Listen I was so heartbroken when Ten left and I love David Tennant and would be so happy to see him as The Doctor again, but I don’t know if I can take watching him leave again! It’d be great if he didn’t “die” but rather decided that he’d done what he needed and simply chose to regenerate, no trauma at all. Maybe I’ll wait to see what happens.
Wake up babes a new Doctor Who trailer just dropped
September 18, 1975.
I’m doing something that should have been done at least 20 years ago. I’m trying to get myself on some antidepressants.
So much of my depression revolves around missing people. I’ve had friends who meant the world to me just completely ghost me when I moved away. I lost my best friend, my dad, to cancer in my late twenties. I’ve never gotten over it. I turned a lot of that grief into self hatred. Which is a different type of cancer.
I’ve known I need antidepressants for more than half my life. The problem with getting them has been anxiety, maybe some trauma. I don’t go to the doctor enough. When I finally got a job with health insurance and got a primary are physician, I did try to get help with mental health. Well, I indicated problems with depression and anxiety in my paperwork. But my anxiety kept me from really raising the issue vocally and asking for help. I was prescribed a super low dose of anxiety medication when I had an actual panic attack in the doctor’s office during the pandemic, but they didn’t help and I stopped taking them.
It’s been a rough summer. I’m broke because of some house disasters. It reminded me of the last time I was seriously financially stressed (jobless and on the verge of homeless and having student loan payments due) and how close I came to making plans. I’m not in that head space anymore but I’ve been feeling really low.
So, what’s a person to do if anxiety is such a block that they can’t speak out to get help?
This morning, I signed up for Nurx, a telemedicine app. I don’t know what will happen. The first time filling out the survey, I was notified that they couldn’t help. I tried again using a different email address. I think they have a policy not to prescribe to anyone with suicidal ideation. I don’t have that, really. I did when I was a teen, so 25 years ago, and I think being honest about that set off red flags. I’m hoping they don’t realize that I just changed my answers and used a different email address. Maybe, if I get some medication to take the edge off, I’ll be able to make steps to get into some form of therapy. I really wish there were more options for text-based treatments. I can’t be the only one out there who really needs some mental health care but can’t bring themselves to have face-to-face conversations about it.
Anyway, I felt happy for about 30 minutes after taking action but now I’m just sad and anxious. I feel like the majority of big life choices I’ve made have been mistakes. I regret…pretty much everything. The friends I chose. The schools I picked. The career I went into. The ways I failed my family. The weight I put on. The financial choices I’ve made. I’m not sure Zoloft or whatever will help me with that regret. It’s too big. But if it could make any of that seem less a catastrophe, that’d be nice.
So, we’ll see. I’m thankful that telemedicine is even a thing, even if it doesn’t work out for me. I wish more doctors would offer it, or even have online appointment systems for people who get so anxious about making phone calls that they just…don’t.
#my new favorite dynamic this season
Ok but look at him openly acknowledging that, yes, he’s doing good. Feeling free enough to openly do what comes naturally to him - protecting humans from the machinations of both Heaven and Hell when he sees needless suffering. Thinking Aziraphale is finally in a place where he can do the same.
Listen/purchase: Glitchscape by V
So if anyone is interested in instrumental music featuring harp, synths, effect pedals, etc. please consider downloading my album from bandcamp. It’s set to pay what you want with no minimum. No pressure to spend any money on it, but it’d do my heart some good if a few people download it at least. And if you find that it floats your boat, you might like my youtube channel (drtoodlepip) where my new year’s resolution was to post one music video a day (typically using vintage animation).
Cat NO likey!
ALL THESE CATS ARE LITERALLY: “bitch what the fuck” LAHSLAJSOS
These cats all passed the mirror test and I think that’s impressive
Mr Simm, this blog is for you.
Happy birthday, you frustratingly wonderful man.
oh my god i forgot i made this
The responses to this stupid poll are interesting. FYI they limit the length of each entry, at least when I made this on a mobile device. I mention because option 2 initially mentioned peepholes. I just assumed that, based on the wording, people would understand that a) someone = stranger and that b) hide = pretending you’re not home (versus literally hiding in the closet).
Clearly, there are a lot of variables that would impact your answer to this question. SO many people are either saying “check the damn peephole” or making fun of the hide option. Well, it can be easy to tell if someone is home if that person peeks out the window or looks through a peephole. If you’re not just being shy but rather worried about security, that might not be the best option. And to the people mocking the “hide” option, it must be nice to not have to consider security, but not everyone has that option. It’d be interesting to see how neighborhood crime rates / gender of the respondents / time of day, etc. impacted answers.
I’ll confess to being in the “hide” category sometimes, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I’m not fit to be seen. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with corralling my dogs first. When I lived in dangerous neighborhoods, I never opened the door to a stranger because I live alone and wouldn’t be able to defend myself. Even now, when I live in a quieter suburb, I do occasionally hide. As an example, I recently sustained a major back injury. I had to mention it to someone who came out to do work on my house. He made a few suggestive comments later that visit that made me a bit uncomfortable. The next day, there was an unexpected knock on my door. I could look out the window to my garage to see an unknown personal vehicle in my driveway. I suddenly had the thought that there was a man that knows I live alone and knows that I have temporary mobility issues, so yes. I hid. That’s not always my answer, though. There are too many variables to make this a valid poll. But maybe people making fun of the hiding option should…stop.
What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what
do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?
ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed
What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)
Happy pride month from your friendly neighborhood ace! 🖤🤍💜
Dang, the Ted Lasso tag is way too full of vitriol. I get being sad or disappointed because of the finale (or maybe even the entire season), but so many shitty personal attacks. Like, the cognitive dissonance of being a fan of a show that promotes kindness, lack of ego, curiosity, being open minded, etc. to “die Jason Sudeikis” is mind blowing. And more disappointing than the finale, to be honest.
I guess it’s time to take a break from related posts. I’m not here for people being casually cruel. Why can’t this fandom be better?
