to the moon and to saturn

"adults trying to stay "hip" and keep up with youth culture and being years late is so cringey"

adult secret: its all intentional. nothing will prepare you for how fun it is to watch a teenagers face as you dab at them. i will floss when they least expect it and I will love every second of their horror.

fond memories of how one my shipmates would very earnestly ask the youngest deckhand ‘was that yeet? was that a yeet?” every time he tossed docklines

Me, flossing terribly: Am I doing it?

am I at least weird and off putting in a pretty way?

This post is so fucking old–the old anon icon? Non-rebloggable asks? The gray bar at the bottom? Truly a relic

people are still reblogging it. incredible. love u all

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

Today’s test environment was the Lofi Girl, and If I Had Words (from Babe, 1995.)

The girls are exeeerrrcising

don't hide your tags bestie this is so cute

If anyone made this for me. I can’t even describe what I’d be willing to do for them

The concepts of NSFW is being cleared of the Internet under the false pretense of children’s safety when it’s really about the people in power sanitising for advertisers and pushing evangelical narratives AND that not enough is done to keep legitimately harmful content off of spaces that minors have access to are ideas that can coexist

can adults have their own fucking space?

a lot of people are misunderstanding this post. minors arent taking away your spaces. the internet is not being made safer for children, it is being sanitised for advertisers.

And also: minors’ spaces are being taken away.

When I was a kid, “barbie.com” looked like this

But now, if you type “Barbie.com” you’re taken immediately to Mattel’s online shop, surrounded by nothing but “shop now” links and toy collections.

Disney channel’s website is now “Disneynow.com” which still has games and shows appropriate for kids, but is aimed towards a younger audience as it combines Disney Jr and Disney Channel properties, and the look of the entire site is very juvenile and not very appealing to kids in the tween and young teen demographics.

Nick.com has been similarly streamlined and is focused primarily on streaming its shows, and the only games still left are 10 apps that can’t be played on browser.

Kid-friendly sites like icarly.com, Poptropica, Club Penguin, Neopets, Webkinz etc used to be insanely relevant and popular spaces built for kids and tweens.

Now, kids are being funneled into less moderated, more exploitative, and more public spaces like Roblox (its dangerous and exploitative nature exposed in these videos from People Make Games: (x) (x)), Fortnite (known for its gambling and microtransaction issues), and social media sites like TikTok, YouTube, and Twitter.

My elementary aged cousins spend their time on Roblox, YouTube, and some less than reputable game sites that are full of ads and stolen/reposted/reskinned games. My sister was on Musically/Tiktok and Twitter in middle school. They don’t have the same options for having fun online that I did when I was a kid, especially not when they get too old for nickjr and disneynow.

The internet has been condensed into about 5 popular sites that are full of ads, and it’s not fair to anyone.

Why do so many people make tiktoks while they're clearly driving. What the fuck. Stop that shit, you're gonna kill someone.

I think people online treat driving too casually tbh, like there was a poll about people's bad habits while driving and they weren't bad habits or problematic or whatever, they were all things that literally kill people every single day. You are driving a massive vehicle that can very easily turn into a murder weapon with your carelessness, take this shit seriously.

"Haha I never use my turn signals" you are going to kill someone.

"I don't do full stops at stop signs lol" you are going to kill someone.

"Sometimes I text while I'm driving 🤭" YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.

Hi the issue with running red lights and doing rolling stops even when there's definitely no other cars or pedestrians is that when you get into that habit, you start getting comfortable with it and you're A LOT less likely to notice when there ARE cars and pedestrians, especially harder to notice pedestrians like children.

There are going to be times when the road isn't clear. There are going to be times when there are pedestrians walking around. Will you notice when that's the case? Or will you just automatically do what you do every single time and end up hurting someone? Killing someone?

“Time theft” is the boss’s term for not breaking our necks on the job to increase their profits.

If you’re not an EMT, maybe take a breather. Your job probably isn’t life or death.

https://anti-work.shop/

If you’re an EMT you also need to take more breathers (when someone’s not actively dying in front of you). Exhaustion can and will kill patients. Why am I phrasing this like I’m talking directly to EMTs, they already know this better than I do. HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATORS, HIRE MORE EMTS. GOVERNMENT, FUND YOUR FUCKING HEALTHCARE SYSTEMS SO THEY CAN HIRE MORE EMTS. AND DOCTORS. AND NURSES. OVERWORK IS KILLING YOUR STAFF AND THEIR PATIENTS.

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

My coworker Mike just started cracking up. Informed us someone was trying to make a test Outlook group at work and seems to have accidentally made it a real Outlook group.

Everyone added to the group is named Mike.

Creator of the group isn’t online yet but the Mikes are coming online in droves.

“Why was I added to this group? What do I have in common with all these other Mikes?” -one of the Mikes

“Ah, so this is Mikerosoft” (<- you’re never gonna guess what company I work for)

One Mike has suggested this is an effort by the group-creator to hunt Mikes for sport

Coworker (Mike T.) has informed us he had a meeting earlier today, and among the participants one person was missing (Mike S.) Current theory is first Mike casualty had occurred. More will follow.

Current suggestion is we attempt to add a non-Mike to the group, to test its security.

Coworker Alex: "Alex log, day 207. The Mikes have started to accept me as one of their own."

Delighted to inform you the group creator is not a Mike at all. It is apparently some guy named Ashton.