W2D3 today. I’m having a hard time making the time to get in a workout. With a 4 month old, there is literally always something else I could be doing. It’s starting to effect me and I need to try harder. But knowing I need to and actually doing it are so far apart for me right now. But today I ran and I drank some water so maybe I ✅ today and work on tomorrow next.

I’m a bundle of emotions and postpartum hormones. I spent the entire run trying not to sob. Those running endorphins were always such a release and it didn’t help that I was listening to an incredibly emotional Daily episode about Breonna Taylor. I want my daughter to know her name. I want things to be different.

Like I said. I am a bundle these days.

W1D1

Almost eleven months exactly since my last run and almost eleven weeks since giving birth. The run portions felt good, I was worried my body would feel weird after everything it’s been through.

I feel this sense of ease with exercise right now. The last couple years we had really been concentrating on getting pregnant, which was stressful for me and included a lot of hormonal drugs. So exercising and running wasn’t a priority. Then when we finally did get pregnant after our third embryo transfer, I just wasn’t taking any chances and stopped running completely. So, now that baby is here and hormones are starting to even out, exercise just feels straightforward again.

Anyway. Here we are. Making time to run again and hoping it stays pretty straightforward! I’m thinking about training for a virtual turkey trot 🦃 and can’t wait for that fall weather!

I’m slowly moving the garage gym to the deck. Come over and (socially distanced) work out with me!

Getting back to fitness is much harder than I anticipated. Not only because I literally haven’t used these muscles in forever but also because carving out some time for fitness, I need to compromise something else. It’s hard but I want to be a mom that can keep up with the kid so we do what we do.

Today was an amrap of 5 lunges, 10 goblet squats, 15 kb swings, 20 alternating kb swings. I quickly dropped the weights from the lunges because shit, those hammies and then also dropped the weight from the squats because lord, losing my form. So, today’s workout was humbling but also feels about right.

Anybody still here?!

It’s been a hot minute but I’d like to come back. When I first started blogging, this place was instrumental in keeping me motivated and accountable.

Slowly working on getting my fitness back. Thinking of starting couch to 5k but it’s hot as balls out there so probably going to work up to starting running in the fall again. I did a kettlebell tabata the other day and let me tell you, that ‘light’ kettlebell was surprisingly heavy!

If you’re still here, what are some of your quarantine workout options? @funnyrunner you still swim bike running all the miles?!

Working on keeping my motivation and inspiration up. I don’t usually keep the race shirts but these have been hanging in the back of my closet. They bring back memories of each race and the training it took to finish. So many good miles and some bad miles too but you never remember the bad ones.

Feeling strong on my runs lately. It’s been nice to get back to running outside, to adding distance each Sunday, and to thinking about future races, medals, and memories.

I meannnnnn...❤️❤️

Mother’s Day gets harder and harder every year. I don’t live close to my mom, so I don’t get to spend time with her on this day. Plus, I’ve been trying to have a baby for long enough that this day burns. I tried to stay away from social media, but I’m still having a rough one.

I’m sure there are many out there in similar situations. Far from their loved ones or still trying to start a family, my heart is with you all. Let’s all get chipotle and watch Schitt’s Creek in our jogging pants together.

An update.

Hey! It’s been awhile! I’m mostly over at @bashbrothers now with yer girl @danielleruns where we struggle through our return to running and life in general.

This week I started a 10k training app. It is a welcome break from the 5k app where I was running straight for 25, 28, then 30 minutes the last 3 weeks. Today was a ‘tempo run’. This may shock you but in all the time I’ve been running, I have never done a proper tempo run. When I was training with the Running Room in Toronto, we would have speed repeats, where we ran fast(ish) for about 500-800 metres and then slowly jogged back, but never tempo training runs. To be fair, the tempo portion of the run I had today was only 3 minutes but it felt good to pick it up in the middle. I think the length of time increases each week and my goal is to keep my heart rate at a manageable pace so that I can just keep going afterward. Should that be the goal? Who knows, eh.

Now I’m reading articles on tempo runs and thinking about subscribing to Runner’s World again and feeling all, super-runner.

It’s nice to concentrate on something other than creating a baby. I hesitate to talk about this because it’s sensitive, stressful, and not something I love talking about but I also know (now) that A LOT of couples go through infertility issues so maybe if we were more open about it, it wouldn’t be as hard to talk about. We’re working with a fertility doc that has given us a plan. We’re super hopeful. Send me all the good baby vibes if you believe in that sort of thing, we will gladly take them! 

IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!

Hey guys. I miss you. And I have a favour to ask. You guys remember @danielleruns? Light of our lives and love of our internets?

That’s her. Send her some love messages. I convinced her to go for a run and, you know, running is hard.

Give her some love. Tell her she’s cute. She loves a good joke.

“Imagine what our world would look like if a whole generation of kids had the chance to learn and practice character early and in an engaging way. Maybe things like bullying and hatred would begin to fade away. We believe our world would be a better place. This is why we started BeBox.”

I’m so so proud of @x-opher and the BeBox team for putting so much time, wild talent, and beautiful heart into this project. The video gets me going every time I watch it but it reminds me that we should help our kids be the best that they can be.

You guys remember @x-opher? Well he’s been busy building a new venture with a team of wonderful people. Take a peek, watch the video, share, and back if you can! We so excite, it’s launch day!!!

If you run without blogging about it, did you even run?!

Took a trip down Tumblr memory lane today and it made me miss Toronto so bad. Summer in the city was always my fave.

I do love Lex. It’s been great down here and I am getting into a good groove trying to take care of myself, not getting into a rut, keeping my body moving and trying to eat less brown.

I just miss my family and my friends and my old places.

Guys. It's us. Excerpt from Confessions of an Unlikely Runner by Dana Ayers.