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CHOOSE YR SIDE & SHUT UP.

@cherryadestains / cherryadestains.tumblr.com

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fission-mailure

Whenever Paul does a technical challenge.

Mary: So, what's this, Paul?
Paul: When I was an assassin for the Bratva, I had an assignment that had me tracking a disgraced general through the wilds of Siberia. As I found him, we shared a drink of medovukha, he related to me how he had catered for the grand parties of the rich and famous, and showed me how to make this delicate, complicated dessert before I snapped his neck and left him there in the snow.
Mary: ...
Paul: In the spirit of that, I've left the bakers a blank piece of paper as an instruction, and they only have half the ingredients they need. I intend to judge them as harshly as possible and pull them up on even the slightest mistake. They need to be perfect.
Mary: ...
Paul: Also, this dish involves ice-cream, and I have given it to them on the hottest day of the year. One hour in, I will release seven starving lions into the tent. They have been conditioned to react violently to improper proofing.
Mary: Well, they look lovely, let's dig in.
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hxlfempty-blog
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dorothycastlemore

my friend always gets angry at me when I’m scrolling tumblr and she’s looking at stuff with me because I go too fast, but she fails to realize that I’ve developed the skill of being able to determine in a fraction of a second whether or not I care about the post, or if I’ve seen it before, or if it’s worth wasting my time to look at

and if I decide it’s not important, I just skip it

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