Thoughts Behind a Smile [Choi & Kai]

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Kai just about jumped out of his skin at the sudden sound of a voice, the sound startling him since he had just been sure he was alone. He quickly lifted his head to stare at the other man for a moment before he attempted to discreetly wipe away his tears, his automatic smile already forced back onto his face even as a twinge of guilt hit him for being caught doing something like smoking. Or, well - technically he wasn’t smoking anymore, but it was still obvious enough that he had been.

He pushed himself to sit up and instead drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. “No, it was fine. It was really good, actually… It’s when it wears off is the problem,” he said with a small laugh. “But I guess all good things must come to an end, right?” Man, that was more true than he had meant it to be. That didn’t just involve being high, but everything - his friends, his comfortable life at the academy, these shorts and giddy hours…

A sigh seeped from his lips and he slumped in his seat a bit, almost letting himself get lost in his dark thoughts one more but belatedly he remembered that he wasn’t alone and pushed the smile back on his face, shrugging, “But it’s whatever, nothing I can’t handle. What are you doing out here at this time of night? It’s pretty obvious what I’m doing, so… You can share too, right?” He paused a moment before quickly adding, “I-if you’re alright with it, of course. I don’t mean to… Push any buttons, or anything like that. I’m sorry, I say stupid stuff all the time cause I’m an idiot.”

He didn't mean to startle the other, but he chuckled at the response. He frowns when he saw the kid wipe his tears away, but then regained his poker face. He didn't want the kid to notice his expression, making the situation worse. To be honest, he didn't care about the weed. He did his time smoking a couple decades ago. The problem was the other stench smelled within the weed.

He studied the kid's expression as he talked. But he didn't need too. The kid had bottled himself up making himself looked more depressed, to the point where he didn't even notice. He laughed at the other comment, "That's the whole objective of getting high kid. It's like, You're as high as a bird, but you can't stay up there forever. But for that moment, you feel bliss." He smiled at a memory of his younger self smoking. "All good and bad things come to an end, yes. Life would get boring if it didn't." He tried to brighten up the other mood. But he knew what it meant for everything around you to come crashing down, feeling lost, out of control.

He had stopped talking for a couple minutes, at this time he had walked over and sat himself on the bench next to the kid. He stared at the empty place the other got lost in. Tabi could almost see what the other was thinking. No he could feel it. Before he could get over whelmed by the darkness the other spoke, knocking him back into consciousness. He laughed again, shaking his head. "You're not pushing any of my buttons, I don't think I have any. And curiosity doesn't make you stupid kid." Tabi pulled another cigarette out of his pocket then lit it up. During this time he was thinking of a lie. " I needed to get out of my dorm, I wanted to walk around the campus, Get some fresh air." He unnoticeablely lied. "I'm also kind of nocturnal. I have a hard time sleeping at night so I'm always up. But besides smoking, why are you up? Isn't past your bed time kid?" Tabi chuckled before taking another puff of his cancer stick.

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"I’m a tease? I could do worse you know.~" Hyolyn’s lips turned into a flirtatious little smile as she reached up behind her shirt to unhook her bra and slipped the straps off her shoulders before pulling the piece of lingerie out from under her shirt to throw it over onto her bed and in an effort to make herself seem even more teasing she took Choi’s hands to lead them up along her thighs until they settled on the elastic of her panties as if she wanted him to take them off for her, her gaze locking with his in the process. "Told you.~"

He watched her every movement like a hawk as she slipped her bra off. As she slid his hands over her panties he wanted to rip them off then and there. Tabi paused then smirked before pulling her waist closer to him. "Such a tease." He whispered in her ear. He pulled his head down a bit lower to suck on her neck trying to distract her while he pulled off her underwear.

He smirked at the other. "To be honest, you be surprised how many people don't eat human food. Although most times I could sense their species before giving them the basket. I should just hand out T-shirts instead." He didn't want to ramble on any longer to annoy the man. "I'm Choi Seunghyun. But you can call me Tabi."

