YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!! WTF?!?!

Jesus

It has yet to occur to them that Earth will continue existing without us without batting an eye

Meet Women Looking For Sex! Sex Dating Site For People Who Want Sex, Join Free.

This turtle is in hell and all you can think about is cum

whos granny smith where shes getting all of these damb apples.

fun fact! granny smith is nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort B

b

hhngh… .. .. .…. … . ..

j

read by phinnsy [ * ]

how’s everybody doing

sure i may not “read the player’s handbook” or “know what an aasimar is” or “calculate basic math” but im gay, im having fun, and im eating dice so really who cares

aasimar is that thing where you get real close to the microphone and talk right

oh yeah that sounds familiar! thanks!

@phinnsyreads please get this greentext

Is it sad that I know all of these vines basically by heart

educational af

The X one lmaoooo

I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later. And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly. Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

This is 1200% photoshopped.

hey

Liberté, égalité, femme-presenting titté

reblog to keep its power growing.

Less telling girls to suck dick, more telling girls that they shouldn’t be with men who want their dick sucked yet wont eat them out. Start telling girls they shouldn’t have sex with guys who don’t care if they cum. Tell girls that they deserve to be sexually satisfied. Start telling girls that its not wrong to want to be sexually satisfied

— Overheard at another table on game night (via outofcontextdnd)

I could watch this all day.

@d3ath-of-a-strawb3rry