Do you ever think you know a person to their very core and then find out that they're nothing but just like every other person you've been with before? Do you ever look in the mirror and think to yourself that you did it again, fell for the wrong person at the wrong time when you really really shouldn't have? Do you ever fall so hopelessly in love only to have it turn to shit?

Well, I can tell you that that's happened to me so many times now that it's not funny. I trusted someone with every part of me and he destroyed that. I was finally getting better and then things went bad with my family and he bailed. I got angry, people do that, and he broke me when I needed him the most. 

The best part of it is, he'd promised me that he'd never hurt me and it turned out that he was a liar. He lied. He abused, just as bad as I'd had done to me in the past. In some ways he was worse than the others. How could he ask me to marry him and then leave me when my life was falling apart? 

In some ways, I'm thankful that I never got to walk down that aisle. That I never got to say those vows, because I know things about him that should have made me realize the depth of his character from day one. I know now that when I hear of incest in a wistful way, I'll run in the opposite direction. When another man mentions that he used to get off to underage girls, I'll know that I need to walk in the other direction as quickly as possible and call the cops to report his sorry ass. I'll know that when he threatens suicide I should just tell him to do it, because he's just attempting to manipulate me and I'm no one's plaything. 

Because I won't keep these types of secrets anymore. I refuse to let myself fall into another one of these situations. 

I may not be the best partner, but I know now that I deserve so much more than I ever got. I deserve more than you ever gave me.

So Tumblr, I'm saying goodbye and venting because you know what? I deserved better and I can't believe I fell into the trap of another abusive relationship. I can't be on the same site where I met him anymore, but that's not the only reason I'm leaving you behind. You were a good place to speak out and stand up for stuff I believed in, but ultimately it got too much for me to handle. You were a good place for me to meet some really great people, but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at you the way I did before. 

So, have a good life, followers. I'm really glad to have met some of you and I hope that your lives are productive and happy ones. If you ever want to want to talk to me, my email is spectreantihero@gmail.com. I know this rant isn't exactly the best note to leave on, but I needed to get it out there. Sometimes, the best way to heal and move on is to let the hurt out. 

From today onward, I won't cry anymore tears over someone who isn't worth a second thought. I'm letting go and doing something with my life and I'm going to do it in a way that this whole debacle is just something I can laugh about in the future.