Heartstopper gaining such a massive success from adult gays who were miserable teenagers and didnt have a single normal romantic or even sexual encounter and no support who use heartstopper for a nostalgic fantasy

here, have an extremely wholesome tiktok to detox your dash

@lifeofkaze​ I thought you might really enjoy this too 💗

I would have aced biology if the teachers all taught the course like the narrator

It’s like a rainbow…of ugly.

Crying

*Calmly* “Here, the angler fish compares its camouflaging skills to that of a flounder, also a master–”

*Not so calmly* “HOLY CRAP, did you– what the FU–?!?!”

Here is a full playlist of all 25 “True Facts about x” videos Ze Frank has ever made. They’re all just as fantastic as this one. You’re welcome.

hitting that reblog button again because y’all NEED TO SEE THEEEEESE heheheheheh

a himbo must, MUST, be Kind, Beefy, and Stupid. 

only Kind and Beefy? thats just a hunk.

only Beefy and Stupid? thats just a jock. 

only Kind and Stupid? thats just a decent man! 

You two are the most intelligent people on the planet

P O S E (2018 –)

How DARE you keep this in the tags

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

She took a midnight train goin anywhere

marriage story as mickey and goofy is the funniest thing i’ve heard in the last decade (x)

Art

So usually the congress-edits bot shows people from Congress IPs editing government-related articles, but this person helpfully added to JRB’s page:

thank you anonymous Congressional staff member!

And y’all say the government is inefficient.

Truly our tax dollars hard at work.

@nohalmos sent me, “ trash king what if the muppets were giant CR 7 creatures? what if I fought a Large kermit? would animal do thunder damage I need to know. this is my good idea “

Now, not completely what you asked for, BUT a Stuffie Golem that loves to hug too much? Also though, Floyd Pepper would deal thunder damage.

The Character Forge: How to Play as Eijirou Kirishima in DnD 5e

Our beautiful gay shark baby recently unleashed his Unbreakable form in the anime, so in celebration of Kiri’s first major arc, I wanted to do his DnD build. However, we’re going to have to make a few concessions to make an optimal build for this character.

The Sturdy Hero: Red Riot

For race, we’ll be going with the standard build for Anime Characters and making Eijirou a Variant Human with +1 CON and +1 CHA. Variant Humans get to pick up a free feat, and we’ll be going with the Tough feat which improves our max HP, because refusing to go down makes this gay rock strong as hell. You also get a free skill proficiency, and we’ll take Persuasion because Kiri is sunshine personified, and has a heart as big as the Pacific Ocean. Even in the midst of a fight, he’s trying to appeal to criminals, which is going to take a lot of persuading.

In terms of Kiri’s Alignment, he’s definitely a good boy. But when Bakugou was taken by the League of Villains, Kirishima was the first to say “fuck the law, they have my boyfriend.” So Kirishima is Chaotic Good.

For background, Kirishima is a hero in training. Superheroes are protectors of the cities where they patrol, so City Watch is a good choice for him. City Watch enforce the law and stop crime, a perfect parallel for a crime-fighting hero.

Quirk: Hardening

Kirishia’s superpower, called a Quirk, is the power to harden his body. This subsequently makes him extremely durable, and enhances his striking power. This hardening can also extend to sharpening his fingers and hands into makeshift blunt or sharp weapons. So, it’s sort of a toss-up whether to chalk his hands up as an Unarmed Attack, or flavor a blunt weapon as being his fists. However, ultimately, I decided to give him the Tavern Brawler feat but augment it slightly. The Juggernaut Warforged gets a feature called Iron Fist that causes their Unarmed Attack to deal 1d4 + STR Bludgeoning damage. I did initially consider giving him a few monk levels, but the added attention to his DEX and WIS for a character that’s rather slow and dim-witted felt out of character, so I decided that using one of his level up feats to give him a tweaked version of Tavern Brawler was a better option. Another option on top of that is to give Kirishia the feat Dragon Hide. This gives him an AC of 13 + his DEX mod, and lets him have retractable claws that deal 1d4+STR slashing damage. Since Kiri can sharpen his hands into working like knives, and his Unbreakable Form literally has clawed fingers, this is a great second option to give Kirishima a lot of versatility with his natural weapons. The only drawback is that this is a dragonborn exclusive feature, and you’ll have to get your DM to sign off on letting him have this feature. Otherwise, just give him the stat boost and raise his Constitution, Strength, or Charisma.

