Saving your strength seems like the best option. Oh hellz yes. Sounds like a comic book waiting to happen. 

The adventures of quiet boy and antisocial girl, saving their own asses by being still and avoiding all human interactions one day at a time. I’d definitely read that comic book. Though oh god “hellz yes”. What are you a twelve year old girl?

I don’t think I’m odd but I guess I can work with it. Ah, Im not sure- a french selection? It was packed by my Dads for the trip here and I didn’t know until I opened my bag properly. I know it’s cheese though- if you know a guy with crackers then we can call this a party. Take your mind off tomorrow, babe, and maybe it’ll be easier to deal with?

I mean I guess its a compliment, or at least there are definitely worse things you could be called. Gotcha, not that I actually know jack shit about cheese, but I trust your dads to have good taste. Though tragically I’ve yet to find a cracker guy in this god forsaken place. And watch yourself Andy, despite the nice gesture we are so not on babe terms yet. It’s Eliza. 

It’s every slave for themselves, I guess. Seems a good strategy, not stepping on anyone’s toes. We should combine powers to become invisible.

Looks like it. But yeah, I mean as sick as I’m sure my fighting skills are, I’m not really looking to test it out tonight. We should though, it’ll be great. We’ll be the most silent and antisocial superhero duo of all time.

Introduce yourselves

What makes you say that toastmuffin?

Well I don’t see anyone else claiming the title, so I’ve decided to do the honor of appointing it to myself. Though toastmuffin...thats an interesting one.

Introduce yourselves

If I haven’t met you, I want to.

Eliza Anderson, the pride and joy of Wells P. Wuddup.

Solid plan, solid plan. Not all of ‘em are bad, but if I’ve got to hear one more thing about Barbra Streisand I might have to murder Babs. I hope no one really pisses, that will fuckin’ stank up the joint. I worry about that little guy sometimes, he’s my fuckin’ teddy bear and they’ve got ya’ll up there waitin’ for the hammer to fall. Fucked up. I guess it’s part of the look, but it really adds nothing to the sexual times of the adventure.

Yes. I bet they had the fuckin’ time of their lives out there though. I’ve got you. You’ll be fine. I’m from the top of Canada, it’ll be like another hunt.

Yeah I don’t think I’d handle that as kindly, but try not to kill her. That’d probably be bad. And I swear if someone actually pisses themselves in here I’m going to lose it. I can handle the yelling, the literal fighting, and the freaking out but if someone pees their pants I’m done. So do I, he deserves so much better than all this shit. Well I just don’t see the point then. If its not actually adding to the sex in any way then why bother.

You know, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you sound a little butt hurt about their little sexcapade, Syd. And ooh, a Lacrosse player and a hunter. I’ve got high expectations now. 

Master Alec says he’s good at mazes and that I shouldn’t worry. Who are you partnered with? You’re more than welcome to cuddle my bear at anytime, little sister. I love you.

Well then even more reason not to worry. With Alec the maze master looking for you I’m sure you’ll be the first one out of there tomorrow. Sydney Karofsky. If you hadn’t just offered me unlimited cuddle time with your bear I’d so bitch and whine about that little sister nonsense, but I’ll hold back just this once. Love you too, J.

I don’t disappoint. I’m a Karofsky. If you see the purple cape start yelling if ya can, I’ll follow that. I’ve got a guest room and a roommate that signs nothing but showtunes. You’re a big girl, but if you’re feeling some type of way my offer will always stand. Literally everyone. It’s not like when the Fabray’s had their punishment party. I can’t imagine how some of the fragile children are feeling. Is your brother, Jonas, alright? I can get down with some petplay but I prefer havin’ a slave with a tail as apposed to ears.

I must have missed that bit in between the whole I’ve got to punish Riley twice and I’mma get my life wrecked if I don’t find you.

That’s what I like to hear. Sounds good though, the second I see even a glimpse of purple I’ll start screaming my head off. Ouch, showtunes? Do you have a perpetual headache from that? And well I’ve got my big girl rep to uphold... but I’ll keep that in mind. The fragile children all look like they’re on the verge of pissing their pants, it ain’t a pretty sight. Jonas is...panicking, but I’m working on it. Exactly, I can see how a tail could be fun, but the ears are just lost on me.

Understable. Riley’s the chic I’ve got to thank for this lovely event tomorrow, yeah? And well, just find me fast. I’m really not tryna drown for two hours and then proceed to get my life wrecked after. No pressure or anything though.

I’m scared, Eliza. Can I stay with you tonight? I’ll let you cuddle the teddy bear Master Mac bought me in the city.

Don’t be, everything is going to be fine, but of course you can. And deal, I do love a good teddy bear cuddle sesh.

It was to make you feel better in the short term- how does being angry or whining about it make the hypothetical drowning better? I beg to differ have you ever heard of blood sugar? Eating cheese is a great activity! Or… y’know, you can continue to be anxious about it even though you can’t do anything about it anyway- your choice.

I...it...okay fine, I don’t know, but it seems like a more logical reaction than wanting to binge eat cheese. Yes, I have heard of blood sugar, though I can’t say I’ve ever researched the effects of cheese on it. A great activity? You’re kind of odd, has anyone ever told you that? ...But fine, what kind of cheeses are we taking about.

Legal? Probably not, but I doubt anyone’s gonna come and stop them. It’ll be fine though, Jonas. Alec is going to find you in no time, I’m sure he will.

If you change you’re mind let me know after I save you, purple cape and all. Runnin’ away is fucked but punishing literally everyone just seems like a good excuse to get your rocks off. Headmaster Sylvester seems like a cool dude but I think he’s gettin’ antsy or some shit. I shall become the wind.

Wait, naked? Yes, that works.

If you don’t show up wearing a purple cape I am going to be severely disappointed, I hope you know that. And I’ll be fine...but uh, thanks for the offer. Yeah running was a pretty fucking idiotic plan, not that I really blame them for trying, but punishing everyone seems a bit excessive. All the goody two shoes must be on the verge of an aneurysm right about now. The boss man is a little too quick to dole out punishments and a little too into the chic with the cat ear obsession to be a “cool dude” in my book, but to each their own I suppose.

And yep. The whole “stripped and marched into the maze” thing kinda implies naked.

I refuse to sit too near anyone for fear of getting my eyes gouged out.

Well with that strategy you might just be the only one to make it out of here alive. I’m just hoping if I sit still enough and keep my mouth shut long enough I can avoid all the punching and bitch fits going on down here.

You’re sounding pretty anxious- I have a variety of cheeses or a vague knowledge of massage but that’s really all I’ve got to offer you aside from sitting while you stress out- which I don’t recommend.

...What. I’m sorry but how the fuck is cheese supposed to make the hypothetical drowning any better? Maybe if you said you had an abundance of wine it’d be a different story, but I don’t think a variety of cheeses have ever once made anyone feel better about anything.

If only, man, if only.