Avatar

Bbritt2000

@bandsandyoutubersruinedmyli-blog

My blog is a mess.
Avatar

me when i spend $70: i deserve this. i love myself and i need to treat myself

me when i spend $4: oh my goddd i have no self control wtf is wrong with me

Avatar
Simon: Jean Fangs Snow-Pitch, you were named after the two hottest things I've ever seen
Baz: ...
Jean: I hate you dad
Cherry: Shut up, you lucky bastard
Avatar

Reading chapter 61

I think I might kiss him. He’s right there. And his lips are hanging open (mouth breather) and his eyes are alive, alive, alive.

You’re so alive, Simon Snow.

You got my share of it.

He shakes his head, and he’s saying something, and I think I might kiss him.

Me:

The people around me:

Because I’ve never kissed anyone before (I was afraid I might bite.) And I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone but him (I won’t bite. I won’t hurt him.)

image

I just want to kiss him, then go.

“Simon…,” I say.

And then he kisses me.

Simon Snow is still going to die kissing me. 

Just not today.

Avatar

“Can’t Sleep”

A crack SnowBaz fic for the Carry On Countdown

“Why are you still up?”

Simon froze.  He’d assumed Baz would be asleep by now.

“Studying,” he mumbled, “in the library.”

           Baz didn’t say anything more, so Simon tiptoed across the room and into the bathroom to get ready for bed.  His head was swimming with essay nonsense.  He hadn’t expected Penny to keep him there that long.  And anyway, he’d figured Baz would still be who-knows-where and wouldn’t be in the room to see him come in.

           A few minutes later Simon emerged from the bathroom and flopped onto his bed.  Baz seemed to be asleep, or at least he didn’t say anything.  Simon crawled under the covers and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.  He didn’t seem to be able to close his eyes.  Or he could, but not properly.  They didn’t stay closed.  His mind was still too awake.  He turned over and tried to get comfortable, forced his eyes shut.  Quiet thoughts, he chanted in his head, sleepy thoughts.  But everything he thought of turned to words, and all the words were strung together like something out of a very surreal dictionary.  He flopped onto his other side.  The words prattled on like strings of code.

           Finally, he simply sat up in bed.  This wasn’t working.  He bunched up his pillow in his lap and leaned on it.  His head hung forward, curls falling in front of his eyes. It wasn’t that he wasn’t tired, he was exhausted.  Any position would have been comfortable right now.  But his brain wasn’t having it.

           “What are you doing?”

           Simon jumped at Baz’s curious voice.

           “Just can’t sleep.”  He waited for Baz to retort with something along the lines of well neither can I with all the racket you’re making.  But the scathing reply didn’t come.

           Instead, Baz sat up, too.  

           “What’s wrong?” he murmured.

           Okay, this is weird.

           “I can’t turn my brain off.”

           “That’s new, normally you can’t turn your brain on.

           There it was.

           “Sorry,” Baz muttered, “I don’t know why I said that.”

           “You must be tired.  I was expecting an insult much earlier.”  

           Then Baz did something Simon wasn’t expecting: he smiled.  It was hard to see, but it was there.

           He had a nice smile, when it was genuine. Soft and shy.  It made Simon smile, too.

           “It’s also kind of cold in here,” he added.

           “Three guesses why.”

           Simon shrugged unapologetically.  He had left the window open again.  He always left the window open.  It was closed now, thanks to Baz no doubt, but their room hadn’t had a chance to warm up yet.

           “Just go back to sleep,” Simon told him.  “I’ll be fine.”

           Baz was quiet for a minute.  A long minute.  It wouldn’t have felt so long if the air hadn’t been charged with something unsaid.  It made Simon curious, because he felt sure that he had nothing to say.  

           So what did Baz want to say?

           “You alright?” Simon asked.

           Baz thought for a second longer, then pulled back a corner of his covers and glanced shyly up at Simon.

           “What?” Simon stammered.

           “You said you were cold.” Baz was so quiet he was almost unintelligible.

           What the heck was going on?  Simon hated Baz and Baz hated Simon.  That had always been their relationship.  Maybe it wasn’t one that Simon enjoyed or got much validation from, but that was just them. And what’s more, Baz was undoubtedly the meaner of the two of them, never hesitating to hit Simon exactly where he knew it would hurt the most.

           So why in the world was Baz being nice to him?

           It’s some sort of trick.

           Shut up, Simon told himself.

           He stood.  He moved forward.

           And before he knew it, he was curled up under Baz’s covers, drowning in a warm, heady smell like Christmas.  Cedar trees and citrus.  

           Instantly his head was full of nothing but that smell, like he was drifting through a cloud of it.

           His eyes closed involuntarily, and now they stayed closed.

           “Baz?” he murmured sleepily.

           “Yes?”

           “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

           There was a pause.

           And then he felt Baz take him in his arms and draw him close.  “Me neither.”

           “Let’s stop then.”

           “We can’t.”

           “Why not?”

           Baz didn’t say anything.

           “We don’t have to fight,” Simon sighed, burying his face in the hollow of Baz’s neck.  “We could just…”

           “Just what?” Baz’s voice came from above Simon’s ears, from somewhere in his curls.

           “This.”

           In the last second before Simon drifted off, he felt Baz’s throat hum as he answered.

           “Okay.”

Avatar

so I just discovered that “basorexia” means “the overwhelming desire to kiss”

literally. (if you pronounce it the English way)

BAZorexia is the ovErWHelMinG dESirE to kISs

just let that sink in

Avatar
Baz:*sees a picture of Simon*
Baz:...
Baz: ew wtf is that
Baz, printing it out: honestly the ugliest chosen one to ever be chosen
Baz, taping it to every face he sees: I can't even look at that disgrace anymore
Baz, crying: so gross
Avatar

Ebb

Ebb is an inspiration she’s such an incredible character and honestly everyone should be like ebb:

• be yourself and stop letting other people define you • goats • just because you can doesnt mean you have to—stop putting so much pressure on yourself • she puts everyone else before herself (which is good TOO AN EXTENT) bc she also makes sure to take care of herself • goats

Avatar

Sometimes I forget that Carry On mainly takes place around Christmas and it just makes my love for the season grow even more. Nothing sounds better than rereading the book near the fire on Christmas Eve and fangirling over snowbaz.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.