Unbreakable

For class, the Battlerager Barbarian is a perfect fit for him. This subclass gains proficiency with Spiked Armor which it can use as a weapon when raging as a bonus action. So you can hit someone with your hard hands and then deal additional damage from your spike-covered body. The only draw back is that technically, this subclass is Dwarf-exclusive. But if your DM is willing to approve it, it’s a perfect choice for Kirishima, whose hardening quirk can turn his entire body into jagged spikes. Otherwise, Beserker Barbarian is a back-up option, as Unbreakable Form takes a LOT out of Kirishima, so the exhaustion that most people hate this subclass for actually does work well for Kiri.

Stats

First up is Constitution. You’re the Sturdy Hero, so you gotta be able to take a lot of punishment without going down. Next, Strength so you can keep up with super strength Sato. Your hands are hard as stone, which means your enemies are getting smacked by hard, blunt, and sharp instruments. After that, you’ll want a high Charisma. You’re a human puppy dog with a heart made of sunshine and a smile so pure that even the biggest asshole in your class wants to be your friend. Dexterity and Wisdom are just average. You’ll need to be alert to spot danger  and criminals, not to mention shoving your boyfriend out of harm’s way, while your mediocre dexterity just makes sure you have some level of athleticism and nimbleness, but you’re hardly a gymnast. Finally, we’ll dump Intelligence. You’re 15th in grades in a class of 20 students, meaning there’s only 5 classmates dumber than you, so book smarts is not your specialty.

Name: Eijirou Kirishima (Red Riot) Race: Variant Human Background: City Watch Alignment: Chaotic Good Class: Path of the Battlerager Barbarian (20) Base Stats:  Strength: 20 (+5)  Dexterity: 11 (0)  Constitution: 20 (+5)  Intelligence: 8 (-1)  Wisdom: 10 (0)  Charisma: 20 (+5) Saving Throws:  Strength: +11  Dexterity: 0  Constitution: +11  Intelligence: -1  Wisdom: 0  Charisma: +5 Combat Stats:   HP: 285   AC: 14   Speed: 40   Initiative: 0   Number of Attacks: 2   Hit Die: 20d12   Proficiency Bonus: +6   Passive Perception: 16   Dark Vision: 0 feet Proficiencies:    Athletics (City Watch)    Insight (City Watch)    Intimidation (Barbarian)    Perception (Barbarian)    Persuasion (Variant Human) Skills: Acrobatics: 0                  Medicine: 0 Animal Handling: +0       Nature: -1 Arcana: -1                       Perception: +6 Athletics: +11                  Performance: +5 Deception: +5                 Persuasion: +11 History: -1                       Religion: -1 Insight: +6                       Sleight of Hand: 0 Intimidation: +11             Stealth: 0 Investigation: -1              Survival: 0 Damage Resistances:   Bludgeoning, Slashing, Piercing (While Raging) Weapons, Armor, and Equipment:    Iron Fists: Your Unarmed strike deals 1d4+5 Bludgeoning damage    Dragon Claws: Your Unarmed strike deals 1d4+5 Slashing damage    Spiked Armor: Medium Armor. Base AC 14. As a bonus action while raging, treat armor as a weapon for a weapon attack. +5 to attack roll, deal 1d4+5 Piercing damage on a hit. Deal 3 Piercing damage on a successful grapple.

Bonus Actions

    Rage: Advantage on STR checks, +4 melee damage, use 6 times per rest.

Features, Traits, and Feats

    Battlerager Armor: Your base AC is 14. As a bonus action while raging, treat Spiked Armor as a weapon for a weapon attack. +5 to attack roll, deal 1d4+5 Piercing damage on a hit. Deal 3 Piercing damage on a successful grapple.     Battlerager Charge: You can Dash as a bonus action while raging.     Brutal Critical: Add 3 damage die to melee critical damage.     Danger Sense: Advantage on Dex saves against effects you can see.     Dragon Hide: Your AC is 13 (null). You have retractable claws that don’t cost an action to draw or sheath. Deal 1d4+5 Slashing damage with claws.     Extra Attack: You can take two attack actions during your turn.     Fast Movement: Speed is 40 while not wearing heavy armor.     Feral Instinct: Advantage on Initiative. Surprise can’t stop you from raging.     Indomitable Might: Minimum STR check is 20.     Persistent Rage: Rage only ends if you choose to or fall unconscious.     Reckless Abandon: When you Reckless Attack while raging, gain 5 Temp Hit Points. They vanish when you stop raging.     Reckless Attack: Advantage on STR attacks, but enemies get advantage on attacks against you as well.     Relentless Rage: If HP becomes 0 while Raging, make a DC Save of 10 to retain 1 HP. Subsequent uses between rests raises DC by +5 with each use.     Spiked Retribution: While raging in Spiked Armor, melee attackers within 5 feet take 3 Piercing damage.     Tavern Brawler (Edited): Your Unarmed Strike deals 1d4+5 Bludgeoning damage. If you hit, you can attempt to grapple as a bonus action.     Tough: Add 40 Hit Points to your maximum HP.     Watcher’s Eye: You are experienced with enforcing the law and dealing with criminals. You can easily locate a city watch outpost, and recognize a criminal hideout.

