This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

"Don't use Libby because it costs libraries too much, pirate instead" is such a weird, anti-patron, anti-author take that somehow manages to also be anti-library, in my professional librarian-ass opinion.

It's well documented that pirating books negatively affects authors directly* in a way that pirating movies or TV shows doesn't affect actors or writers, so I will likely always be anti-book piracy unless there's absolutely, positively no other option (i.e. the book simply doesn't exist outside of online archives at all, or in a particular language).

Also, yeah, Libby and Hoopla licenses are really expensive, but libraries buy them SO THAT PATRONS CAN USE THEM. If you're gonna be pissed at anybody about this shitty state of affairs, be pissed at publishing companies and continue to use Libby or Hoopla at your library so we can continue to justify having it to our funding bodies.

One of the best ways to support your library having services you like is to USE THOSE SERVICES. Yes, even if they are expensive.

*Yes, this is a blog post, but it's a blog post filled with links to news articles. If you can click one link, you can click another.

Please, PLEASE use Libby. OverDrive. Hoopla. CloudLibrary. Kanopy. Flipster. Freegal. Transparent Language. Mango. Jstor. Your library would not offer it if they could not afford it, and we afford things by reporting the number of people who use that service, so if you don't use the service we can't afford it. It's a cycle. Keep it going, keep using it, and we'll keep providing because we'll be able to justify the cost to the bean counters in government.

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

It's been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn't come close today

My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall

HI EVERYONE OP HERE I QUIT THIS JOB TODAY

omg

This has been in my queue for months.

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

hello beloveds ☺️

made an alternate version for the mutuals ive never spoken to

You are appreciated

#cool rock

After beating the hero near death, the villain is finally told that the hero isn’t even 18 yet. Now the villain is taking the hero to go fight the gods who had sent him, looking to stop them from endangering kids for their own benefit.

A/N: This is… not quite what was asked for.

He came shouting accusations, he came with god-touched weapons and interrupted their singing. He threw the spear at her and almost caught her a painful blow. Silphia nearly struck his head from his shoulders in one swift blow, before she saw that he was shaking. Before she saw the youth etched in his face. She caught herself in time, and nearly snatched the other weapon from his hands. The net she threw into the fire. Her hearth had been burning since before apes were born, it could destroy anything wrought by man or god.

“You stole my little sister!” He was quaking with anger. “You made the drought! The gods told us!”

“And they sent you, an untrained child, with weapons you cannot wield, against me,” she said. “Come inside. Hyacinth and Anise will sing for you, and we will make you supper.”

“You will not steal me so easily.” He launched himself at her.

She caught him around the waist. “I could kill you easily,” she said. “I have not taken any children. I have not seen any humans, not for centuries. I thought you had forgotten us.”

He raged like a cat, but she scruffed him neatly as a kitten. She picked up his spear and broke it in one strike on the ground. “That would have killed you,” she said. “If you had laid it into me? It would have struck you dead.”

“What?”

“There is good hearty soup to eat, with crusty bread and honey,” she said. “You have been sent to die, but I will not allow it, not on my lands. The waters of your birth soaked the earth I sowed, long ago, but your heart’s blood will not darken it this day.”

He blinked at her.

“What’s your name?”

“Mileos.”

“Mileos, the Bold,” she named him. “You’re a growing boy, and you’re scrawny. You need food. You can tell me all my evils while you eat.”

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JFC this is absolutely brilliant.

felt like this part of the episode was.... missing something.

unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017

i don't even know who took this pic. the only person who claims to know the photographer was this person who uploaded it to reddit without naming them. it just adds to the mystery of it

I went through the code and saved the images for the boop paws.

Save and share to boop your people later.

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

ONE BOP THIS TIME

I think it's been long enough that this really isn't a spoiler anymore. I was super proud of this when I did it. Corrupted Steven from Steven Universe.

who can relate

Me fr

i can’t help but repeat myself <3

(waaaay too many sources to attach them all but most of the older clips were sourced from the videos in this playlist)

I Can’t Handle Change by Roar

is this orange or yellow.

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

hey op, what does this say?

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

Am I tripping?

Is that not 71?

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

world heritage post

It’s orange

it’s literally 71

Bestie it’s 74

Y’all it clearly fucking says 21

where are you getting that from?

Babes it’s 81 what r yall seeing

its 74 bestie you might be colorblind

That 81 person can see shrimp colors

I took exactly the same image, increased the saturation, and shifted it to a part of the spectrum most people can see better.

For all your no-YOU-have-the-weird-color-vision argument-solving needs.

Also, the car is orange.

Posting this in case anyone is color blind and doesn’t know it lmao

@cartoondog

[x]

// thanks dan for the new stim,, xD