@officialryanlewis / officialryanlewis.tumblr.com
Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him
What’s the point of mugging someone who only has $20 in their pocket
$20 can get you many peanuts
explain how
Money can be exchanged for goods and services
in case people have never seen this piece of quality advertising
here we have the new zealand accent in it’s natural habitat
eating some ghost chups, bru
This is very important to New Zealanders. Please watch it.
oh my god
ahahkjahfha
was that english
I FOUND IT
HELLO YES THIS IS THE GHOST CHIPS AD THAT SHAPED OUR NATION
please every foreign follower i have, watch this, it will open your eyes to our exotic country
current emotion: lumpy bird drawn with touchpad on ms paint at midnight
The Shining | 1981, Dir. Stanley Kubrick
i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut
12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.
explain how
money can be exchanged for goods and services
get that shit outta here with your weak ass mullet
every time i see this i laugh so hard i’m in physical pain
OOFFF COOOOURRSSSEEE IIITTTSSS AAANNNN OOORRAAANNGGEEE III JUUUSSSTTT TOOOOLLLDDD YOOOUUUU IIIITTTSSS AAANNNN OOORRRAAAANNGGGEEEEE
So last night a bunch of my friends and I went to Denny’s for some breakfast-for-dinner and I couldn’t decide on what I wanted, so I told the waiter “I want a lot of eggs.”
"How many eggs do you want?" "How many can I get?" "I mean if you get a Make Your Own Slam you can get up to 8.." "I would like a questionable amount of eggs, please. Scrambled, so that I don’t know how many there are."
And boy did he deliver.
The manager came out to present the eggs (because, as our waiter joked, this plate of eggs was too much of a health risk for anyone but the manager to be liable for serving me), and said “….who’s responsible for this?”
I started crying out of excitement/joy/fear (no lie. it was embarrassing)
Anyway, this heavenly plate of eggs filled the entire plate and was about an inch deep (there were 2 layers of eggs in it! with cheese in the middle!!)
The waiter kept joking “You’re not getting a box. You have to finish it! You chose this!” I tipped him 100% out of pure shame (plus he was a rad dude).
Thank you Denny’s. Thank you.
THIS IS AN EXCELLENT EGG ATTITUDE TO HAVE.
You had the perfect chance to say eggcellent and you blew it. you blew it dennys.
i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven
But why the last one though what am I not getting
I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years
Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description)
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.
