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Confessions of a Cluttered Mind

@cleothemuse / cleothemuse.tumblr.com

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Leaving the Nest, Part 2: Preparing for the Job Search

Volumes have been written on job searches, all of them no doubt more thorough and nuanced than my approach could possibly be. As with almost any topic I’ll share with you, my darling fledglings, I’m no expert. But for the last two years of radio silence, I’ve been happily employed at a job I enjoy, so perhaps my views aren’t without merit. Job hunting today is both easier and more difficult than…
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Whitesplaining BLM for White People

“Why do black people get mad when you say ‘All Lives Matter’?” “Black Lives Matter” is a difficult phrase for many white people to understand; I know it took me a while to “get”, and I consider myself to be pretty liberal and open-minded... but I’m also white. So let’s consider another phrase which is still considered “radical” in some circles: “I’m a feminist.” Now, to a lot of people, “I’m a feminist” is interpreted exactly how you mean it: “I support gender equality”. Some people misinterpret the phrase to varying degrees, from “I want special rights for women” to “I hate men” and beyond. My teenage nephew once asked why it was called “feminism” if it meant “gender equality”, and I jokingly told him it was because “humanism” had already been taken... but that wasn’t quite right. It’s called “feminism” because it sheds light on the historic and current indignities and deprivations suffered by women and seeks to remedy those toward greater gender equality. Likewise “Black Lives Matter” calls out the historic and current indignities and deprivations suffered by people of color, particularly black people. White people have misinterpreted the phrase to varying degrees from “black lives are more important than anyone else’s” to “I hate non-black people” and beyond.  So why do black people get mad when you say "All Lives Matter"? Because it’s like going to a gender wage gap rally and telling the protesters, “Ya know, male models make only about half of what female models do.”  Wow, yes, you’re right... you totally destroyed the argument there, sparky. Now sit down, shut up, and listen, because you’re not helping. I’m a feminist, and Black Lives Matter.

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KY's Democrat governor is pretty smart sometimes

I know a lot of people were upset with KY Governor Steve Beshear when he went forward with the appeal against a federal judge's strikedown of the state's gay marriage ban when KY Attorney General Conway refused to further defend an Unconstitutional law, but I had a sneaky suspicion what Beshear was up to... ...but by recently committing his personal attorneys toward appealing the 6th Circuit's reversal upholding those so-called "marriage protection" laws, Beshear seems to be affirming my suspicions: he wants this to go all the way to the Supreme Court and get a resolution that settles the matter for the entire country. I'm just not sure I trust the current conservative SCOTUS to do the right thing...

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Hammer Time

So, after watching all things Age of Ultron this evening, I've come to a conclusion about the hammer scene in the previews: Cap cheated.

No, really, he did. He walks over, not expecting to be found "worthy", but not willing to throw his back out giving it his all, so he sort of lightly tests it.

And it moves.

Well, crap. If he picks up the hammer now while everyone's watching, Tony will never let him (or Thor) hear the end of it. What to do, what to do...?

Ah, of course! Fake it, Cap... pretend to strain and pull and give up after only a little bit. Nothing to see here, folks...

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Yeeeeeessssssss. I mean different people like different characters and that’s fine, but Daniel is crueler to Vala later than she ever is to him. I love both of them to death, but they’re also both FLAWED CHARACTERS, which is WHY I love them. Vala’s not trying to kill or enslave him, she teases him, and that’s the biggest draw of their relationship for me. It’s fun. Watching her journey as a character is one of the best parts of this show for me, we see her grow SO MUCH.

Let’s unpack this a little more: Most objections to Vala are based on:

  • slut-shaming her for unapologetically expressing her sexuality or using flirtation as a form of socializing;
  • condemning her for her past without acknowledging her character growth over 2 seasons;
  • seeing Daniel as some delicate woobie in need of mother-henning (effectively infantilizing him) every time Vala pushes his buttons; or
  • denying the covert misogyny inherent in an imagined threat that Vala somehow cockblocks a cherished BroTP with Jack — although she of all characters would be the most likely to write Col. Danning/Dr. Levant Wornhole X-Treme slash fanfic or photoshop them into a porn meme.

I consider Vala just as worthy a mate for Daniel as Sha’re or Sarah was, or as Jack would be. Because she totally understands bisexuality and I’d be more than OK if Vala & Sam hooked up too.

The biggest one is the ‘cockblocking’ for sure. Many Jack/Daniel fans are notorious for hating the female characters on the show who ‘get in the way’ of Jack and Daniel and their twu secret gay love. Sam, Vala, Sha’re…all of them were subjected to the wrath of the Jack/Daniel slasher.

(Note: Not that the other shippers have been much kinder to characters. A lot of Jack/Sam shippers horribly mischaracterize Daniel and Teal’c in order to progress their ship, and I’m sure numerous examples of the other big ships in the fandom being complete assholes to other characters are out there.

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cleothemuse

And then there's the "double standard" argument... "OMG people if Vala was a guy and Daniel was a girl and 'Volo' was all coming on to 'Danielle' that strong you'd all be like 'OMG, sexual harassment!'"

