@pip-pippin / pip-pippin.tumblr.com
spiders have got to figure out contracting I need to be able to call my local spiders union and be like "hey can you send a guy out for a few days the fruit flies are back" and then pay it in spider currency. I'll learn the conversion rates. I'll be generous with my rounding. please.
why are you googling pregnancy tests and abortions. Are you doing research for a scrampire mpr
The most humbling thing that's ever happened to me is someone thinking it's more likely that I am writing Sesame Street MPreg than me having sex in real life.
sex : nice
sex that corrupts you : very nice
sex that corrupts both participants body and mind to make them crave each other more than they do air and slowly twists them into beings that are completely alien from who they were before it started who now exist in symbiosis and can only know ecstasy through each other : I have no punchline please I need this so bad
@gf-boyfriend you understand me better than anyone else on this post
there's no temptress quite as irresistible as the mid afternoon sleepies
The entire idea of the egg as "someone who is trans but ~doesn't realize it yet~" instead of "someone who would clearly be happier if they chose to be trans" has broken a lot of people's brains
No one is trans. Everyone is trans. Most people live their entire lives not realizing that being trans is just An Option for them that they could take at any given time--and furthermore, most people will resist this knowledge even when they're beaten over the head with it. We should be asking everyone, absolutely everyone: "Did you know that you can do whatever you want?, and also "Are you really sure that you know what you want?" And we should ask them over and over again until they also want to destroy this gendered nightmare.
every time people try to articulate what exactly "neurodivergence" is into one comfortable bubble of needs and behaviours, they're utterly failing to account for the existence of nathan fielder type attack-position autism
some people's reaction to realising they have flat affect was "oh it's really funny when people can't read my tone. I can say anything with a straight face" and this is, generally speaking, the path of demonic cultivation
my favorite part of House of Leaves was the moment a character referred to a book as a "house of leaves [pages]" and i closed the book and stared really hard at the cover and finally realized why it was about half an inch shorter than the actual pages. it's because it's. because it's b. it's bigger on the inside th
i’m obsessed with the mum from ponyo. driving single lane on a cliff edge? drift those turns in your nissan cube. husband has to work an extra shift? tell him to fuck off in morse code. pet fish turned into a child on your driveway? adopt her. town drowned in a tsunami? leave your 5 year old in charge, he’s the man of the house now
ideal woman to me and i am not kidding
SHE SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB
I don’t think the club could handle her
A male common agama (Agama agama) basking on a rock in Cameroon, Africa
The fact that Tolkien realized he’d created inconsistency for LotR with the first published version of The Hobbit and then retconned it with the in universe explanation of “Bilbo is a liar,” is never going to stop being both equal parts brilliant and funny.
You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.
Demonitizing Irish people's videos for having swear words in them is a kind of hate crime and psychological torture I think.
rabban when the baron asks wtf he's doing on arrakis