There were a lot of race exclusivity issues for this build, but it was worth it to give Kirishima as much damage type versatility as we could. We lost his unarmored defense to give him that Spiked Armor, but to be fair, being able to shrug off a hit is far more important for this build than not getting hit at all. Would you have build Kiri differently? Is there a better way to work with his quirk? As always, I do take requests. So, if you have a character you’d like to see given a DnD build, feel free to ask me about it. Thanks for joining me in the Character Forge, where heroes are made.

The Character Forge: How to Play as Link in DnD 5e

Link is without a doubt one of the most iconic heroes in fiction, which is why I’m excited to work on this build of Link. Now, of course Link has a long history of games where he’s had a wide variety of skills and abilities. So, for this build, I wanted to focus on his most recurring skills and items, and try to find DnD items with similar effects, if possible, to fill out his arsenal. Link is a multi-talented young man who has a talent for many skills, weapons, and items. He’s extremely flexible in what he can work with, and that was a primary focus of this build: to broaden his abilities as much as I could.

The Makings of a Hero

Hylians are clearly some kind of elf. You could make Link a Human or Variant Human if you want, but if it looks like an elf and it hyaas like an elf, chances are it’s an elf. There are a lot of kinds of elf he could be. Hylians are closely connected to the gods and think highly of themselves, so High Elf is a strong possibility. But Link is also something of a wilderness expert, so he could be a Wood Elf too.

Link is clearly good, but where on the goodness scale is a little less clear. He is a champion for goodness and light, so he could be Lawful Good, but he’s also jokingly famous for breaking into random houses and smashing random pots to steal people’s hidden money, so he could fall under Chaotic Good. And that divide could also make him Neutral Good.

As for background, that also tends to differ between game. Sometimes he’s a simple villager, a rancher, a farmer, a knight, an amnesiac foreigner. He’s so inconsistent that it’s better to just give him a background that covers the skills he doesn’t pick up from his build. Top contenders for Link’s background would be Outlander, Knight of the Order, Soldier, Far Traveler, and Folk Hero.

Skills, Abilities, & Items

Weapons      -Longsword      -Shield      -Bow and Arrows      -Bombs      -Slingshot      -Boomerang      -Greatsword      -Club      -Spear      -Magical Rods Skills      -Horse Riding      -Mounted Combat      -Dungeon Crawler      -Puzzle-solving      -Weapon proficiency      -Fighting Maneuvers Famous Items      -Triforce of Courage      -Master Sword      -Hylian Shield/Mirror Shield      -Hero Bow      -Ocarina of Time      -Power Bracelet/Golden Gauntlets      -Zora Tunic/Mermaid Suit/Zora Flippers      -Roc’s Feather/Feather Cape/Hover Boots/Glider      -Hookshot/Longshot      -Gale Boomerang      -Wind Waker      -Pegasus Boots/Pegasus Seeds      -Biggoron’s Sword      -Fire Rod      -Fire Arrow/Lightning Arrow/Ice Arrow/Light Arrow      -Ball and Chain      -Fierce Deity Mask

Get to Class

Fighter     Arcane Archer     Battle Master     Cavalier/Knight     Champion     Monster Hunter     Scout     Sharpshooter

