Animal Crossing villagers will say shit like “Hey, how much water do you think is underneath your fridge from all the ice cubes kicked under? My guess is AT LEAST half a 7-11 Big Gulp! Hey! Call me over on a hot day and I could get a straw and sip it up!”

This absolutely works and provides you free amusement

NO REALLY, TRY IT. Try it with any kind of inappropriate humor. Sexist, racist, homophobic, all of it. Look at them blankly, say, “I don’t get it.” And watch the discomfort with the old timey pleasure of a rich old lady wearing pearls.

Rebloging this for the GIRLS with the nervous laughs. THIS IS FOR ALL THE UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS. For the WOMAN too humiliated to say anything.

And if you laugh in uncomfortable situations. Follow it up and ask what they mean.

The Dutch are making moves to make some changes after this outbreak

i can’t believe we’re all young professionals and academics and we’re still logging on to tumblr.com every single day to clown on ourselves. who let this happen

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

here's a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don't even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they're small enough you can use a fork if u don't have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

Now if anybody got some revenge rolls and revenge green bean casserole we'll get a full meal

Got room for desert? Cus my Grandma was just a generaly evil old hag who was abusive to my mum and my siblings also you guessed it since I came out I was not said hello to at christmas

She made pretty god Dampfnudeln (its like a sweet bread rool you eat hot and with vanilla sauce)

1. Put 300 gram flour into a bowl and make an indent in the middle

2.combine

mix until smooth

3.mix into part of the flour but leave a big flour rim on the outside

4.set 30 gram of Butter on the flour rim and cover everything with a towel

let sit till you see bubbles in the dough

5. add

and knead the dough until smooth

6. put

into a heat resistant glass bowl and let melt (the glass bowl is quite important)

7. Form about 12 dough rolls and put them into the milk

8. Cover with a lid (any lid will go it does not need to be sealed air tight)

Let bake in the pre heated oven at 200°C for about 30 minutes or until they start to get brown and fluffy

9. Serve with vanilla sauce or fresh fruit

Behold the Fuck You buffet

OH WAIT I HAVE BIPHOBE/TRANSPHOBE GREEN BEAN CASSAROLE!

this is my mom’s green bean casserole. when i came out as a trans guy, she entirely ignored me and still calls me her daughter and by my full deadname, middle name and all. she also thinks bi people are just “pissing in both pots” and called me a few really cool slurs when i told her i was bi!

she wouldnt even tell our family this recipe at holidays so i’d say its pretty secret.

-french cut green beans

-cream of celery and cream of mushroom soup

-packet of ranch powder

-shreddy cheddar

-milk

-crunchy onions

ratios: 3 cans of green beans, one can each of soup, 1 packet ranch, 1 bag cheddar, as many onions as you see fit, a splash milk (maybe 2-3 tablespoons, more if you like your cassaroles more liquidey) per 4 people.

mix everything but the cheese and onions together in a big bowl. plop it all in your oven-safe cassarole dish cover with foil or oven-safe lid and bake on 350 f (175 c or gas mark 4) for 20 mins. add shreddy cheese and onions, and bake for 10-15 more minutes. if you like your toppings crunchy, take the lid or foil off and bake for 5-10 more minutes!

my only request: tell all of your queer friends about this recipe and make sure you call ‘em gay green beans. 💕🏳️‍🌈

Car sex just got a helluva lot easier.

or homelessness

two kinds of people.

you could put a dead body there and put a blanket on it and people would think they were just sleeping and it would be a great way to transport dead bodies inconspicuously. 

* three kinds of people.

HOW CAN YOU EVEN HAVE A GIF THAT’S THAT SPECIFIC?

I agree, it is highly unnatural…

You might even say it’s ….. “Supernatural”

I haven’t seen a supernatural reaction pic exchange since the dark ages

This post has the same energy as 2012 Tumblr, and while it brings back ancient, strange memories, it also feels reassuring that some things will never change.

Good god, what year is it?

April

April 11, 2020 to be precise.

I think the key to a happy life as an adult woman is to channel your inner weird little girl and make her happy

I canNOT stop watching this so you all have to see it too

LIke the first six seconds get funnier every time I watch ittttttttt

I laughed louder at this than I’m willing to admit.

Where the hell does that “run” sting come from, anyway?

Unmute!

And also same

—

Boyer, A., 2020. This Virus. Mirabilary [blog], 10 March.

There will be a baby boom in 9 months, and those babies, in late 2033, will be known as the Quaranteens.

Am I the good boy? Really??

I mean this in the most sincere, heart-filled-with-love way, this dog looks like a worm on a string