Peaches.

That's it, that's their whole relationship.

in the mood to be possessively adored

we are so back

We are so back

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

World heritage post

yes I'm at Wendy's yes my cunt is out

they ain't the only bitch with a juicy $4 baconator

if you try to run me through with your blade i'll just pull it in deeper until we're face to face and kiss you on the mouth. with tongue.

and yes. i will vomit blood into your mouth <3

Pardon?

you know. bat marriage.

HELLO?!?!?! WHAT IS THIS AD

I will hard pee in them

their website is just as bizarre. 

fantasy characters: “Geez”

me: who the fuck spread Christianity there

this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up

W H A T

@rogha

In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.

Definitely funnier if you make fantasy explanations though,

Champagne is a wizard who sells bubbly alcohol.

It’s called English because of the original Lish people, all languages start with En here.

French fries are not potatoes they’re roots of the french plant.

Goodbye is now short for ‘good be your eye’ wishing you luck seeing the path ahead.

Jesus Christ is a long dead lich who used to cause everyone problems and we haven’t stopped saying her name when things go wrong.

And that’s the Pratchett approach

*eats a salad one time* i am honestly the most pure being on this earth i can feel the toxins escaping my body right in this moment. health is a lifestyle

I was so confused for a second

(via)

I honestly thought-

ketzal_coatl

THE BASEMENT YARD moments that had me screaming (1/?)