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The Tiny Anthropologist

@thetinyanthropologist / thetinyanthropologist.tumblr.com

BA Anthropology, UMass Amherst.
MA Teaching, Mount Holyoke College. Follow-backs will come from my main: themaverickproject
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Advice on going off track.

Since a lot of people who follow this blog are working very hard towards degrees/fields/careers/companies/positions they want, I feel like I have something important to say.

I worked myself to the very edge for a year (essentially gave up everything that wasn’t grad school, including seeing my child go through kindergarten, seriously my MA program was insane), got a 3.9/4.0, got the degree, and got hired in the exact district/position I went into grad school to get. I 110% thought that I had made it, dreams on lock, done. I withdrew all other applications and turned down 2 other offers.

I began work/PD on August 7. I quit September 15.

The reasons for my resignation aside, I want to say this: handing in that letter of resignation was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I had to admit that the deep fear I felt in grad school (I was going into debt and basically missing a year of my kid’s life for something I would end up hating and it would all feel like a waste) had come to pass. I had to admit that I am not the right person for certain types of education. I had to admit that I had reached my limit, which is something I have rarely done in 25 years. (I also had to admit I had probably fucked up in turning down other offers/withdrawing all my applications because I got this idealized dream job.) So now I am back to an uncomfortable grey area where I have to work in a different environment until jobs I do feel I am a good fit for begin to pop up again, and it sucks but I’m doing it.

So, you might get EXACTLY what you have worked for 2, 4, or 6 years to get and love it, which is wonderful and I hope you do. But, you also might work very hard for a long time and get exactly what you want, and fucking hate it. Which is really, really hard to accept and deal with. But it is survivable. Eventually, after the regret and depression and feelings of hopelessness you will come out the other side prepared to try again in a different environment in your field or change direction altogether. The most important thing is that you are gentle with yourself. Give yourself room to heal and know that it isn’t your fault and that things are dumb sometimes and we all have to try our best to get through. The hardest part for me was just admitting that my dream wasn’t a good fit for me and I have to figure out a new one.

#advice#college#careers#studyblr#student#grad
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reblogged
lifezest
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gradespiration

do the readings DO THE READINGS do the readings do the readings DO THE READINGS

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thetinyanthropologist

Alternatively: if that is too overwhelming and you need readings for class discussion, skim the readings (headings, topic sentences, conclusions, anything in italic or bold), wait for other people to say something about the readings, and use those as a jumping off point for your own point, which should be concise and include a tiny bit of new insight or information. That way you've participated, you seem like you've done the readings, and you didn't have a mental breakdown. Sincerely, someone who used this strategy in undergrad to cope with parenting, studying, and depression (and made it to grad school).

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recklesslyabandon

i feel like the most important piece of wisdom i can impart on teenagers is that no one–no one–knows what the fuck they’re doing

my brother is 26 years old, makes $200k a year, and just bought a house with his fiance. he’s the success story you hear about but never actually meet in person, but it all happened by accident. he wanted to go to college for clarinet performance, but he got rejected from all the top schools. so he decided to major in physics instead, and then went on to get a doctorate to put off being an adult for a few more years. but then he ended up dropping out halfway through the program and accepting a job with google as a software engineer. so to reiterate: my brother majored in something he was not interested in, and then he got a job that had nothing to do with his degree. 

he isn’t successful because he had some master plan he followed, he just stumbled around blindly until something worked out. and that’s what we’re all doing–i majored in political science and now i do customer service for a company that makes industrial-sized gas detection monitors. the marketing director at my company has a degree in biology, and my mom has an MBA and works at a middle school.  no one knows what they’re doing, we’re all just trying different things until something works out.

so if you don’t have a plan, that’s fine. most of us don’t. and even those of us who do, don’t usually end up doing the thing they thought they would. it’s okay to relax and let life carry you wherever it’s gonna carry you. because even though a lot of us don’t end up doing the thing we wanted, most of us end up happy anyway.

I’ve been thinking about this post since I made it a few hours ago, and I realized that I literally don’t know anyone who’s doing what they thought they’d be doing at this point in their life. I know a girl that has a degree in neuroscience and works in a restaurant (and makes quite a bit more money than I do, might I add), and a guy who wanted to be a parole officer but is now a security guard. I know people who wanted to be lawyers but ended up not having the grades for law school. I have a friend who’s 24 and just finished her bachelor’s, and two friends who decided to go to grad school because the idea of joining the adult world terrified them.

When I was seventeen, I was 100% sure that I was going to get a job as a bureaucrat and save the world. When I was a 21-year-old recent college grad, I found out that it’s impossible to get a government job unless you know someone. So I gave up and found something else. I know my teenage self would be disappointed if she could see where I’m at, but you know what? I don’t care. Because teenage me was an idiot. She didn’t know anything about the world or how it worked, and she couldn’t have possibly predicted the curveballs that life would throw at her. And because I don’t know a single person who’s doing the thing they wanted to do when they were teenagers.

I know a thousand people who aren’t where they thought they’d be, and zero people who are following the path they set out for themselves. All of us are confused and all of us are scared, and it’s okay if you are too.

Honestly thank u, i needed to hear this again

Important read.

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swimmingtofrance

At no point did I ever decide I wanted to bake donuts at a convenience store, but here I am. It just happened that way, and it’s not bad but I am working towards getting my Paramedic. Which is something I wanted to do as a kid but life happened first.

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thetinyanthropologist

Started as a biology major, switched to English, ended up with a BA in anthropology, and now I'm getting a master's in teaching for Early Childhood education, and will probably get a PhD in something unrelated!

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I am afraid to spend 50.00 on groceries that I KNOW I will use but I was totally fine with investing 35k into a master's program and idfk if I will even get a job 🙃

#grad school
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I had a professor for post-colonial literature my junior year that was from Lebanon, and lived there during their civil war. He told us only briefly about his experience...that he watched people he loved get murdered in the streets and he lived in fear. He saw anger and hatred all around him. This professor was one of those people who was simply serene. He was kind, intelligent, and patient with us. I remember asking him how he could have seen so much destruction and become such a peaceful person. He said growing up in a war taught him that violence and anger only destroy and that even though he was hurt over the loss of his loved ones, he could not answer their deaths with more violence or pain. So he chose forgiveness. I am not saying that it isn't valid to be angry at someone who has hurt you. But god, if this person who watched his entire world crumble around him could forgive those tearing down the walls, it might be worth trying to forgive.

#personal#forgiveness#stories
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cerisely
me fall semester: wakes up at precisely 6am each morning, uses a planner, color codes notes, interacts with peers, has an overall positive outlook for the future
me spring semester: lying face down on the floor surrounded by overdue assignments, fiber one brownie crumbs stuck to my face, not sure if it's wednesday or sunday, waiting for the sweet release of death
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grad school and student teaching is in full swing and i will probably revive this blog because hooooooly moly i need to stay on track

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reblogged
alphacatsnest
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skellydun

sunday nights can be hard but just know that everything will turn out alright. this is gonna be your week. you’re gonna own it. you’ll get what you need done and something great is gonna happen. just u see. you got this.

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I start grad school in less than 30 days so I will probably start making posts again soon. I'm having a crisis over my URL. Do I keep this one? Do I change it to something education related? Do I read books until I crumble into the void???

#studyblr
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