What if I told you that RoobrickMarine went and wrote an entire novella starring my 16th century dog couple? It's very canon-adjacent, well researched and thoughtfully put together, has inspired me a ton during these past months and it's now publicly available at AO3. I highly recommend it.
Need u to know these are the ads I keep getting when I go on your blog and honestly Tumblr is right for once. Cute puppy alert indeed.
🚨 cute puppy alert 🚨
Vasco "babe would you still love me if i had stinky ear? 🥺" is his versions of "would you still love me if i was a worm? 🥺" machete; send ask
The worm and the stinky ear.
🥺🧡🥺
Was thinking about the earlier asks about machete being remembered in modern times and can't help but think that he'd be a goth icon like Edgar Allen poe and mary shelley to modern folks like maybe he'd be referenced in a goth song or two lol
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The detail about Vasco getting ear infections is so on brand for his breed, I love that little detail. I’m a dog groomer, and hounds are my absolute faves, but when people think they have soft velvety bunny ears I have to laugh. They are *thick* slabs of flesh that smell like ear wax. I hope Machete doesn’t mind 😂
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poor vasco's ear infections. I just imagine his ears in a soft fabric tie "ponytail" so he doesn't paw at them. Machete i think would be an excellent nurse at least. Poor Sad Golden Boy
The series of ear infections made him wary of doctors and taught him to be extra careful about keeping his ear canals dry and clean.
As soon as they started seeing each other regularly Machete's health neuroses expanded to cover Vasco's wellbeing as well and he made it his personal mission to make sure he's never uncomfortable or unwell if he can help it. Vasco can certainly take care of his ears himself but doesn't mind letting Machete clean them with a soft cloth and tepid saline solution whenever he's around.
I've been curious about this for a while, and after finding your Tumblr and reading up on Machete lore I'd love to know; Is Machete autistic? I myself am autistic and I see myself in him quite a lot at times while reading your posts... If not, are there anything other disabilities or ailments he has? What about Vasco?
I'm hesitant to assign either them a lot of labels, but I think it's justified to say he has enough autistic traits to place him somewhere on the spectrum. Of course they hadn't figured out neurodiversity in the 1500's, if you knew him well enough you might call him a little eccentric. Even then he's reasonably proficient at masking and trying to appear normal to others. Having impressive self-restraint and an unhealthy degree of self-awareness helps with that. His surroundings are formal, rigid and impersonal and he has learned to navigate that specific social climate reasonably well. In addition to difficulty in socializing his main issues are sensory related, he's sensitive to textures, loud sounds and environmental overstimulation and has a low pain threshold, but can tolerate a surprising amount of discomfort in order to keep his face and not appear weak or unprofessional.
I'd say most of his physical health issues are related to anemia in a way or another, a condition that hasn't been discovered yet and thus can't be treated effectively. In their terms he simply has a weak constitution and is susceptible to mystery pains and illnesses. Unfortunately the catch-all medical care at the time is bloodletting, which, as you can imagine, only worsens his symptoms. Albinism affects the development of your eyes so his sight isn't the best and he's very sensitive to bright lights, to the point he prefers to stay indoors on sunny days.
Vasco, in comparison, has always been healthy as a horse, apart from recurring childhood ear infections. He exhibits some traits that could align with inattentive adhd, but probably not enough to justify a diagnosis. He can be a little disorganized, forgetful and has trouble starting and completing tasks, and has hard time forcing himself to stay invested in things he doesn't care about all that much.
It's probably fair to say that, as a child, Machete's goal was to just survive. Even as a young adult, survival obviously remained a principle goal.
But slowly, over time, he gained power, and is now a cardinal. He no longer struggles to fend off death (weakened constitution notwithstanding.) He probably still sees himself as trying to survive day-to-day, but clearly it becomes more than that, even if he's not fully cognizant of it.
I guess what I'm wondering is, besides "survival", what are Machete's goals? As a cardinal or otherwise. What prevents him from leaving or resigning his post? Does he have aspirations other than Vasco? Does he see himself as subservient to God, or is it something else?
I'd say his aspirations are pretty mundane. Security and stability are probably the biggest priorities overall, financially and health-wise. He doesn't thrive in unreliable and unpredictable surroundings. The fact that he knows he will have his basic needs met for the foreseeable future, there are people ready to prepare him a warm bath at a moment's notice, a reputable doctor to look after him, and armed guards that are never too far away, eases his mind considerably. A large part of his work revolves around routine, carefully crafted plans and immutable etiquette, with relatively few unpleasant surprises. He's so high in the hierarchy that very few people can treat him disrespectfully and get away with it.
He wants to prove that he's capable, competent and useful. His deeply rooted inferiority complex (that largely stems from the demeaning and belittling way his mentor treated him when he was his apprentice) has made him a lifelong overachiever, which in turn has served him well in his career. He's ambitious and driven but I wouldn't call him power-hungry in an egoistical way, he can come across as overbearing but it's because he's a perfectionist control freak who's obsessed with doing his job well and has a tendency to think most people around him aren't up to the task. He isn't in it for fame and wealth in itself, it's more about having a purpose that makes you worthy of respect.
On a more personal level he's passionate about reading, studying and learning. Partly because he's inquisitive and genuinely enjoys it, knows he's good at it and feels good about being good at it, but also because he wants to be the most learned, most cultured and most academic person in the room. Not necessarily for bragging rights, but to feel like being smart will always keep him one step ahead of the others and that way no one can pull the rug from under his feet.