Which it is, but Daniel handles it well (mostly), and we can be sure that a female Danielle would too. And we'd still be cheering on Danielle outwitting Volo and Volo's persistence in tracking down Danielle and trying to win her over, and Volo's growth as a person into someone Danielle COULD learn to trust despite the fact that CLEARLY Danielle was being a terrible bitch to Volo that he TOTALLY didn't deserve because he's so charming and handsome and is like this hot James Bond type who finally fell for the smart chick and is ditching his wild side and isn't that so NOBLE and AWESOME of him?!

Wait... what were we saying about double standards?

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No, Steve, Don't Do It!

Maybe I'm just slow on the uptake, but I had the first Captain America movie playing "for background noise" for the 3,427,264th time, and just realized an utterly heartbreaking parallel between two different conversations between Steve and Peggy. Earlier in the film... Peggy: Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him? Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice; he damn well must have thought you were worth it.

And THEN... Steve: Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere; if I wait any longer, a lot of people are gonna die. Peggy... this is my choice.

*flails*

STOP BREAKING MY HEART WITH THIS SCENE, STEVE.

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8bitrevolver

This was meant to be a quick warm up, but it turned into a comic that I’ve wanted to draw for a while. This is something that is extremely important to me, and I appreciate it if you read it.

A while ago, I heard a story that broke my heart. A family went a cat shelter to adopt. The daughter fell in love with a 3-legged cat. The father straight up said “absolutely not”. Because he was missing a leg. That cat was that close to having a family that loved him, but the missing leg held him back. Why?!

Many people have the initial instinct of “nope” when they see an imperfect animal. I get it, but less-adoptable does NOT mean less loveable. 9 out of 10 people will choose a kitten over an adult cat. And those 10% that would get an adult cat often overlook “different” animals.

All I want people to do is be open to the idea of having a “different” pet in their lives. Choose the pet that you fall in love with, but at least give all of them a fair shot at winning your heart.

Don’t dismiss them, they deserve a loving home just as much as any other cat. They still purr, they still love a warm lap, they still play, they still love you. Trust me, next time you are in the market for a new kitty, just go over to that one cat that’s missing an eye and see what he’s all about!

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kedreeva

Let me tell to you a thing.

This is Lenore. I first saw her in a little cage at the Petco I frequent (I used to take my parents’ dog in for puppy play time), and she looked like the grouchiest, old, crotchety cat in the world, and I fell instantly in love. She was cranky, she was anti-social, hanging out at the back of her cage. Her fur was matted because she wouldn’t let the groomers near her.

She was perfect.

But I didn’t have a place for her. I wasn’t living in my own space yet, and where I was, I wasn’t allowed cats. So I pressed my face to the bars of her cage and I promised that if no one had adopted her by the time I’d bought a house, I would come back for her.

I visited her every week for over six months while I looked for a house. At one point, they had to just shave her entire rear-end because the mats or fur were so bad. They told me she clawed the heck outta the groomer that did it, screamed the entire time, and spent the next two days growling at anyone that came near the cage.

A couple of weeks later, I closed on my house. I went back and I got an employee, and I said: “That one. I need that cat.”

They got the paperwork and the lady who ran the rescue that was bringing the cats in told me that Lenore (at the time, Lila) was 8 years old, had been owned by an elderly lady who had died, and brought in to a different rescue, who’d had her for six months on top of the time I’d been seeing her at Petco.

This kitty had been living in a 3x3’ cube for over a YEAR because she was older and “less adoptable.”

I signed the paperwork, put her in a cat carrier, and drove her to my new home. I had pretty much nothing; a bed, an old couch, a couple of bookcases, and a tank of mice I called “Cat TV”. I let her out of the carrier and onto my bed, and I told her “I told you I would come back for you when I had a place. It’s not much, but it’s yours too now.”

Lenore spent the next three days straight purring non-stop. She followed me around the house purring. Sat next to me purring. Slept next to me purring. Leaning into every touch, purring, purring, always purring. She still purrs if you so much as think about petting her. She’s amazing, and I love her.

So, you know, if you’re thinking about adopting, and you see a beast that others consider “less adoptable,” think about Lenore.

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cleothemuse

Eeee! Kitty love :3 I didn't pick either of my two boys, they picked me!

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Geek's Night Out

Store Clerk: [noticing my N7 hoodie]: Oh, nice jacket!
Me: Thanks! Screen-printed it myself.
Clerk: Really? It looked like an official one to me.
Me: Nope, did it myself in one of my art classes. I figured if I HAVE to screen-print some clothing item, might as well make it one I'll wear a lot.
Clerk: [hands me my purchases] Well, thank you for your purchase, Commander Shepard.
Me: And thank YOU... this IS my favorite store on the Citadel.
Clerk: [huge grin] Okay, that TOTALLY just made my day!
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Grandpa of the Year

I work at a wholesale club as a "samples lady". Yesterday, a guy walked by with a giant 59-piece workbench play set in his cart.

"Oh, somebody's going to have a Merry Christmas!" I joked.

"Yeah, I already got my granddaughter a tea set," he began, "but then I saw this, and knew she needed it, too. I gotta make sure she knows how to fix stuff on her own, ya know?"

Total grandparenting win :)

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Monday Must-Haves: Office Supplies

Might seem like obvious things to own, but you’d be surprised how many fledglings forget to buy basic office supplies for their first new nest. Today’s post is all about some basic items you should always keep on-hand. It’s not an exhaustive list, of…
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