Paladin     Ancients     Crown     Devotion     Heroism

Ranger     Hunter     Monster Hunter

Rogue     Inquisitive     Scout     Swashbuckler

Stats & Proficiencies

Honestly, Link was hard to stat balance at first. I figured his best stat should be Constitution to correlate with a late-game number of heart containers. Link needs to be able to take a serious hit, and he spends most of the game getting a bigger health bar for just that very reason. Aside from Constitution, nothing really stood out as more important, though Intelligence and Charisma can get the shaft a bit, as Intelligence covers mostly book-learning which Link isn’t really known for, and largely in part to being a mute, aside from dancing in the Subrosia dance hall or playing his Ocarina, Link isn’t exactly great with Charisma-based skills. That’s not to say he’s really bad at anything, though. Link is a real Renaissance Man, as he’s good pretty much everything. Which means he shouldn’t have any negative modifiers. But Link is also not the pinnacle of strength, durability, or insightfulness. He needs items to perform feats of great strength, speed, or stamina, and wouldn’t get very far without them, so he’s also not going to be the max in any of his stats either. Rather, he’s going to be competent in Intelligence and Charisma, and fairly good at everything else.

Proficiencies:      Acrobatics      Animal Handling      Athletics      Insight      Investigation      Nature      Perception      Stealth      Survival

Link’s New Toys

    -Bag of Holding     -Triforce of Courage (Banner of the Krig Rune)     -Mastersword (Dawnbringer)     -Hylian Shield (Shield of the Hidden Lord, Shield +3)     -Mirror Shield (Repulsion Shield)     -Hero’s Bow (Oathbow)     -Golden Gauntlets (Gauntlets of Ogre Power)     -Zora Tunic/Mermaid Suit (Cap of Water Breathing, Cloak of the Manta Ray)     -Gale Boomerang (Storm Boomerang)     -Hover Boots (Boots of Levitation)     -Pegasus Boots (Boots of Speed, Boots of Striding and Springing)     -Fire Rod (Necklace of Fireball)*     -Fierce Deity Mask (Mask of the Dragon Queen) *There are items like the Wand of Fireball and the Staff of Fire, but both items require the holder to be a magic user, which Link is not.

