"most allegedly haunted houses turn out to have gas leaks!"

no they don't. you are merely skimming the surface of mundane shit that can be wrong with old houses with your one puny little explanation that only fits a very small number of cases. try harder

They should bring back paranormal home inspectors because it is fascinating the amount of spooky happenings they resolved with one surveyor and his clipboard

not surprising AT ALL

as I said in the tags, I believe in ghosts! wholeheartedly! I believe I've had weird experiences that can't be explained any other way!

but

I work with/in old buildings professionally

they are the most temperamental, bizarre beasts you can ever imagine. the number of things that can make strange sounds, drafts, smells, or even motion in an old building are insane. like yeah, maybe you saw a ghost! or maybe you had a gas leak!

but to assume it must be one of those two things is to ignore the vast smorgasbord of Obnoxious Stuff Old Houses Do

Tell me more about the Obnoxious Stuff Old Houses Do.

[cracks knuckles]

now like I said, things I can't explain away have happened to me. "I heard the staff door open and close, complete with motion sensor ding, and footsteps moving around the room it leads into- and also my coworker heard it too, from a completely different area of the house -but nobody was there and there are no other exits from that space" can hardly be chalked up to dust in that sensor

but a LOT of weirdness can

Ohhhh, we had black mold and, uh. Definitely affects the health, can cause hallucinations, just Very Not Good. Spores cause breathing problems too so there's that.

And though there are 'mold killing' chemicals, take this advice my contractor dad gave me: "If it gets wet, it's alive again. The only reliable way to get rid of black mold is to remove anything it's on."

I've been collecting these for a few weeks and I NEED MORE

idk if Tumblr will keep the boops going after today, but through the power of discord emoji, you can boop your friends in a server. or idk, paste them in someone's askbox.

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

billie lurk post on r/family after the knife of dunwall

post by u/dreadfulwhale

I (24F) am in a weird space with my father (42M). He runs a sort freelancing company and I worked for him as his right hand man. It was understood between us that I would take over one day (never explicitly stated but neither of us are big talkers). We had a job a few months back that he's been pretty torn up over (unusual for him) and I figured he was losing it, so I made a deal with one of his business competitors that I would slit his throat and take charge of the company through a hostile takeover. Well he turned out to be pretty strong for an old man and when it became clear that it wouldnt work I confessed everything. He's been in a weird mood lately so he didnt kill me (I wasnt totally off base wrt his mental state) and just told me to leave town. Im currently on a boat out of here but does anyone have any advice as to how I could make things less awkward? Would going back to kill my dad help our relationship? Or should I just let someone else do it?

[AN: The type of freelancing does not matter. And no 'slit his throat' is not a euphemism for something else. Me killing my dad has always been understood between us as the right move for our relationship to take one day, that's not the problem. I just misjudged the timing.]

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.

How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself

There was a video about the lack of available jobs in Appalachia and the comments from non-Appalachians were fucking abysmal. It’s crazy that like 150 years later there are still people thinking “I should open up a toxic poorly managed industrial park in Appalachia since those stupid hillbilly fucks are probably willing to do exploitative work I wouldn’t ask my neighbors to do.”

“Walmart ruined our small town.” “Wow, that’s crazy. I think we should blow up that mountain and put an Amazon fulfillment center right there.”

Oh my god this story on Ask A Manager’s request for Machiavellian triumphs at work

"Japanese media is just so perverted towards teenagers :/" there's an entire genre of american tv dramas where teenagers having sex will be a major focus. Dan Schneider exists. there was a massive community of people in the 00s who had a countdown to Emma Watson turning 18 so it would be "okay" to sexualize her. what makes you think this is a problem with Japan specifically. why are you singling out Japanese media here?

there is a time and place to talk about the way that anime is sexualized, and there is a proper way to go about it, but conversations discussing racism against Japanese people is not the place for that, and framing it as "an issue with Japanese people/culture" is not the way to go about it

hey. what do a selkie and a ziploc bag have in common

resealable

(Sigh)

(Reblog)

A cartoon from 1914 that could have been written today

A reminder that if you’re struggling to pay rent, buy food, working multiple jobs or more than 40 hours a week, capitalism is working just at is intended to.

i have connected the dots…

“you didn’t connect shit”

I’ve connected them

i so fucking smart

my mom said to me “have you ever noticed that bugs bunny and hawkeye wear the same thing” (the robe) and BOY did i have receipts that i have, in fact, thought of this before

#hawkeye is like what if bugs bunny had the character arc of frodo baggins

Cylinder Seal

Also cylinder seal

MASH + The Onion / Reductress Headlines 8/?

(s8e4/s1e18/s7e20/s2e15/s11e3)