Jambo Juice Goblin

If you're the person in your friend group who initiates conversations 90-100% of the time, it can feel tempting sometimes to just stop contacting people to see if they will reach out, and therefore if they actually like you or if you are inflicting yourself on them. The problem with this is there are multiple flaws that can't be overcome in this type of test, including the fact that if you always reach out and suddenly don't, people will assume you're busy rather than that you want them to reach out, or just the fact that some people genuinely enjoy your company but hate or are terrible at remembering to reach out. So basically don't immediately assume that silence always equals disinterest or disdain; that's your own hangups talking, not the people you care about.

Just curious about everyone’s thoughts on this as I’ve been thinking about urban wildlife a lot lately

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

Song is Hidden Wave by Soshi Takeda. I don’t remember who reposted this dog video onto to Tumblr, but I replaced the music with this because the original version I saw had this really annoying music playing over it.

Going to the function and trying to impress everyone by correctly identifying all the planes flying over, i misidentify a 777 as an a330 and have to leave and cry in the car for 8 minutes then come back pretending to be my own twin

💯🙏💛🟨👍

Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is

Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis

sorry your boyfriend was so tormented victorian waif we diagnosed him with female hysteria and sent him to the seaside for his health. as if it's our fault

aquarium outfit inspo

i just had a vivid that's so raven vision of this absolute fish bandit serving cunt in the shedd aquarium

i haven’t stopped thinking about this since last night

you can literally never go wrong with having diners in your story regardless of its genre. like they're false beacons of hope, they're safe havens for the lost and unwanted, they exist as a bridge between worlds, they're haunted by the memories of all the people who have been there before, they're both cozy and eerie, and they're literally always there. every town has a diner. every town knows what those flickering red lights mean. and stories about diners never fail to fuck severely.

just occurred to me that there are adults who’ve never been to a funeral. an incredibly bizarre concept to me

alright folks when did you go to your first funeral? (i was 4)

I could not be more bored of women characters who are dangerous in a competent, sexy, luminous makeup and blow-dried hairstyle kind of way. I am so tired of all these dry-clean-only girlbosses strutting their way into stories. “Oh she’s so beautiful AND so good at martial arts and so clever and seductive” No! Get that outta here!! Give me more women who are dangerous in a real grungy way, like rusted metal with a sharp edge. Girls who make you glad you’ve had your tetanus shot. Girls who cut their own hair and get bad tattoos. Girls who are as charming as a wet feral cat. Girls who might be clever enough to Play The Game but would rather flip over the chess board and punch you in the throat. I demand more horrible unpleasant women!! Thank you.

YES this too please. Absolutely. Dumb butch rights. Diversity win

no, I’m sorry. “The unhygenic thing” is not opt-out for the kind of women I want more of. Fictional girls almost never get to be gross! When I said grungy, I meant grungy. She’s in yesterday’s makeup (if she wears any) and yesterday’s outfit. She smells like stale cigarette smoke. She smells like weed. She smells like gasoline and workshop grease. She smells like she’s found a nice dead thing to roll in. She lives in a one-room apartment surrounded by computer equipment and empty styrofoam takeout containers. She lives deep in a swamp in a cabin full of centipedes and spiders. She lives in a cave. She lives on a pirate ship. She chews off her nail polish, she goes dumpster-diving, she eats dry instant ramen crushed up in the bag like it’s chips, she eats bugs off the ground, she eats raw meat. In all of her many variations, human or not, to some degree or another, she is gross!! Thank you again.

THEY ARE HAVING SEX

IN THE REPLIES

It's Wet Beast Wednesday

cmon kid... we've gotta go save Wet Beast Wednesday.... TWO!