Name: Link Race: High Elf Background: Outlander Alignment: Neutral Good Class: Monster Slayer Ranger (6)             Battle Master Fighter (10)             Inquisitive Rogue (4) Base Stats:      Strength: 16 (+3)      Dexterity: 14 (+2)      Constitution: 18 (+4)      Intelligence: 10 (0)      Wisdom: 16 (+3)      Charisma: 10 (0) Saving Throws:      Strength: +9      Dexterity: +8      Constitution: +3      Intelligence: 0      Wisdom: +3      Charisma: 0 Combat Stats:      HP: 200      AC: 15      Speed: 30      Initiative: +2      Number of Attacks: 2      Proficiency Bonus: +6      Passive Perception: 19      Dark Vision: 60 feet Proficiencies and Expertise:      Acrobatics (Rogue)      Animal Handling (Ranger)      Athletics (Outlander)      Insight (Ranger)      Investigation (Ranger)      Perception (Elf)      Survival (Outlander) Skills:      Acrobatics: +8                 Medicine: +3      Animal Handling: +9        Nature: +6      Arcana: 0                         Perception: +9      Athletics: +15                   Performance: 0      Deception: 0                    Persuasion: 0      History: 0                         Religion:0      Insight: +9                        Sleight of Hand: +2      Intimidation: 0                  Stealth: +8      Investigation: +6              Survival: +15 Condition Resistances:        Charmed Immunities:        Sleep Racial Feature: Elf        Elven Weapon Training: Proficiency with Shortsword, Longsword, Shortbow, and Longbow. Ranger Feature: Fighting Style      Archery: Add +2 to attack rolls for ranged weapons. Ranger Feature: Favored Terrain      Forest     Grassland Ranger Feature: Favored Enemy      Monstrosity      Fiend Fighter Feature: Fighting Style      Dueling: Add +2 to melee damage rolls when using 1 one-handed weapon. Fighter Feature: Superiority Die      5 (1d10s) Fighter Feature: Maneuvers      Disarming Attack: spend a superiority die to force your target to make a Strength saving throw. On a failed roll, it drops 1 item of your choosing.      Feinting Attack: spend a superiority die as a bonus action, and select a target. You gain advantage against that creature and add the roll of your superiority die to your attack damage if you hit the target creature.      Parry: As a reaction, reduce melee damage you take by your dex modifier + the roll of a superiority die.      Precision Attack: add the roll of a superiority die to the damage roll of a melee attack you made.      Riposte: When an enemy’s attack misses you, you can make a counter attack, and add the roll of a superiority die.      Sweeping Attack: Use a superiority die to cause your melee attack to hit a second creature within 5 feet of your first target. Add your superiority dice roll.      Trip Attack: Use a superiority die to force a large or smaller creature to make a Strength saving throw. on a failed save, that creature is knocked prone. Spell Slots:      1st (4)      2nd (2) Link’s Spellbook      Cantrips True Strike      1st Level Cure Wounds Hunter’s Mark Wild Cunning Protection from Good and Evil      2nd Level Find Traps Actions:      Action Surge: take an extra action once per rest.      Primeval Awareness: Spend a spell slot. For 1 or 2 minutes, you sense the kinds of creatures within 1 mile of you, or 6 miles in forests and grasslands. Bonus Actions:      Cunning Action: Dash, Disengage, or Hide once per turn.      Second Wind: Regain 1d10+10 HP once per rest. Features, Traits, and Feats:      Archery Fighting Style: Gain +2 on attack rolls with ranged weapons.      Dueling Fighting Style: Gain +2 on damage rolls when armed with a single one-handed melee weapon.      Ear for Deceit: Any roll of 7 or lower on an Insight check against lying becomes an 8.      Extra Attack: You get two Attack actions.      Eye for Detail: Perform an Insight or Investigation check as a bonus action.      Favored Enemy: Deal +2 bonus damage to Monstrosities and Fiends. Gain advantage on Survival checks to track Monstrosities and Fiends, and Intelligence checks to remember information about them.      Fey Ancestry: Resistance to Charmed effects, immunity to magical sleep.      Hunter’s Sense: As an action, choose a creature within 60 feet. You learn the creature’s damage immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities. Can be used 3 times per long rest.      Improved Combat Superiority: Your superiority die become 1d10s.      Indomitable: Reroll a failed save once per long rest.      Insightful Fighting: As a bonus action, make an Insight check against another creature’s Deception check. If you succeed, you can use Sneak Attack against the creature even without advantage for up to a minute. Doesn’t work if you’re disadvantaged. Wears off if you target a new creature with this feature.      Know Your Enemy: If you spend at least 1 minute outside of battle observing a creature, the DM will tell you whether the creature is superior, inferior, or equal to you in any 2 of the following stats: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, AC, Current HP, Total Class Levels, or Fighter Class Levels.      Natural Explorer: Favored Terrains are Grasslands and Forests. While in your favored terrains: double proficiency bonuses for INT and WIS checks you’re proficient in, difficult terrain doesn’t slow your party down, always alert for danger, can move stealthily at a normal pace when traveling alone, find double food when foraging, and when tracking anything, you can tell how big they were, how many there were, and how long ago they passed through.      Sharpshooter: Attacking from long range doesn’t disadvantage ranged attack rolls, ranged weapon attacks ignore half and ¾ cover, and you can -5 on a ranged weapon attack roll to add +10 to the damage roll on a successful hit.      Slayer’s Prey: As a bonus action, pick a creature within 60 feet of you. Add 1d6 damage to the first attack you make against that creature.      Sneak Attack: Add 2d6 to damage roll when you have advantage, or another enemy of the target is within 5 feet of it.      Thieves’ Cant: You can articulate covert messages in casual conversations.      Trance: Trance for 4 hours instead of sleeping for 8.      Wanderer: You have an excellent memory for terrain and don’t need a map. You can remember where to find settlements, foraging spots, and geographical landmarks. You can always find enough food and water to sustain yourself and up to 5 more people provided the land can provide food and drinkable water.

I’m sure there’s some who will disagree with my picks, but I optimized a build around looking for enemy weaknesses, having a ton of proficiencies, and having a wide and varied arsenal of weapons at Link’s disposal. If you’d build Link another way, tell me what you’d do different. Who do you want to see me make next? And as always, I look forward to seeing you again at the Character Forge, where heroes are made.

"My next D&D character will be serious, dark, & intense" I repeat to myself as I create a lizardfolk bard named Oxford who specializes in dual-wielding sickles, adaptive camouflage, & putting evildoers to sleep.

A kama-kama, karma coma, comma chameleon, if you will. 😘

Stupid items I made up

Dunked on by a dictionary 😭😭

This is how they brainwash ppl into thinking Black ppl are dangerous, just lies

The NY Post is a right wing dish rag of a newspaper

Why was she sealing her ends on the train tho 😭😂