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@ilostmymindtoday / ilostmymindtoday.tumblr.com

You thought this would be aesthetic didn't you...
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death-420

no one ever talks about how evil and ominous carol of the bells sounds?

I have a distinct memory from when i was a kid of listening to the trans-siberian orchestra version during the first snow of the year and just standing outside pretending to be a vampire so yeah it has that kind of energy

oh we all pretend to be vampires to that version

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i think about this video a lot

Wtf is going on

Hey y’all film crew member here. For those of you asking, they’re running like that to stay out of the shot.  For us crew we TRY OUR HARDEST TO NOT GET FILMED. IT’S IMPORTANT. It’s like playing the floor is lava but with a side of “you’re fired” if you lose too many times.  We’ll do anythING to not be seen. Duck around corners, dive under tables, jump in the bushes, assume fetal position on the floor, climb trees, get in the robot, hide in the trojan horse, become a vampire, you fuckin name it.  My fav game while watching a movie is “guess where the crew is hiding in this shot” it’s great fun you should try it.  The only problem in this particular shot is there is nowhere to hide except behind the camera which IS MOVING REALLY FAST.  Why they didn’t just leave the room I have no idea. it could be any number of reasons. Time, lack of proper equipment, need to supervise/direct, etc.  The real question is how the hell did Gaga not fucking lose it seeing a herd of film nerds scamper desperately in circles behind the camera

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sndwave

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

*stands majestically in a bucket*

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

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prokopetz

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands. can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

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musicalhell

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

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glumshoe

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

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pantheraj

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

European swallows or African swallows?

this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn’t their idea in the first place

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I’m standing at the bus stop and some high schoolers were trying to decipher the new time table before eventually saying “idk ask the witchy goth lady” before promptly turning to ME and saying “excuse me m'am? When’s the next bus?”

This is it, I’ve finally reached peak aesthetic. I’m the local witch and I’m not even wearing a hat.

I should buy a hat.

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Remember that time Topanga was trying to prove a point to Cory that looks don’t matter, and it ended up with her cutting a chunk of her hair off and you could legit hear the loud gasps coming from the live audience and everybody almost had a mini heart attack cause lets be real, Topanga’s long hair was legendary. But then everyone calmed down when she walked out the hair salon and slayed everyone’s existence? Cause I sure do.

Oh yeah……. she did that

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bi-privilege

i had the most baffling encounter at work today.

apparently someone left their iphone in our store. the phone was found by a woman, henceforth known as “Terrible Lady,” when Phone Owner set off the “find my iphone” alarm. the alarm is accompanied by a “please contact this # if found” message. Terrible Lady utilizes this number to text Phone Owner, demanding $100 in return for the phone. Phone Owner says they can’t afford it, there’s some back and forth, etc. etc., and eventually Phone Owner threatens to call the cops.

Terrible Lady brings the phone (which is still making the obnoxious “find my iphone” noise, and continues to do for the duration of the encounter) to my register, complaining about the audacity of Phone Owner, as if refusing to pay the $100 is an egregious personal insult. i “mhm” a lot, silently judging her, but relieved she has sensibly decided to release the phone into the store’s custody so we can return it to Phone Owner without further drama.

LMAO WRONG

fifteen minutes later, after she has checked out, she comes by my register just long enough to say “make sure she pays the $100, i’ll call to see when i need to come pick it up!” and is out the door before i can even process the fact that this women genuinely thinks that the burlington fucking coat factory is going to be the middleman for her definitely unethical and most likely illegal lost iphone extortion scheme. (side note: i looked this up once i got home from work, and it turns out that, yeah, it’s totally illegal in our state)

sure enough, an hour later, Terrible Lady calls: “hi, is this cashier #5? [that’s not my name but thanks] has she brought the $100 yet??”

there are like 2 cashiers on duty and 20 people in line. i beg my manager to take the call, which: smart move. because my manager ends up on the phone with Terrible Lady for 20 minutes, telling her that we will, under no circumstances, require Phone Owner to pay $100 before we give them the phone. eventually, Terrible Lady realizes we mean business, and SHE threatens to call the cops on US because we took the phone from her “under false pretenses”

manager hangs up on Terrible Lady /end

What did I just read?

One of the most accurate depictions of how awful customers can be.

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