╭ ◜◝ ͡ ◝ ͡◜◝  ╮  (                      )  (        cock       )    (                  )      ╰     ͜      ╯                      O                    o                             °       〃∩　∧＿∧      ⊂⌒（ ´・ω・）       ｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/ 　           　   ＼/＿＿＿/ 

Fixed it.

Did you get the wokeness? Did you get the performative wholesomeness? Did you secure the likes?

╭ ◜◝ ͡ ◝ ͡◜◝  ╮ (  Emotionally  ) (     fulfilling     )   (    cock       )     ╰     ͜      ╯                     O                   o                            °      〃∩　∧＿∧     ⊂⌒（ ´・ω・）      ｀ヽ_っ＿/￣￣￣/ 　          　   ＼/＿＿＿/

shitposts sometimes just come into your life fully formed

After you spend some quality time with the bae.

can i play w yr hair in a bro way

sit in my lap in a bro way

OH MY GOODNESS GUYS LOOK!

ITS A FROG PHONE!

ITS A FROG!

THIS IS A BLESSING!!

are you supposed to eat the whole brownie

so the rule in my previous workplace of longest employment duration was (and probably still is)

no personal internet use while on the clock.

employee handbook said so. every so often bosses said so. that was The Rule. no personal internet use while on the clock.

except it wasn’t. it couldn’t have been the real rule.

because most people were faffing around on the internet in between bits of work. some were even doing it on the work computers, not on their personal tablets or phones.

the real rule couldn’t even have been don’t get caught using the internet for personal stuff on the clock. because zero people got in trouble over the Harry Potter Myers-Briggs quiz and related links that took up two hours of my section’s time one day. the section manager was playing as happily as anyone.

and there was not going to be any way to get anyone to explain the real rule. because the employee handbook said no personal internet use while on the clock, and that was The Rule.

anyway one of the reasons I left that job was I was sick of being autistic in that allistic hellscape.

[tweets by enkiv2 quoted below (link to the topmost one in the thread that makes it easy to find all the others):

TBH, NTs don’t *know* social rules because they learned to follow them in a pre-conscious state. When you ask an NT to explain social rules, they explain them *wrong*.

Case in point: NTs think that people who are talking look each other in the eye.

If you actually do that, you come off as a creep.

Cognitive scientists used video & eye-tracking to figure out what *actually* happens. It’s a complicated pattern related to turn-taking.

What actually happens with eye movements during a conversation is:

1. the two people meet each other’s eyes only when switching roles (i.e., one person stops talking & the other starts) or when the speaker is emphasizing a point. The difference in the length of pauses.

2. the listener always watches the speaker’s face, but switches rapidly between eyes and mouth, for disambiguation of ambiguous phonemes

3. the speaker periodically checks where the listener is looking *without pausing* to gauge attention

If the speaker looks the listener in the eye for too long, it is interpreted as the speaker either having an extremely inflated view of the importance of what they’re saying or a selfish tendency to talk out of turn / talk too much, depending on how fast they talk!

In other words, if you do what an NT believes they are doing when speaking, you automatically come off as rude!]

Also if the listener looks the speaker in the eye for too long, it comes across as an attempt to interrupt/silence the speaker, or depending on the rest of the facial expression/posture, an outright threat, because none of the rules make sense -and of course, the internet briefly went nuts about a study suggestion there’s there’s a variation within that that manages to correlate to political views, and I still know people who try to extrapolate from that. 

Incidentally, the above stuff is why many autistic kids (God, I hope this isn’t a thing with adults. I’m aware that it probably is, though) will be told “look me in the eye” and then lectured (anyone heard “don’t give me that look” after trying?) if they do. From the autistic perspective, eye contact is uncomfortable, but they’ve been told it’s The Rule, so they’re making the eye contact, and, because it’s hard, they’re focusing on maintaining it. From the NT perspective, the person went from not paying attention to malicious compliance (see the explanation in the previous comment -eye contact doesn’t mean “constant eye contact”) with an expression that resembles hostility (intense focus and intense dislike are decidedly similar), and both of those are things that make communication incredibly difficult. And no one realizes that that’s what the miscommunication was, because neither person realized that the statement meant two completely different things to the speaker and the listener. 

Paul rudd is so amazing!!!!!

I’ve never seen this actual video

Context makes it more baffleing????????

This is perhaps the only quote that makes less sense in context than out of it.

happy birthday vicar amelia

outfit for when you're fishing with the boys

if you were wearing this all at the same time the bottom half of the shirt would get cut off and all you would see is “of course i cum fast” and a big ol bass

honestly? that's funnier