He would never be able to afford the things he wears and the luxuries he has access to if his life hadn't taken the exact turns it did. He spent his early childhood in a monastery and was trained by a priest who valued asceticism and self-denial so he didn't have a lot of nice things growing up. Now as a high ranking church official he has more spending money than he could've imagined, and while he has an expensive taste, he oftentimes fails to enjoy the benefits of his status properly. He has a comfortable home with a massive bed, but it's not uncommon for him to sleep in his office or forgo rest completely. Even though he could be savoring the rarest most complex dishes every day, there aren't a lot of foods he likes eating. He would like to look pretty but even his outlandishly costly and carefully tailored silk garments can't redeem the fact he doesn't feel comfortable in his skin.
He can't resign because his sense of self-worth and lifestyle are tied to his job. It's the one thing he's demonstrably skilled at. He's worked himself to the bone to get where he is now and the prospect of losing it is simply unfathomable. He doesn't have ties to his biological family and his friends are few and far between, if he gave up his position he'd have functionally no one to rely on but Vasco. On top of that he does feel like he owes his life to the church and serving it to his best ability is his lot in life. His state of faith and relationship with God is complicated at best but he's nonetheless terrified of what might happen and how he might be punished if he ever chose to abandon his post.
This is perhaps minorly off-topic, but one of the video essayists I love who covers queer history is Kaz Rowe, who did some videos on possibly-queer historical figures. I think there's something very comforting about the future reaching back in time and, as respectfully as it can, saying that the past can be heard, even for all the love it had to keep under wraps - much of which we might never know.
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ive been wondering, how is Machete remembered in the future, like, does history even remember him? are there articles about him? is his life speculated upon?
I couldn't find the post where I touched upon this before, but a few months ago there was some talk of how he might be viewed in modern times. Machete was a very private person, I don't think he would've kept journals or diaries, and he did his best to cover his tracks so I doubt he would leave behind a lot of information about his personal life. A number of second hand accounts about him would most likely be tainted by his unfavorable public image, at least those dating to his final inquisition years.
The nature of his relationship to the Florentine politician Vasco della Gherardesca might be a topic of discussion in some circles, some historians would strongly suspect that they were lovers and others would adamantly dismiss such theories. I suppose there wouldn't be proof unless parts of their extensive correspondence survived to modern day, or some of the artwork Vasco commissioned after his death.
I remember someone suggesting that perhaps they would be mentioned in an occasional video essay or podcast, in a list of historical figures who might've been lgbt maybe, and I found that terribly wholesome. It's heartwarming to think that they would posthumously be granted some of the understanding and support they didn't get enough during their lifetime.
Erm... I was just looking through your blog, when a random ad scrolled onto my screen (as they do).. but it was for dog leads and accessories... so my experience went a little like this:
Gay Catholic dogs
Gay Catholic dogs
Depressed gay Catholic dog
Cute gay Catholic dog
Gay Catholic dogs
dOG leAdS AnYoNE?!?!
I'm high on prescription meds, so it is probably funnier to me than it actually is, but it happened and it made me laugh so I thought I'd inform you
Tumblr knows what it's doing, at least sometimes and on some level. People periodically tell me they're getting ads for psychiatric therapy dogs when they look through my blog.
I get a lot of these.
But sometimes they want me to go to Florence as well.
Actually maybe they're trying to target Machete with these.
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doodle machete’s eyes (only his eyes cause I can’t draw t he rest of him) hope you like it :)
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Bloodied Bonds - Submitted by artisticallygay
#0F0000 #493A3A #BAACAC #F6DCD5 #E51919
@canisalbus machete??
So I did end up printing two of your drawings (very bad experience 0/10, I had to interact with the people in the print house I'm antisocial) and I placed them in my bedroom wall. Now it's the first thing I see when I wake up. I'd send photos but there's a mirror right next to them and it reflects the rest of the room (looks bad). If I find a way to take the picture I'll send it (if you'd like to see) :)
For the record, I chose siesta and that one drawing where Machete falls off the bed (seemed fitting for a bedroom)
Anyway, can't wait for the 'official' prints ♡
Aaa that's so sweet ;_;
It feels special to know that for someone out there my art is one of the first things they see every morning 🧡
(I hope they don't cause you to fall off the bed as well).
was talking with a friend about another artist's OCs that we really like, and they said they've never cared for someone else's characters so much besides Machete and Vasco. then they mentioned that it was funny said other artist's OCs have one that dreams about having sex with the other while the other dreams about being hunted for sport, so i went "now that's the part that's Vasco/Machete-core"
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Hello hello loving ur gay dogs a lot.
I see that you're very interested in Italian History. Have you've read "The Betrothed" by Manzoni (Promessi Sposi in Italian)? It's a book lots of Italian high schoolers study in school and I personally really enjoy it. It's set in 1600s' northern Italy and it gives a very deep view into the life of that time. I think you would enjoy it. Love from Italy!
No, I don't think I had heard of it before, but it looked so relevant to my interests I went and checked it out of my local library yesterday. Thank you for the recommendation!
Do you sometimes imagine Machete and Vasco becoming animated? Or having their own animated series?
In my mind's eye I always see them animated, that's why it's so frustrating when I can't quite capture the right expressions and body language I'm after.