Shouting into the void again.

Ugh! I really hate my brain sometimes. I had a really awkward dream yesterday I keep thinking about.

From what I remember, one of my friends/coworkers got her foot ran over by the forklift and I being a shop mom I am drove her to the hospital. But that wasn't the weird part.

It jumped to me and my work husband alone. He picked me up and put me on a table, he was standing between my legs staring at me. I smiling and he kissed me, which surprised me but I gave in. It lingered and he asked permission with tongue. I tested the waters and then i startled myself awake.

Like what the fuck?!?! I don't understand why!?! I'm a damn Demi sexual who's aromantic. I only characterize myself as Demi because of my weird attraction to fictional character. I've never been in a real relationship because of my orientation and trust issues, plus I don't feel they are necessary.

We aren't even that close, one or two common interests, we work together, super height difference, he's a good deal older with a wife and kids. The list goes on. Literally the only thing is that we hug and ask how the other is doing, that is the only exchange.

The thing is that I should just ignore it. But I'm inclined to figure out why my psyche is doing it.

I have a few theories for the attraction.

1. Older men are more stable and experienced, so as a younger lady that could be a thing.

2. He's only of the few people I feel at ease touching me, I'm a hugger and back scratcher/massager but not everyone returns that affection.

3. Both are comfortable with each other's presents, like no need to talk kinda thing. Which I've only had with a couple of people.

I don't really know but I'm just so frustrated about it. Nothing will change, I just hope I lost interest soon. I really don't want to have another dream episode.