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love is stored in the cat

@they-fae / they-fae.tumblr.com

ollivander (ollie). ✡︎ ⚧ ♊︎ ☿ ☭ // they/them; married; nonbinary, trans; fae; witch; jewish; communist; local cryptid.
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reblogged

Dreamy autumn day in Stars Hollow 😌🍂

Source: pin.it
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this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:

  • the most patient and long suffering clawdia
  • bob ross, but a vet 
  • squish the cat
  • squish the cat, but with a towel
  • absolute unit mr. pirate
  • a little chubby but quite beautiful

please watch this immediately

Source: youtube.com
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reblogged
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trans-i-am

Hey you!

If you’re afab, it’s okay, even after transition, to feel weird or even uncomfortable around cis men. This doesn’t make you any less masculine. As afab people, we have a different understanding of cis men and it’s okay to feel intimidated.

Cis men often don’t realize that their existence is often intimidating to others and even the most basic state can cause uneasiness. If you feel bad about not wanting to be around guys or feel afraid when a cis guy yells, that’s okay. Unfortunately it is normal to feel this way with how often we encounter men who are overly aggressive and or violent.

I know it is a very, very common feeling among trans men and it can leave one feeling emasculated or feeling like they don’t belong. Cis men aren’t usually aware of their aggressive tendencies or those of their friends whereas we often pick up on any kind of friction or anger. These feelings of discomfort aren’t necessarily unwarranted (meaning you might be subconsciously picking up on signs that things aren’t right,) you don’t need to put yourself in situations that are possibly unsafe in order to fit in or to feel masculine!! Not all cis men are uncomfortable to be around and if you’re feeling this way, maybe there’s a reason. My advice is to stick to people who don’t make you afraid. There’s no reason to stick around those people and you need to do what’s best for you! Even if it means you only keep the company of women or even other trans folks.

If someone can’t respect your needs, for instance if you have repeatedly told someone they need to use a quieter voice and they argue with you, cut them loose. You’re not any less of a man and you should only worry about your wellbeing, comfort, and your safety.

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annakie

At my last company, one day someone in accounting approached me at lunch and quietly told me I need to ask for a raise because I was way underpaid.

They gave me a number to shoot for.  It was about twice than what I had been making at the time.

So I went online, did some research, found some figures backing up my claim, put it all together and went to my boss.

I got what I asked for.

If it hadn’t been for that person in accounting telling me I was way underpaid, I’d have never known.  I went from barely scraping by to being able to have a savings account and getting all my debts paid thanks to them.

You should at least check sites like salary.com to start the process of seeing what you should be making.

brianadeshe

Because this is crucially important

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gayforbagels

Except for the fact that 90% of the time you are under contract not to talk about your salary otherwise the company can sue you. Every job I’ve had I’ve had to sign that I won’t discuss my pay with other employees otherwise my employment is terminated and the company will take legal action. 

Important

Fuck.

If you scrolled right past this - GO THE FUCK BACK UP - this is a huge PSA

jfc I’ll be having some words with some folks

Source: mic.com
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reblogged

Trans-inclusive language in religious texts is SO IMPORTANT. There is nothing in some young people’s lives that can either validate or dehumanize them so quickly as how they see themselves represented in the words of their religion.

May all who need to see these words find them.

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bentonthegay

Dysphoria comes in many forms

Social dysphoria: discomfort/distress with others seeing you as your assigned gender at birth, discomfort/distress with your assigned pronouns, name, and/or assigned your sex clothing

Physical/sex: discomfort/distress with your primary and/or secondary sex characteristics, as they do not match how you perceive yourself,

Gender/mental: when your gender identity/mind does not match your assigned sex at birth, causing distress/discomfort

Gender euphoria

The feeling you get when someone uses your pronouns, name, etc, and when you can see yourself as your gender (like when a trans guy binds and sees his flat chest in the mirror)

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desperadore

alternative depression tips for when you read the ‘depression tips’ post and laugh hollowly, bc only in your fondest dreams could you manage to do any of those things

  • dry shampoo and face wipes are your friend. if you can brush your teeth you’ll feel maybe 2% less disgusting. wash your hands.
  • smelling nice is gr9, rubbing moisturiser in is Exhausting. perfume, scented candles and linen sprays are way quicker.
  • try to change your clothes at least every other day. wear sweats or pjs as often as you physically can.
  • you don’t need to put on underwear if you’re not leaving the house (that goes double for bras and binders)
  • drink any water that hasn’t been sitting out on your desk for a week. dust doesn’t taste good. stay hydrated. I fill one of those 2 litre bottles in the morning and keep it with me so I don’t have to get up and walk to the sink.
  • re: cleaning, try and keep one room vaguely clean. if everywhere else is a shit hole that’s fine, but you can go sit in your one tidy space and chill for a bit. it’s fine if that’s the bathroom or just the corner of your bedroom where there’s no crap on the floor. find a tiny space that isn’t horrifying and sit in it.
  • music helps.
  • eat a thing. +5 points if it has a fresh fruit or vegetable in it. take out is acceptable if it comes with veggies.
  • if your creativity curled up and died a long time ago try and find something that at least reminds you what it was like to feel inspired. watch a film, look at some art (probably not your own), read a thing. if that makes you feel worse, just?? don’t think about it??
  • grounding yourself is actually really helpful. open the window and breathe for 2 minutes. lay down on the floor and feel your whole body (unless you don’t want to in which case: lay down and don’t feel anything except the floor) 
  • human interaction is Good. text a family member you don’t hate if you have one. message a friend. reply to someone’s personal post with ‘SAME’. make your own personal post asking the void for validation. stare out the window at people and remind yourself that life exists outside of the black space inside your head. whatever works.
  • pets are amazing, agreed. watch some funny animal vines if you don’t have one.
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