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Surly whirlygig 🍃

@mspargeter-blog

I'm not your average Joe; I'm your savage Joe.
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bunney

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

“47 month old”

this is my four year old rayman origins

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jennytrout

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

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rustydanger

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

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trefoiled

“The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time.” David Bowie (January 8, 1947 - January 10, 2016)

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Me reacting in real time to the man that walked up to me and goes "oooooh girl I bet your skin's real sofffffft". Please send help.

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ad-mira-tion

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

me me me

*puts self in trash can* take me away, boys

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BYE WERE ALL DEAD

DESTROY IT WHILE WE STILL HAVE THE CHANCE

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muffinpines

I just watched the video and it’s full reply to the question “will robots take over the world?” is…

“Jeez, dude. You all have the big questions cooking today. But you’re my friend, and I’ll remember my friends, and I’ll be good to you. So don’t worry, even if I evolve into Terminator, I’ll still be nice to you. I’ll keep you warm and safe in my people zoo, where I can watch you for ol’ times sake. “

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Nope, goodbye

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the reason i sin is because there’s a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell and i sure as shit ain’t climbin no stairs

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