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@cryptidgf / cryptidgf.tumblr.com

fiona/22. agonizingly normal and well adjusted
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im not gonna use this blog anymore, feel free to unfollow or softblock ^_^

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thank you for the built in fidget spinner, God!

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You guys wanna know what the real fucked up telling of the times is. before, it used to be kind’ve a fun game for me to see how many bazinga shirts i could find at the thrift store (i think my record for one visit was 17). and now there’s no fucking bazinga shirts at the thrift store and it’s littered with the ugliest shein clothes you could ever fucking imagine. so guys please donate any bazinga shirts in your possession to your nearest second hand store to begin restoring nature.  Thanks!

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cryptidgf

dog girl that plays league of legends

when she gets ganked by the enemy jungler that was on a ward she starts barking

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dog girl that plays league of legends

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reblogged

Do you think Homer Simpson could smoke weed? I imagine him often, lighting a blunt or a joint (delivery system for marijuana smoke). He lights it with a basic plastic lighter. He takes the first puff. His eyes widen. He is surprised at the potency of the smoke, but he enjoys it. He enjoys the taste. At first, the burnt aroma is off-putting, but he soon learns to appreciate the aromatic, herbal notes present in the weed smoke. He luxuriates in the smoke. It surrounds him like a comforting blanket. As he takes his second hit, he marvels at the intricate network of woven “hairs. on the surface of the marijuana bud. It reminds him of a tapestry he once saw at the town museum. He is getting higher and higher with every hit. He’s never felt this way before. He experiments with smoke rings, exhaling through his nose. He feels that his mind is awakened. He is in a dreamlike state. He feels comfortable. His muscles relax. He is surprised when he notices how thirsty he is. He has never smoked marijuana before and he thought the thirst inducing properties of marijuana were purely fictional. He drinks a glass of unsweetened iced tea. Marge has been encouraging him to drink unsweetened tea instead of beer or soda to help him control his weight. In the past he drank the tea with reluctance and without enjoyment. But now that he is high he notes the complex flavor of the tea. It is smoky, bitter, tannic. He enjoys it. He is amazed that something as simple as iced tea is bringing him so much happiness. He picks up a chunk of marijuana from the kitchen table. “I could get used to this,” he thinks. “I’ve never felt this way. All of my senses are heightened. I feel serene, yet alert. I never want to stop being high. I want to be like this forever. I’ve fallen in love with marijuana and I never want to stop smoking.”

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1hoverman0k

I've installed a virus on your computer that detects when you are horny and quickly begins displaying compilations of civilian recordings of tornadoes ravaging houses with people screaming

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