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Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice

@chamber87 / chamber87.tumblr.com

(In the midst of switching blogs) Thanks for visiting my blog! Here, I'll post things I find interesting. Some things will be sweet. Others will have a bite. Enjoy!
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lunacyiero

anyone else ever daydream for 6 hours straight and then after ur just like nah let’s scrap that and do it all again but slightly to the left

my brain: *out of breath* Was that good?!

Me in a beret, taking a long draft from a cigarette and leaning back in my director’s chair: once again, from the top, this time with feeling

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beaubete

Oh no, that emotionally devastating scene would have been so much more impactful if it had happened earlier.  Better go back to the same kernel of daydream I’ve been basing every daydream of the last three weeks on and do it right this time.  If I’m not swallowing back tears at Starbucks, I’m gonna have to figure out another way to emotionally gut myself.

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mareebird

I feel so called out

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Milo Meets Kida: Translated! (aka milo fails at atlantean)

  • Origin: Atlantean

“Who are you strangers and where did you come from?”

  • Origin: Atlantean

(HALTINGLY & with a bad, very american accent)

“Who…are you strangers and….where did you come from?” 

  • Origin: Atlantean 

“Your manner of speech is strange to me.”

  • Origin: Atlantean

“I….travel…friend!”

  • Origin: Atlantean

“…I travel friend…

(impatiently) …You are a friendly traveler?” 

(does anyone else love how she’s correcting his shitty atlantean LOL bbies ♥)

  • Origin: Latin (look at this frickin dweeb switching into latin)

“So, my friend, I am a traveler!”

  • Origin: Latin

“You speak the language of the Romans!”

  • Origin: French (milo plz)

“Do you speak French?”

  • Origin: French

“Yes, sir!”

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afallenwolf

And for the record, Atlantean was written/created by  Marc Okrand the dude who made Klingon. 

So Kida and Milo are ACTUALLY talking to each other. Not just saying gibberish.

Milo: I know these other languages but I’m not fluent in yours yet please have mercy.

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kamari3

Kida: You seem to be an idiot but I’ll forgive you because you’re trying.

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This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome.

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child.

I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.

—It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still

Dear Sit Still,

Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.

A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.

Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.

I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.

Mend your wicked ways.

And that’s the tea!

It’s not complicated.

  • Your wine glass is on your right
  • Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
  • Watch your damn kids
  • And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!
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reblogged

Pennywise is a whole clown and does clown things

The losers club: You’re a fucking clown!

Pennywise:

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That was just pure disrespect, she deserves the money, it was accumulated in her presence, with her support, can we please use respectful language when we speak about women please

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every writing tip article and their mother: dont ever use adverbs ever!
me, shoveling more adverbs onto the page because i do what i want: just you fucking try and stop me

May I add something, because I will never shut up about this book (Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark):

Finally, some good fucking advice

oh my god this is very good

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pr1nceshawn

Survival Myths That Could Do More Harm Than Good.

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thahalfrican

I….they out here trying to kill us with these myths!!!!

the absolute best survival tip: keep yo ass out of the damn woods

the absolute best survival tip: keep yo ass out of the damn woods

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I l̨ove̡ you. (ʘ‿ʘ) | PayPal | Patreon

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reblogged
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cielrouge

How I Got My Agent & My Querying Journey

I hadn’t originally planned on writing this post, but @a-vague-yet-menacing-agency mentioned that some of you might be interested my querying journey and how wildly they can vary for writers overall. Writers June Hur and Lydia Kang have these great blog posts about their query stats, which you can compare to mine below:

My Overall Querying Stats

NOVEL #1 (October 2016 - April 2017) Queries sent: 17 Partial requested: 3 Full requested: 8 Passes: 17 Offers of Rep: 0

*1 round of #DVpit

Novel #2 Round 1: Pre-Revision (October 2016 - November 2017) Queries sent: 50 Partials requested: 3 Full requested: 5 Offers of Rep: 0

*2 rounds of #DVpit and 1 round of traditional querying

Novel #2 Round 2: Post-Revision (April 2018 - August 2018) Queries sent: 40 Partials requested: 2 Full requested: 9 Offers of Rep: 1*

*1 round of #Dvpit & traditional querying, and an in-person conference pitch

NOVEL #2 TOTAL (October 2016 - August 2018) Queries sent: 90 Partials requested: 8 Full requested: 14 Passes: 89 Offers of Rep: 1*

*While I got in touch with other agents who had my full, the rest eventually bowed out for various reasons: time constraints, not connecting with the voice, or having different editorial visions in mind,  but stepping aside because I already had an offer.

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of my querying experience, I’ll get into my larger writing journey. I’ve been writing fiction on-and-off for about 6-7 years, and started when I was 19 during college (summer 2011-present). I’d always loved reading and writing growing up, and it seems apt that I eventually ended up working in book publishing (which is a whole other story in itself lol), but it really wasn’t until a good friend challenged me to actually sit down and write fiction while we were on vacation together that I began. (This  vacation was also telling since we roomed for 5 weeks and didn’t want to kill each other by the end, so I’d say that pretty much set us on the path on still being lifelong friends pfft).

