Kylo-Ren

   “ Ben … I think it’s time that we talked, that you listened. ”

“I don’t need you. And I don’t need to listen to you.”

deleted scene from Return of the Jedi (1983)

#I’ve never seen this parallel before but now that I have it is staggeringly obvious    #and now I have entirely too many feelings about how much love for anakin skywalker luke must have passed on to his nephew     #even if it somehow got perverted and twisted up and aimed in the wrong direction     #(“I am a jedi like my father before me”)     #(“grandfather show me”)     #they both invest themselves (their /selves/) in a man they’ve never met; who was both the war hero luke imagined as a boy on tatooine     #and the terrifying force for violence and destruction that kylo ren idolizes     #…………………     #there’s something to the idea that love for anakin can be both a redemptive force and a destructive one     #but I don’t know what  (notbecauseofvictories)

#this sort of shit is what can be so fascinating about star wars#this kind of thing is what I’m here for–not stupid shipping crap or idolizing abusive behavior patterns–but#studying the wildly different effects one person can have on two men who#so easily could have been the same#ben could have been Luke. ben could have taken the family who loved him and chosen a path of light#ben could have taken all that teenage arrogance and desire for adventure luke also possessed#and turned himself into a wise young man who discards his own anger in favor of compassion#and luke–by his own turn–could have been kylo. he was so strong in the force. he was too old to be classically trained by the council#he was impulsive and emotional and driven toward the stars for his own grandiose dreams#he could have twisted to the dark side. it was there in him. he had opportunities to take that path#but luke chose the anakin who created a droid so his mother wouldn’t be lonely#who made impulsive silly decisions out of a desperate need to help and save people he cared about#the anakin who was so loved by padme and by obi-wan#and kylo chose the vader who let his own insecurities and rages take the wheel#the vader who could not see above his own staunch beliefs long enough to evolve#the Star Wars I love so much is the Star Wars that dwells on the critical nature of freewill#on the importance of choosing your path no matter what other people believe you should be (novelconcepts)

the last jedi + elements [insp.] 

+ bonus: 

KILL IT IF YOU HAVE TO.

She flinched slightly, her breath hitching out of instinct at the sound of the door slamming, as if expecting a blow to come to her frame. exhaling only when his eyes fell upon her own, then down to his hands, where the rested upon her damaged ones.

“ Not easily. But I’m sure I’ll manage.” she offered, her lip jutting out in a stubborn pout. They may have broken her in many ways. Ways she’d hope would not have to become the topic of discussion with him of all people, but they’d never take the stubbornness from her that burned like a light all of its own.

Kylo trusted her. With a nod, he moved his hands away from hers and stood. Because he knew - whether she could walk or not - that she wouldn’t ask for his help. Because he wouldn’t either. Pride was only conquered by desperation, and he thought too highly of her to push her into giving in. “The ship isn’t far, I’m sure you’ll make it.” He said, watching her as he stood back - enough to give her some space, but not too far in case she did need some help. 

“ I don’t expect you to listen, anymore than Anakin did.  “  She had pled, and pled, tried as hard as she could to get Anakin to turn back. Luke had tried, Obi Wan had tried. Yet it had been Anakin’s own decisions that had brought him back. Not Padme’s attempts. “ You’re the only person who can decide what you become. “ 

“ The Dark Side may give you power, but it will always leave you inevitably alone,” She had watched at it happen. She had watched it overcome and warp Anakin into Vader. Her gaze was steady on his, her eyes sad and sure. Padme hoped, still. Hoped he would see.  “ Are you willing to give up everyone? In favor of an apprentice?” 

Anakin. It was strange hearing his grandfathers name spoken like that. It almost made him give a small smile. Such history. So much past. Too much to even process. And yet he was attempting to live up to the great Darth Vader - attempting to meet his own expectations on how he should be, how he should act. It was exhausting, but it wasn’t out of his capabilities. And if he wanted to become like his grandfather, he had to ensure he kept focus. Which is exactly what he was doing. Padmé was right. He wasn’t going to listen, no more than Anakin did.

“Anything you say I have already heard a million times from Skywalker. You forget who taught me, grandmother.” With an almost irritated sigh, he looked away. “I don’t expect you to understand the reasons for my actions, but I do expect you to understand this. I know what I’m doing. I am not some innocent boy, despite what you may believe.”

“I am, “ she agreed, watching him. With a distant bit of surprise,  she realized, he looked like Leia. Leia’s features, her features, marred with darkness. Padme knew the source, the source that was both hated and feared by many. Even now. “ I’m your grandmother, Ben. My name is Padme. “ 

  He knew that was not the name Leia would’ve told him. Breha had been her mother, in all the ways that counted. But Ben was still her grandson. She can see his hesitation, and Padme felt hope. Surely, no truly evil creature would be so cautious. 

“ I wished it hadn’t happened again.” 

That stilled him. Grandmother. That was why she had reminded him of Leia. That was why he already felt that connection. That was the link. It took him a moment to fully comprehend, for Solo was not Padmé’s second name. Skywalker. Post-marriage. This was the wife of Vader. One that appeared to have been lost in history. No one alive knew her voice, knew her face. No one knew anything about her. His mother barely had, the same with his uncle. So this...

“...Honoured is not the word I’m looking for.” Or was it? He brushed it aside, finally ignoring the strange sense that seemed to be poking around at him while they were talking, and instead focused on what she was saying. Hadn’t happened again. It didn’t take a genius to work it out. “I’m not sorry.” He stated, before finally, finally looking to where the voice was coming from. “The longer I stay the more it becomes clear that this is my place. So if your mission here is to convince me otherwise, your time would be better spent elsewhere.”

Rey considered the momentary silence, his response, the overwhelming sense of protectiveness she felt all of a sudden. They were interlinked and entwined in ways that she couldn’t control (in ways he likely had no control over either - the man had too much pride to let his emotions through in such an honest and open way). It felt… Right.

“I have to kill him. Don’t I? Before he kills me.”

“No.” That was an instant reaction, and it took him a moment to speak again. It wasn’t because he wanted Luke to live. Quite the opposite in fact; if there was a way to destroy Luke then he would take it. But he wasn’t sure how he felt, allowing Rey to face him alone. She was capable, but he knew Luke. Their match would be evenly faught.

“You don’t know him like I do. If you’re confident in your abilities then kill him, but it will be a test of your strength.” Emotional and otherwise. He didn’t want her to fail.

It might not have been the first time she’d felt his presence, but each time it felt stronger, each time filled her with different emotions that she hardly understood. Hatred, anger, darkness, love, hope… How she could feel an array of emotions like that from a man across the Galaxy? 

“He told me.” She said, looking up and seeing him in front of her. Taking in a breath, she looked at him. “He told me he was afraid of my power. Would he do the same to me?”

Luke had finally told her the truth. He almost wondered how that went; what exactly he had said. It was enough for Rey to fear him, it seemed, at least. For a reason unknown to him, Kylo suddenly felt a hint of protectiveness about this girl, this nobody. For she was strong, and on an island with a man who would try to kill his family. What truly would stop him from doing the same to Rey?

“I don’t know.”