problem.  I just can’t stand horses with no ground manners, they are my biggest pet peeve. And I can’t stand that my boss lets him act like that.

this is so bad. It also seems to be so common for people just to be like “oh well what’ya gonna do about it?” I have had several people come out and try my horse for a partial lease. ALL of them were like... ok... but does he rear / kick / push against you when you lead him? Can you brush him OK? Like... they really asked this because that was their standard experience with horses so far? I’m like lmao helll nooooo I won’t stand for that. I’m highly pregnant in the meantime but I still can handle him no problem, I walk him, I lunge and do in-hand work. It would never even appear to me he could run me over or something, not even when he spooks. 

oy shoutout to another nice grey Arabian I found <3