Thoughts Behind a Smile [Choi & Kai]

Kai lay on his usual ‘get high’ bench, staring dully up at the stars. As usual he’d come out here, smoked, floated in his little land of bliss for a while, and now he was coming down as he did every time, the sudden depression that made the high almost not worth weighing heavy on his chest… Heavier than usual it seemed. Tears were silently leaking down his face and he let out a shuddering sigh, rolling over and burying his face into his arms, tired of seeing the little twinkling lights in the sky that usually cheered him up because right now, it wasn’t working.

If he thought about it too much, it was probably a multitude of things that had him feeling so much worse than usual - Sungyeol leaving still weighed heavy on his heart, the realization that everyone would leave in the end and he’d have to go through heartbreak again and again, the usual stress he put on himself for not being good enough at anything in his own eyes, the thing he had done just a few hours prior to get his dealer to hand over a bag when he didn’t have enough money… All of it was piling up, and he was getting tired. So, so tired. It seemed like half the time the only real happiness he had in his day were those few hours he was high, and sometimes friends or events distracted him enough to make him stop angsting, but the rest of the time… He hid behind a fake smile, and it was getting so hard to keep it up when all he was doing was secretly craving those few hours of happiness.

The realization that he didn’t want to do it anymore, any of it, hit him hard and made him feel sick to his stomach, the implications behind his own thoughts scaring him. He was tired of living… Somehow, even though he had so many happy moments and was so grateful to be here at the Academy… He didn’t want to struggle with his own painful emotions anymore. The bad was starting to outweigh the good, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that… Maybe it would be a relief to move onto another life. He could start over, try to not be a screw up anymore, be truly as happy as he pretended to be.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice anyone nearing, just stared through the cracks in the bench as he weighed the pros and cons of death in his mind, the scale beginning to tip dangerously in a way it shouldn’t be going.

choi-ia

Feeling cramped in his room he needed a breather, it wasn't the fact his room was small, It was bigger than it needed to be. Tabi wasn't sure if it was the stress from work, school or that he was just bored. At this moment he felt strange. Something told him to get up and go for a walk to clear his head. Although he thought it was the nicotine talking. He sighed and removed himself from his bed.

The summer air hit him, although it wasn't dry and musty, it was cool and durable. He looked up at the sky to see the stars clearer than ever. Usually you couldn't see them as clear because of the lights in this realm. In the human world you couldn't see them at all. Knocking him out of his thoughts about the beautiful stars he felt the same sensation that he felt in his room. He sighed before pulling out a cancer stick and lighting one up. Then putting his lips around it, smoking. After a couple of puffs, he still didn't feel satisfied. He felt this feeling before, A zillion times before. The fact that he didn't notice this feeling from the beginning bothered him. He hadn't noticed he had walked to the other side of the campus standing a couple of feet away from a man sitting on a bench. With the stench of marijuana on him.

He sighed again the tenth time today, His work came home with him. "Shit" He muttered under his breath before flicking the cancer stick away. Before getting closer to the man before his eyes getting wide. He had seen this kid around school a billion times. The kid always had a smile on his face. The picture of his face with dimples flickered through his mind. "This... Isn't right..." He muttered to himself. He remembered his father telling him to watch out for the people who smiled all the time. Now he understood why.

"I'm guessing that's a shitty bag of weed." Tabi smiled, trying to make the other feel better. But he knew the situation was way worse than it appeared. He could literally grab the other man's soul. The kid was dying inside and out.

kimhyolyn-ia:

"Eh? So I can’t pull it off? Let me guess, it’s the ass, isn’t it? Or is it just the curves in general?" She laughed softly and took the hold of the right side of the t-shirt to slip it up along her thigh and up above the curve of her hip just to tease the reaper since he was sitting so close to her, her expression turning from that innocent smile to something a bit more teasing. "Or is it something else?"

He chuckled, shaking his head before answering her question, "It's everything." He stared at your eyes for a while before skimming his eyes down to your thighs. He watched your every move, his mind was scrambled. "Its definitely everything, such a tease though." He sucked his teeth on the last part.

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