okay but I have a serious question in shrek 2 shrek drinks the potion and he and fiona turn human and all that but donkey also drinks some of the potion and turns into a horse. does that mean that something happened to dragon too? did she turn into something? this keeps me up and night sometimes
Actual conversations with my brother
I heard a G note played on the tv and my entire body jerked up.
My mom said “It’s a commercial you freak”
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHEN DISNEY MADE ALL THESE TV SHOWS BASED OFF THEIR MOVIES
AND THEY HAD LIKE RIDICULOUS CROSSOVERS
YES, THAT IS HERCULES WITH ALADDIN
AND THEY HAD THESE NEW VILLAINS
(Lady La from Legend of Tarzan)
(NOS-4-A4 from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command)
(Mozenrath from Aladdin)
AND THEY HAD LIKE DARK VERSIONS OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS AND IT WAS RLY TRIPPY. THAT’S LIKE DARK JANE THERE FROM LEGEND OF TARZAN
AND THIS ONE’S CHAOS ALADDIN
AND HERE’S EVIL BUZZ LIGHTYEAR
AND THESE WERE ACTUAL EPISODE TITLES THAT WERE RIDICULOUS PUNS
SORRY FOR THAT LONG POST BUT JUST
I REMEMBERED THESE TODAY AND I LOST IT
you don’t even need to try hard
The first guy who heard a parrot talk was probably not ok for several days.
this was 20 years ago and nothing’s changed
my mom might’ve raised an emotionally vacant child with severe depression and anxiety but she didn’t raise a quitter
in my preschool class we’re holding “class president of the day” elections this week. we already elected our first female president on monday, even though one of the boy’s campaign promises was to “bring jewels” to the classroom.
tuesday: we talked about the real election happening today. one child says she hopes hillary clinton wins and all of her classmates chime in with sober agreements. one boy says voting for the drumpf “would not be a very good idea.”
they elected the other female candidate today in our mock election, so she won over the jewels boy and the other boy, who said he would make bracelets for the entire class. my students are surprisingly practical, seeing as they voted for the candidate who would clean the school and help them with their work.
once president, she did do those things, but also punched one of her constituents into the sandbox, so, i mean … she’s sort of a typical politician i guess
wednesday: the children announced tensely to me that trump won the real election. one boy said, “i still don’t like him, but we can’t say we hate him, because then we would be saying we hate the president.”
i said that was true, and that saying we hate him sounds a lot like something trump would say. they nodded and continued to help the toddler class students get their snack plates to the table without dropping their apple slices.
they elected one of the girls again, so she served her second term by helping her friends button their art smocks before we made our galaxy paintings. (because if you think i’m gonna create an art lesson plan to focus any more attention on this shitshow of an election, you are wrong.)
neither of the boy candidates have stood much of a chance in this race so far. one of them came to me and said he was rethinking his campaign promises, and could he make a new poster
he got a paper and wrote a huge list of ways that he would help keep all the children safe, including reminding them to use walking feet and not to touch broken glass. then he volunteered to work in the toddler room and cleaned up all of their messes, and moved all the shelves in my room so he could clean behind them.
i’m feeling so hopeless right now, but these children remind me that there is a future and they. are. it.
thursday: today i was very pleased. our president today is the little boy who made changes to his campaign promises. he also wore tyrannosaurus rex foot slippers. when the voters were shaking his hand to congratulate him on his victory, one said, “good job, and thank you for having monster feet”
he watched everyone like a hawk to make sure they were being safe, and then spent the morning writing in his journal about how much he loves all of us and his bicycle.
the end of the world (as we know it)
Better than Wreck It Ralph
um can we take a moment to say im CRYING?????