Like most writers, I feel that your first novel is definitely…a struggle since you’re still pretty much learning and perfecting your writing craft along the way. I started writing Novel #1 back in May 2011 but it really wasn’t until January 2016 that I ended up with a complete draft that I felt was ready to pitch for #DVpit, an online pitch contest on Twitter that focuses on showcasing marginalized voices/perspectives. But there was definitely a period where I took a 6 month break where I just had to step away from Novel #1 and come refreshed with a new set of eyes. This also definitely made me realize that I’m a total plotter and can’t do the pantser thing (hence why it took me almost 4 years and 4 separate drafts to finish Novel #1, yikes).

But of course, I was doing other things like taking online writing classes to work on my craft. And this is my personal opinion, but anyone who tells you that you NEED an M.F.A. in Writing to be considered a ‘legitimate’ writer is frankly, full of shit. Likewise, there is no cut-off age where you 'peak’ as a writer. Like trust me, it’s really not the end of the world if you don’t have an agent or aren’t published by the time that you’re 30, which feels like such an arbitrary deadline in itself - since from my own experience on the trade publishing house side, I worked with a wide array of writers: some who had their M.F.A’s, some who didn’t, some who didn’t even attend college, and some that didn’t even pick up a pen well into their late 30s, 40s, or even 50s. Overall, I felt that some of the best writers that I worked with were the ones that really took the time to develop their writing craft over the years.  

Anywho, that craft tangent aside, during on my 6 month break, probably during spring to summer 2015 where I stepped completely away from Novel #1, I got the plot inklings of Novel #2. I took a few months to completely finish drafting a chapter-by-chapter plot of Novel #2, and didn’t actually start writing it until April 2016. I finished the first draft by the end of August 2016 (about 5 and half months). But keep in mind that I was in-between jobs during this period, so I would say this experience is one where I’d look back and almost call it a 'social experiment’ of what it’d be like to be a full-time writer. And I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it’d be hahaha. I think partly it was where I was location-wise, since I wasn’t geographically near any of my writing friends, so the actual writing process felt pretty isolating at times.

After I finished, I sent Novel #2 to my critique partners and a few beta readers and the reaction to Novel #2 I noticed was different than Novel #1, where a lot of them commented how stronger my writing had gotten. After doing a quick editing round, I felt that Novel #2 was ready to pitch in time for #DVpit during October 2016. The original plan was to only pitch Novel #2, but a friend convinced me to pitch Novel #1 as well, since it was a completed draft. I thought 'why not?’ and went ahead. How #DVpit works is that you pitch your manuscript project in a single tweet and it’s seen by participating literary agents and editors. If an agent or editor likes your tweet, that gives them the official okay to query them with how many ever sample pages they want (ranging from 5, 10, 30, 50, and some that even ask for the full manuscript off the bat). I was pretty stunned to get some bites for both Novel #1 and Novel #2 from several agents and editors. Some requested partials (usually 50-100 pgs) while others wanted the full.

After hearing back from most agents about Novel #1 by the winter, my gut suspicions were confirmed: while I had a complete draft, it still had a lot to work to undergo editorially compared to Novel #2, which I thought was in better shape overall. So, I decided to shelve Novel #1 until further notice. In between waiting to hear back from agents/editors during #DVpit, I participated a second round with Novel #2 (April 2017) but also did a round of traditional querying during summer 2017. Between those three rounds (2016-2017) I had garnered several partial and full requests. But I eventually took a break from traditional querying after the agent passes started coming in, and I noticed a common trend on why they were passing, such as:

  • “While I enjoyed reading this, I did find the tone to skew much younger than I had expected. The heroine’s voice and observations felt younger than 27 to me as well.”
  • “While the premise is intriguing, and I really loved your heroine, I didn’t find myself completely compelled by the way the story is unfolding. So, I don’t feel I’m the right agent.”
  • “I’m afraid that I didn’t connect with the voice, so I’m going to have to step aside.”
  • “The concept intrigued me, but I’m afraid I didn’t connect with the voice and style to the degree I’d hoped.”

After noticing this recurring trend, namely with agents not connecting with the character voice, I realized that I needed to take a step back and need a fresh pair of eyes, so I hired a freelance editor to take a look at  Novel #2. He was just what I needed and I did a major revision, which included reconstructing about 1/3rds of the plot (by making the romance storyline secondary and the family drama the primary storyline), deleting and compressing several secondary characters, and most importantly, changing the story from 1st person to 3rd person POV. I hired the freelance editor back in November 2017 and he got back a final edit letter around February 2018.

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chamber87

WHOO!! So happy and excited!

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